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TV ShowsBig Brother UK
I like this joke!
PoolsharkPoolshark
Ev (Peachy) Wife says to hubby "did you know a bull fooks 3000 times a year, why can't you?" Husband replies "ask the bull if he fooks the same miserable cow every night" [ more ]
likeafire Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when i do this" Doctor: "Well, dont do it then" Wayne Rooney's been arrested for shoplifting a packet of Cherry Bakewells. He explained to police that he'd promised Coleen never to pay for another tart again [ more ]
Baz Re: I like this joke! [ more ]
See all 8 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
That Kate Walsh from Live from Studio 5.
PoolsharkPoolshark
kattymieoww I preferred that Scottish presenter (Name escapes me) that was on Something for the weekend.She left after having a baby. Louise Redknapp is pretty crappy. [ more ]
Karma_ Did the medics have a labrador wearing a yellow harness with them? Did they wear their sunglasses in the house? Did they make eye contact with you? Are you sure they weren't on some forced return to work plan from the Job Centre? [ more ]
Crunchy Nuts Listen Karmski, I was really ill when I had flu. I couldn't get out of my bed for nearly 2 days straight. The medics told me I was a miracle for surviving such a critical condition. [ more ]
See all 18 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Catwalk models
brisketbrisket
darloboy (Play The Game!) Re: Catwalk models [ more ]
Darthhoob Reference: [Evelyn Williams] Evelyn Williams offline 3,040 Forum Posts Today at 12:43 Last Edited: I was posting it due to its hilarious content, but then noticed her bones are where her chest is meant to be she looks .....old like one of those egyptian mummies almost i'd rather be my size than that and not have to wear those god awful clothes lol! plus eat cake and smile [ more ]
Former Member I agree with isadora. Plus they are meant to be beautiful, striking and unobtainable. smiling doesn't suggest any of that. smiling suggests pretty nice girl. [ more ]
See all 14 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Nighties, PJ's and the like
FM Former Member
El Loro I read this in the Readers Digest many many years ago. A woman had just come out of the bath and dried herself when there was a knock at the door. So she covered her front with her towel and opened the door. The postman handed her a parcel, and she was wondering why the postman was looking over her shoulder. After she shut the door, she turned round and realised that he was looking at the large mirror which was futher down the hall. [ more ]
Baz Reference: ent to the loo, the lock broke and after trying to escape for an hour & a half, my mum (bless her) phoned the fire brigade!!!! I have never ever been so embarrassed especially when a hunky fireman joked, "What some women will do to get some men in the house" Bless [ more ]
SazBomb Reference: I have never ever been so embarrassed especially when a hunky fireman joked, "What some women will do to get some men in the house" [ more ]
See all 35 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Druids
MMDMMD
El Loro Reference: Moonbeams I thought they had to reg as a religion for tax reasons? You are correct that they benefit for tax purposes, but this is per a BBC article: Phil Ryder, chairman of the trustees of the Druid Network told the BBC: "It's nice to have that official recognition. It's not why we applied originally. "We applied because we were legally obliged to do so." He said the organisation represented around 350 people who had paid £10 each for membership but referred to a BBC Inside Out... [ more ]
Moonbeams I thought they had to reg as a religion for tax reasons? [ more ]
El Loro There is a difference between the original Druids and the modern Druids (sometimes called Neo-Druids). It is alleged historically that the original Druids were not averse to human sacrifice. From Wiki: An 18th century illustration of a wicker man, the form of execution that Caesar alleged the druids used for human sacrifice. From the "Duncan Caesar", Tonson, Draper, and Dodsley edition of the Commentaries of Caesar translated by William Duncan published in 1753. Obviously forming the basis... [ more ]
See all 15 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Cheryl accused of racism
SazBombSazBomb
Scotty Reference: Dont know about that Scotty, wasnt there a story recently about someone on some programme or another getting caught out because of some Emigration issue? I don`t know about that story Skylark but my point is... immigration officials would NEVER contact XFactor and tell them not to put Gamu through because there might be a problem with her residency! [ more ]
Clumsycat and if she had picked gamu and treyc or anastasia would she have been white-ist????? bloody ridiculous.. she`s not racist.. just talentless [ more ]
Liverpoollass I think Cheryl should have picked Gamu over the blonde Gwen lookalike. [ more ]
See all 37 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
X Factor contestant Gamu faces deportation....
