and you lot say us Northerners talk funny

My sons are almost fluent since my 17 year old nephew came to live with us 5 months ago. One of my favourite things is going on my nieces and nephews (I have 8 that are teenagers) facebook pages and correcting them. Only one of them has blocked me from his wall but he did warn me after I wrote "I'll tell you what's Peak neff, that £10 grand a term my bredrin is paying for you to cotch at Stowe School when u carnt string a sentence togeffer".  He said something back like "Auntie, I got big luv 4 u but u r banned 4rom ma wall now....ps. can I cotch at urs nex w/end?" He waited for me to say yes and then I was blocked 

@ Suzy.

(& yeah...  the girl says cotch too!)

Drookit - soaked through is how I've always known it. Maybe it's regional variations. I'd spell your mum's one DRAIKIT,

Ok here we go...... Words that are common here in the Black Country and so far as I am aware not used elsewhere.

Mardy is used here as well to mean sulky, it really made me laugh last week when watching Wimbledon and the player Mardy Fish kept being mentioned... I was convinced he had got a long face!

Kenched ~ means sprained as in 'ave yow kenched your ankle me wench

Puss ~ purse

Clemmed ~ hungry

Ay it? ~ Isn't it?

Yow ~ you

'Oss road ~ road

Suck ~ sweets

Wench ~ girl or woman

Bonk ~ Bank.  Usually used in a place name such as Quarry Bank (Bonk)

Up the wooden hills to Bedfordshire ~ going to bed

Black over the back of Bills mothers ~ dark skies, looks like rain.

Mom for Mum.

Actually some of our sayings could sound quite rude to the rest of the country, I mean you could ask someone if they had any suck (meaning have you got any sweets) and get quite a rude answer!!

Is the phrase  "Up the dancers" meaning "Going to bed" a universal saying or from Geordieland?

I've never known

My all time fave must be,

"Divent ploof it in ya snotta cloot"

Meaning

"Don't spit it into your hankerchief" 

Many years ago, we lived near Peterhead in Aberdeenshire. Half the time, I didn't know what anyone was talking about.

Fit like?  = How are you?

A quine or quiney = a girl

A loon or loony = a boy

Sonty = Santa

Bunkie = Bank

I remember one (non local) woman being very offended when her son was born and locals kept calling him a bonnie, wee loony.

In Wales Grandma is Mang-ee

Odd, lol

Was he a Geordie or lived elsewhere?

Was it you that bought Peter Reid's Volvo ?  

My wee brother went to visit his friend in Aberdeen, and a woman asked " Far d'ye comfae?" He said " Aye, quite far"

( far = where ) 

Naw, it wisnae us.

I needed a translater when I lived up that way. I don't know how many "conversations" I had with the villagers - and I hadn't a clue what we had been talking about.

My dad talks about when he was in the air force , there was a guy from rural Aberdeenshire and a guy from Somerset who would chat away to each other .. he said it sounded like " fit like fit like ooooarrr oooarrr" , nobody could understand either of them but them!  

I would love to have heard them.

I went to Kircaldy but I had to stop and ask directions to a hotel . I asked a guy where it was he said "Dae ye ken where the train station is" I said "Yes" he said " Well ye dinnae want to go there" !!

Hahahah!!  

I thought it was Mam Gu pronounced Mam Gee. My ex MIL is of Welsh descent and she wanted my boys to call her Gu so they do

We always stopped the table or chair shoogling with a bible 

I love "furryboots ye fae?" 

Love it 

I've never lost my broad Weegie accent 

It's brilliant, isn't it?

Man that was very shoogly leg!

Good for you.

Hubby has been up here for decades but has retained his Scunthorpe accent.

Although, we have educated him and he now has a vast number of slang Scottish words in his vocabulary as well.

My sister lived in Aberdeen(Ellon) years ago when her husband was moved there for his job,Now she's Scottish but she had no idea what they were saying to her half the time,especially if they were speaking the full "Doric". My niece was born there and  I stayed there for a week to help my sister.The ice cream van arrived and I went out to it and  a neighbour spoke to me..to this day I have no idea what she said..I just replied "Fine!" and hoped for the best.

Big Aggie from Aberdeen,you dont want to get on the wrong side of her,Hilarious ending.(contains swearing so I wont embed it)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmnEWNzngCI&feature=related

 Erin, I love the apology at the end.

erin, I`ve got that in my faves on the tubey.                                                                                        

What a scream.   

Tony Blair visits the hospital

Tony Blair, the British Prime Minister, is being shown around a hospital. Towards the end of the visit, he is shown into a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease.

He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies:

"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm; Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm."

Tony, being somewhat confused (easily done) goes to the next patient and greets him. The patient replies:

"Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, but we hae meat and can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."

The third starts rattling off as follows:

"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!"

Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and asks what sort of ward is this. A mental ward?

"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."

Wrong number ,can you imagine that on your answering service

I'd have been packing my case ready for the off, before Big Aggie came doon tae get me.

A Scotsman walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." This is not a phrase we Scotsmen normally use so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.

When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was who told him about his "barracks door." He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open did you see a Scottish soldier standing in there at attention?"

The lady thought for a moment and said, "No, no. I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffle bags!!!

Big Aggie

Black Country Ay It!. Not Birmingham.