Do you all get along? I mostly mean with your sisters and brothers if you have any. If you don't get along do you just ignore them or fight with them all the time? Is there pressure amongst families to all get along so as not to rock the boat and have you been forced into going along with things just to keep the peace?
I'm just wondering coz I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Turn a blind eye to all the badness someone has done and invite them to a family thing or stand my ground and say the person isn't welcome even though it's causing more arguments?
How do you all deal with these things?
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but as I pointed out to my mother the other day... my brother has never done jack shit for me... he'd be the last person who'd help me out in a crisis! I do love him, but after years of being there for him when he needed it, only for him to then go off on his merry way and shit on the rest of us from a great height when his life was all hunky dory... I no longer put up with the "but you have to cos he is family" crap.
I don't go out of my way to be unkind, but I don't inconvenience my family (hubby & kids) to fit in with his desires either. Hence this year we had our own little christmas... and didn't sacrifice it for the sake of him & my parents,
I can't see my kids being like that though, my daughter is almost maternal about her brother.
We all fought when growing up and the sister I was closest to as a kid is now the one I'm least fond of although I still have a soft spot for her and would never like to see her in trouble. Strangely the one who beat me up the most as a kid is the one I'm closest to now and she's great. Funny how things change as we grow up and our eyes are opened more.
My 2 kids fight non stop and are then hugging and saying they love each other the next minute so I've hope for them yet
Same here
One always rocks the boat and up until recently, got away with it. I couldn't give a stuff as it never affected me personally - or Mr. C directly. But then she decided to give my husband his turn and with plenty of venom and spite.
One step too far.
I let her have a few attempts and then she went over the line big time.
End of contact. I refuse to have her in my home despite the fact that everyone else has made up "for the sake of"....whatever. Any family get together - and we have many, she is not invited.
I can't be doing with adults p*$$ing about and attempting to make others lives miserable just because they've f'ed up yet again. She knows she's gone too far and she also knows NOTHING she says can ever make things right. She opened her smart mouth once too often and I decided to shut it for her permanently.
I haven't missed her.
My mum's one of 14 and she'll tell you that the only thing she has in common with half of them is the same bloodline. You can love them all your life but it doesn't mean you have to like them (that's according to my mother).
Cosmopolitan.....when you have a family get together and she's not invited how do the other family members react? Do you get anyone saying well I'm not coming if she's not invited? And do you avoid gatherings she's at? Sorry, just curious as to how it's dealt with.
yeah... my Mum says that too!
& yeah... I can relate to your daughters take on it.... very similar set up.
I felt out with my sister in 2003 .... we didnt speak for 3 yrs until my mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness, then we had to come together for my mums sake. We reconciled for 2 years & then she upset me again ..... re-offended you might say
I may, one day, contact her ... but I know it will be me to offer the olive branch, not her, even though she was the one at fault.
Exactly!!! I absolutely agree. I don't get what the pay off is to them... making someone else miserable doesn't make you feel happier... well it shouldn't make you feel happier. I guess some people are just twisted like that.
I am very much the same as you like that Cosmo... family or not family... (with the exception of my father... who I still tolerate for the sake of my mother)... if they cause trouble and make us unhappy then I cut them off.
They're all fine with it. Mr. C refused to see her for a while but was sort of blackmailed by his father into staying in touch - she started texting, writing etc. He replies but never starts a convo with her and is always brief. He does it for appearances and to make his father think it's ok.
As for the rest of the family, they accept it and understand; even my ma in law. I'm doing one of those pathetic "it's the principle" kind of things. She was soooooooo over the mark that even they can't argue my point....despite the 'victim' being back on vague speaking terms (Men, eh..!).
Another sister refuses to have anything to do with her either, so that helps I suppose - but their arguement is not my arguement. You keeping up here?
Any extended family gatherings are fewer and further between so we've yet to cross that hurdle. No weddings or funerals, as yet. Oh, except my own (wedding that is). I said she wasn't invited and thankfully at the time my husband had already beaten me to the answer - he wouldn't have her there either.
I shall be civil if ever we HAD to be in the same place, I'm sure of it. But it won't bring us back on friendly speaking terms. She knows this. She knows I've got her sussed.
In our case it's because she's always been in the limelight and her little brother came along and stole some of her thunder. Not that he had any desire to do so - it's sibling jealousy on her part; he's very understated and unassuming about himself.
My husbands family are very different - I gret on with most of them very well - haven't spoken to my FIL though for about twenty five years and never will again (I think my reasons are justified).
We had a bad time with certain members of the family last June and I saw red and now ignore them all - apart from my older brother and his son. I don't brood on not speaking or seeing them, we weren't that close anyway and once someone has crossed the line with me I am very, very unforgiving.
It's not nice but it's the way I am
Ella xxxx it's lovely to see you here again. You have been missed
I'm a bit like that. I don't think it's a terribly honourable trait - it's just how I am.
Don't mess with my kids and expect me to be ok with it even if you are members of my extended family is the way I see it
I'm of the same mind as you ..........DON'T MESS WITH MY KIDS!
I'm the oldest and my two younger sisters are so very different but so alike at the same time.
We have a huge family, massive and we mostly all get on except for my baby sister and my fathers baby brother, she hates him. Dad and baby bro had a falling out years ago, i can't even remember what it was about money or something, but they made their peace with each other before dad died. Baby sis ( must know more then she lets on) hasn't forgave him and I doubt she ever will. She's getting married the end of the year and baby uncle most definatley wont be there.
My kid brother is a flipping diamond though, he's had a year from hell and he couldn't spoil me enough, bless him.
got a step bro who i love to bits though
quote:Ella... my kids still adore each other! They a boy of 13 & girl of nearly 18. It has always amazed me that they get on so well.. my brother & I did nothing but fight from the word go, as kids, and later as adults.
I can't see my kids being like that though, my daughter is almost maternal about her brother.
That last line sounds like me and my brother I still adore him now and would do anything for him - we're 28 and 23
quote:My mum's one of 14
jellus cos my ma loves me more
half bro is a pervert-paedophile
oh well
i got you lot
more family
than i was born to
got a foster bro-he's a brilliant lad
People like that are toxic and they will poison you if you let them. She is probably quite a sad person but that's not fault.