stonksstonks
Croctacus Apparently they lost the right to appeal because of an administrative cock up taking it over the time limit. [ more ]
Yogi19 According to BBC Scotland news, Gamu's MP has become involved and the family are asking for a judicial revue of the case. [ more ]
Croctacus Accord to the Mirror today they won't be forced to leave cos they do not force anyone to go back to Zimbabwe but are asked to leave voluntarily....if they don't go they are then here as an illegal immigrant... [ more ]
See all 22 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
How do you dress to doss?
CroctacusCroctacus
PeterCat Reference: How do you dress to doss? If I'm dossing, I don't dress. At all. [ more ]
slimfern Reference: I can never be bare footed! I have socks and slippers on now... my feet are always cold Sometimes in summer, I'll be wearing shorts & vest top in the house, and fluffy socks I don't own any socks Am always in bare feet unless I go out the flat ...but then as soon as there is a nip in the air...on goes my heating [ more ]
Former Member Reference: Go for it Onetoo... but make people add the time they put them on too.... Haha! OK [ more ]
See all 56 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Corrie Star looks Fab
FM Former Member
lainy m Reference: Wow she looks great! I didn't like that family when they moved in but I've slowly come round to them since then - even the son lately which says something lol. I got teary eyed last night at her reaction to him going off to Afghanistan, very real reaction to how any mother would feel, I assume, as thank God I'll never experience that feeling. Sadly......no, correction.......proudly......I have experienced that feeling.....twice. [ more ]
Former Member She looks great, i am on my Christmas diet, but unfortunately dont have a good looking trainer coming in Not doing well, just having oatcakes, very good, with garlic Philly, not good ... i have no self control... [ more ]
SazBomb Reference: That's what I thought! Debenhams and Next make me feel like Posh Spice (sometimes). New Look and H&M make me feel like Susan Boyle I have a love/hate relationship with H&M, I do love their clothes and prices... but I hate that they make me feel like a moose with their sizes [ more ]
See all 15 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Russell Brand meets Jeremy Paxman
batemanbateman
Carnelian As you say Bateman, he was quite nervous but very articulate and didn't let Paxman get a word in. I think Paxman didn't seem to mind Russell's non-stop conversation and as you say very perceptive and spot on in particular about the Daily Mail/News International and the whole manufactured outrage of the Manuelgate hysteria. Russell did come over as someone trying a bit too hard to impress a person he respects and lapsed into comedic routine and persona several times. Overall an entertaining... [ more ]
Blackpudlian Reference: He is a proper dandy highwayman with an eloquent tongue. Yup [ more ]
Ev (Peachy) He is a proper dandy highwayman with an eloquent tongue. [ more ]
See all 4 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Teapots & Roasting tins
brisketbrisket
Blizz'ard My mother in law insists on clearing up the kitchen, when they'd been round here for a meal. She always puts the roasting tins back in the oven, unwashed. Next day, I'll turn the oven on to heat up and, ten minutes later, the smoke alarm gets angry. [ more ]
Former Member Reference: what prevents the puds from rising is not using the correct ingredients,not having the tin scalding hot and not beating the batter enough. and not leaving the batter in the fridge for at least an hour [ more ]
brisket Reference: onetoo Mam used to make a big square yorkshire pudd that she cut up into quarters but never washed that. It was black! Mine too. [ more ]
See all 61 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Fuel/cold weather payment ban for all pensioners under 66 regardless of income (still debating whether it's one payment with 2 names or 2 separate payments) and parents who earn over 44k pa to lose child benefit (and this is a very very long thread title)
Karma_Karma_
Former Member No difference between water and prescriptions, yes i have those days too Karma, join the club [ more ]
Karma_ Reference: We dont Karma, think thats Ireland I thought Scotland did Maybe I'm getting it confused with the scale free water It's been one of those days [ more ]
Croctacus And Wales.... [ more ]
See all 145 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
X-Factor wildcard spoiler!
darloboy (Play The Game!)darloboy (Play The Game!)
