The song about our primary school heidie.. they used to sing "Coojie bear, coojie bear ,the wee fat man wi the baldy hair"  

The manky pink lumpy custard and the smell of sick and sawdust in the dining hall. Blehh.

Getting called " Fairy Feet" and being mortified cause I did ballet.  ( I got the last laugh there cause I taught their kids ballet years down the line  

Ahh maaaaaaaaan Slinki! I'd forgotten about the pink custard   I liked it 

My school looks like a borstal but it was very nice, honest

I remember Edwin Morgan coming to read some of his poetry at our secondary school and the English teacher getting all fired up about what an honour it was  - this wee specky man stood in the assembly hall just making mad noises ( was a poem about the Loch Ness Monster allegedly) while all the third years cracked up and my pal wet herself laughing !

Lol at the young offenders institution that Gypsie refers to as school!

well, what can i say... it made me what i am today

Me too 

Did anyone else get the chocolate cake with mint custard?

I loved school and have loads of great memories.  

Melting pens over the bunsen burner to see who could make their pen the longest (while still being able to write with it).  

Trying to see how many girls we could fit in to one toilet cubicle at the same time (if I remember correctly we managed 13). 

At the time my school was split in to 2 sites.  The lower site was situated right opposite Durham Prison, it got very exciting if the prison alarms went off and the school got put in to lock down. (It didn't happen often) But I remember the silly girls getting overly upset and squealing and crying, while the rest of us went on convict watch with our faces pressed against the windows.

Fainting during assembly on my very first day at senior school.

Having a major crush on a teacher when I was in 5th year seniors, who once said he would prefer it if I didn't wear make up, so I said well I would prefer it if you didn't have that moustache.  Guess who came to school the day after having shaved off his moustache. 

Last year Junior school, doing concerts with the whole class at local old people homes and clubs.  I had to sing Thank you for the music solo, and pretend to play guitar while singing Just like a Flower (Nicole) - I believe that was that particular years Eurovision winner.

On the last day of 4th year me and my mates put cress seeds on all the chairs in the teachers lounge and watered them. By the time they came back it had all grown 

I hated PE so had my periods constantly for about 3 years 

I hated PE too, we had to do it outside wearing big navy knickers, oh the shame

I had a three year period too.  But it was more to avoid the showers after PE, I didn't really relish the thought of running naked with 30 other girls while the teacher looked on.

We were allowed to wear whatever we wanted so it was a mass of Vicky Pollards (the non sporty types) with their shell suits and side ponies and the Mean Girls (sporty types but not really, they just wanted to wear tight crop tops and hotpants)

Oooh I loved PE except for hockey & volleyball - Oh & crosscountry - we would hide in the woods till everyone was on their way back then join in 
Our first term of Home economics was to make our own PE skirts - needless to say they were done quick smart!

Sorry but laughed at the "mean girls", but yes we had them too , show offs

A few books that I recall reading in class at primary school:

 

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

The Griffin

 

Stig of the Dump

 

Far more enjoyable than the likes of King Lear that I was required to read a few years later. 

I remember pens with nibs and ink.

We had those when we were taught "joined up" writing.

some of the old desks we used to have in primary school had the little holes for the ink wells and the grooves to keep your pens/pencils in.  We regularly used to catch our hands in them by accident

I had a pet spider in my desk. 

She was called Jesus (said in the Spanish way), because she had a cross on her back.

The only good thing about school was the chocolate concrete for pudding 

I hated school with a passion - one of the nuns used to call me Dixie because she couldn't pronounce my name   I think she was a secret Pixie and Dixie watcher (cartoon) because it was popular at the time and was just such a random thing to call someone 

 

and when I first came to England during secondary school I couldn't get enough of Dundee biscuits 

While going through some old papers of my mothers recently I found my school report when i was about 6. It really is me to a tee. Amazing to think that it was obvious what i was and wasnt good at from such a young age.

Aww

i am really LOL  at man with baldy hair    that is hilarious  , wee called our headmaster , big beef ...... ( his name was mr hambley )  and i'll never forget a guy ( wee tumshie )   .  said *run like fook , big beef must be ragin he's dain 90mph   ............. he wz 30 stone lol   ( aw memories ) 

Laughing at " wee tumshie"! !

Our Geography teacher was a dumpy lil bald guy with a pipe - he used to sit slouched back in his chair peering over his specs until we had found the text he wanted us to copy then he would leave us to it & go do whatever it was he did in the small room next door - occasionally peering through the hole in the classroom door 

....and before anyone asks  - No  I didn't use a quill.

Chisel and stone?