Croctacus It would...we'd have had more people than can actually sing and less of the dross [ more ]
Blackpudlian If they hadn't changed the ages for the boys & girls groups to 28 years from 25 years, things would have been a lot better. [ more ]
Kaffs Happy about Paije - I wanted him through If Gamu's to be deported then I'd rather Keri over TreyC, but not too fussed. The others don't matter, they're just filler, but Diva Fever will do what they're meant to. A less (imo) annoying Jedward for a couple of weeks. [ more ]
See all 16 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Musical instruments
brisketbrisket
Cosmopolitan Reference: Was your version really that bad? I wasplaying all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order..... God bless Eric Morecambe. [ more ]
brisket Reference:~Cosmo~ I managed to learn 'Lara's Theme' from Dr. Zhivago and then promptly got expelled Was your version really that bad? [ more ]
Cosmopolitan Reference: Karma Status Quo, anyone? To quote Meatloaf: You took the words right out of my mouth. I was taught the violin - under protest! I managed to learn 'Lara's Theme' from Dr. Zhivago and then promptly got expelled. [ more ]
See all 33 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Stinging Nettle...
MrMincePieMrMincePie
bateman Nettle and walnut ravioli FTW. [ more ]
Marguerita Reference: . may"bee" it's karma [ more ]
Yellow Rose Reference: Marguerita Yellow Rose please dont start me on wasp stings we ended up digging up all our fruit trees every time I went near them I would get stung When I was a child there was a large shrub in the garden covered in flowers. Every day there would be loads of bees on the flowerheads and I'd pick them up by the wings cos I wanted them to leave the flowers alone lol, I never hurt them as they always flew away. Mum and Dad would always tell me I mustn't do that because they'd sting... [ more ]
See all 19 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Katie is no stranger to Sony and Cowell
FM Former Member
Baz Reference: The video above of Mary singing she has truely killed one of my favourite songs of all time.. I agree Marg.... there is no expression in ti at all..... [ more ]
Former Member I tell you, the more I hear about this show this year the more angry I get However, I will still watch.... [ more ]
Former Member Rumour has it that Cowell had the girls in France(Belle Amie) for two weeks!This was before the final 12 were announced ,Belle Amie knew they were through all along. [ more ]
See all 45 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
What song should we try and get to the Xmas No 1?
Rawky-RooRawky-Roo
Former Member Anything but the X factor,sign me up [ more ]
Former Member Reference: Carnelian Cliff's "Mistletoe and Wine", Cliff at No. 1 on Xmas day is what Xmas is all about I was just going to post this . We have been without Sir Cliff at the top for far too long. I'd just like to see anything at number one other than the X Factor song . [ more ]
Suzi-Q "Who Wants to LIve Forever?" by Queen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db65ZsVsLWo [ more ]
See all 35 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Unfinished story lines in soaps
AimeeAimee
darloboy (Play The Game!) Alfie Moon going round London for condoms . [ more ]
Eugene's Lair Reference Carnelian 971 Forum PostsToday at 20:22: Phil's made a remarkable quick transition from crack addict and back in the space of four weeks. Blimey, I don't know what all this fuss is about crack when addicts can apparently turn their addictions on and off just like that. That's Phil for you, though - his powers of recovery border on the miraculous. It was exactly the same when he got shot... and when he got his spleen ruptured by Grant during "Sharongate"... and - well, you get the ... [ more ]
darloboy (Play The Game!) Billy Mitchell's past in Eastenders but for once he's getting his own storyline which is starting soon . [ more ]
See all 26 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Head of the child online protection centre has resigned in protest at government plans for the centre's future - Sara Payne describes this as the worst possible news
El LoroEl Loro
El Loro Reference: brisket On the radio Theresa May has just been saying although Ceop may be under a different umbrella organisation, there is no reason to suppose that its own specialism cannot continue as it has previously. But also on the radio, someone else was expressing concern that children could be put off by getting in touch with the National Crime Agency being police orientated rather than civilain orientated. Also Jim Gamble would hardly resign if it was just a matter of moving from one... [ more ]
Former Member I despair, i really do .......... [ more ]
Blizz'ard Gyps, that's awful! [ more ]
See all 12 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Norman Wisdom had died...
CroctacusCroctacus
Yellow Rose We've enjoyed watching all the clips on tv and ones we've found online. Hubby met him a few years ago at a golf club and said what a nice person he was, friendly and chatty with everyone and still had that cheeky sense of humour. I said to hubby earlier all the greats are leaving, hubby said they've all gone now he's gone, think he might be right. [ more ]
Moomin RIP Norman Wisdon. My Grandmother won a competition many years ago and the prize was to meet and dance with Norman Wisdom, He was a lovely, funny man. [ more ]
kattymieoww I'm sure that Lee Evans basses his act on him a bit. [ more ]
See all 34 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Ryder Cup Update.
FM Former Member
Former Member Totally agree. Alliss and the Beeb every time. Lost half the Masters now too to Sky [ more ]
Dame_Ann_Average Reference: Ah, Peter Alliss - "You'd need Carol Vorderman to work that one out, ahhh Carol Vorderman, I like Carol. I was watching Countdown the other day and I got aroused... ...7 letters, very good!" You could hear the shocked gasp from the other guy (I think it was Ken Brown) before he came with the punch line, he is brilliant and I agree with Monkey, he is Mr Golf [ more ]
Blizz'ard Ah, Peter Alliss - "You'd need Carol Vorderman to work that one out, ahhh Carol Vorderman, I like Carol. I was watching Countdown the other day and I got aroused... ...7 letters, very good!" [ more ]
See all 13 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Britain's Next Top Model live final
SazBombSazBomb
Karma_ Can't wait for ANTM! I LOVE Miss Jay Have seen the trailers and Tyra is looking F.I.E.R.C.E. *does head wobbly and pointy finger thing* I love seeing the girls in their normal guise and the transformation for the pictures, it helps to understand why they were picked. Some of the girls I look at and think 'Model? Model what? Steam train collection?' but then when you see them in the photographs they look stunning. Although there is still a mahooosive question mark over Lisa Snowdon's head for... [ more ]
SazBomb Reference: But what a load of old cack the whole live show was. It was like Butlins trying to recreate the Hilton, It was dire, I only turned over to see who won... I don't care about video messages from teh family FFS, I just want you to show me the ad campaign stuff, the photos, the final catwalk and then pick a winner - like ANTM New series of that next week BTW [ more ]
Karma_ I honestly thought she was deaf for about 5 weeks. She looked stunning with the darker hair though and when they showed her montage it was obvious why she won, her pics are amazing. Not surprised Joy came 3rd, she walked like she had piles Alesha wasn't as good as Tiffany, so the right girl won. But what a load of old cack the whole live show was. It was like Butlins trying to recreate the Hilton, and Elle McPhearson is totally up her own backside and her speaking voice gets my friggin goat [ more ]
See all 9 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Final 12 VT'S.
FM Former Member
Clumsycat wow, mary looks like dawn french [ more ]
Former Member Reference: Erin - Harry Hill is going to have a field day isn't he? Oh yes [ more ]
Former Member Reference: I don't watch Xfactor Baz You must Erin - Harry Hill is going to have a field day isn't he? [ more ]
See all 8 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
Good one Cheryl
FM Former Member
Yellow Rose Haven't read all the posts but we were totally shocked Cheryl didn't put Gamu through. Can't even begin to imagine why Cheryl made that decision, maybe she had an ear infection that day [ more ]
Karma_ I'd feel better if I punched something! However, I appreciate the route you attempted to go down to assist in the resolution of my dilemma. Nice try lad, but no cigar on this occasion I'm afraid. *violins* [ more ]
Crunchy Nuts Then let it out Karma. Google images, find a facepaml, and POST! You'll feel better for it [ more ]
See all 85 replies...
TV ShowsBig Brother UK
has anyone been outraged yet?
FM Former Member
Former Member Reference: Would you put them in charge of the blue stuff you put in your toilet syston You put blue tack in your toilet system? [ more ]
Blackpudlian Reference: I wouldn't put them in charge of my kettle Would you put them in charge of the blue stuff you put in your toilet syston? [ more ]
Moonbeams Is she not tweedy again?? Or whatever she was called or is she keeping his name? [ more ]
See all 35 replies...

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