No Soozy, I didn't. What channel's it on? I might be able to get it on Catch Up

I've recorded this Soozy - it's with Gerry Robinson isn't it - I like him.

Pam it was BBC 2 I think

BBC2 Sprout - bit of an eye opener and worth a look.

I have been rather appalled that some animal charities spend a lot of the money donated to them to contest wills.

Ta folks. *goes to telly mag page and rings it, leaving the page open* 

Hubby's grandfather died last year...   left the bulk of his estate to the Catholic Church...  hubby & his 4 siblings got nothing.   Even worse, hubby Aunt who basically devoted her life to caring for her father was left just enough to pay off the rest owing on the very modest house they lived in.   I know that would usually be seen as generous, but my grandfather in law had properties in Canada & Hong Kong...  quite a few in Hong Kong actually. 

Auntie in Law isn't bothered though...  she is now living her life for herself, for the first time, aged 55.

We aren't sure if my Father in Law got anything    He tends to keep things like that under his hat...  on account of his ex wife...   my Mother in Law!   -  I can see his point 

Even typing this there is a part of me that feels wrong in feeling that Grandad should have left hubby & his siblings something...   you feel a bit vulture like.    But really...   even a grand each would have had an enormous impact on all of their lives, whereas its a drop in the ocean for the Church.

Yeah, the church again Ditty.   Don't they have enough it seems like?       Yes..... I know, it may be a controversial post 

We went to visit our vsolicitor a couple of years ago to do the will. He's been our solicitor for 35 years and we've had lots of dealings with him (long distance) - we chatted it all through - we then went out for a marvellous boozy lunch on him at a wonderful boutique hotel in the Yorkshire Dales (where he's based) and we still haven't got anything on paper. C'est la vie! I guess we'll chase him up on it - this time lunch on us!

Oh blimey Sooz. Gawd forbid, anything happened.                Get it seen to quick 

I've just watched it.... and can't say I was impressed by the attitude of either of the women in the programme..Although having said that, I am in a second marriage, so know how difficult and complicated these decisions are.   But these two seemed very selfish to me...

I'm not planning on going anywhere 

I have to say - I've got three grown up kids and basically they know our wishes. I like to think they'd sort it out amicably. Saying that .......this has prompted discussion between my husband and I and we've resolved to get it sorted.

A pair of prize bitches IMO. It's one thing to be like that - but quite another to be recorded on TV for everyone to see.

Exactly Soozy...... they came across as very money grabbing.. IMO.....

Course you're not!          My mam was the same with me and my two brothers. I used to share the mortgage with my mam before she died, and while my two brothers wouldn't think of anything underhand, money does odd things to people, and she still had something built into the contract where they couldn't throw me out of the house when she died . 

In all honesty - when you're gone, you're gone - obviously our kids are in line to get it but .............I don't think it's in their nature to fall out over it all (who knows) - those women who so passionately wanted their sare left to a cats home or a park in their memory obviously have nothing better to worry about. They were obviously sole bent on ensuring that their husbands children didn't get their share of the money (even though - in the second case she had bought far less in monetary terms to the marriage). It was all a bit vindictive IMO.

I thought that too Soozy....  they certainly seemed very *me, me*..... It's not even as if they had been together that long.... and of course, even though someone agrees to the terms and makes their will accordingly, what's to stop them going out tomorrow and changing it, without telling their other half....

Like I said Sooz, money makes people act in an odd way sometimes 

That's sad but true Sprout,my dad passed away in Nov so also I can speak from personal experience.

I didn't know about the prgramme so didn't see it. If I had loooooads of money firstly I'd think of family, secondly of animal institutions I'd love to help. My intention for them would be one thing, if they have other ideas that's not my problem but theirs that they too would have to answer to one day

Nobody is entitled to anything. If someone works and saves for something then it's up to them what they do with the money.....alive or dead. Children are NOT automatically entitled to anything unless it's stated in a will. Not everyone leads happy Mary Poppins lives and the death of someone close can break the closest of families. 

My kids are getting a small fund to see them through college then they're on their own. I'm not gonna raise layabouts who want everything handed to them on a plate.

You'd be amazed at how nasty families can be when someone dies and there's money involved

Absolutely,...Cag's I didn't want money ,honest to god not a single penny and I made that quite clear tbh.,little things were more important to me,little personal things belonging to my dad are invaluable and worth more than all the money in the world.

I couldn't agree more. When we're retired we certainly wont stint ourselves in order to ensure that the kids are left with loads. No one left us anything (on the contrary my father in law robbed us of thousands when we were in business with him) - it's true - we had a good life and then had to start all over when he buggered off to Portugal.

The thing is - if there's anything left when we're gone - it'll go to our children. There really is no one else we'd leave it too.

Well said Cags    And good for you Lee   It's the memories and the good times that we had with them 

I have the little personal things written down (nothing legal but I hope my wishes will be respected). I've also told my kids although I'm not sure if they listen - they go 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shut up' - it's not something anyone likes talking about!

Sorry I can't quote again...Any how Sooz leave nothing to chance,nothing,make everything legal and as clear as water...I know,I am 100% sure ,my dad went thinking his wishes would be adhered too and sadly this has not happened,I hope I will get to see my dad again some day and if /when that happens one brother and I can do so with a clear conscience,as for the rest,including my mother I hope for their sakes St Peter is around to intervene.

"You'd be amazed at how nasty families can be when someone dies and there's money involved"


Cagney you're so right, I've personally known more than once that it happens. My Mother was a Warden at several elderly people's home over time and when she had to inform family members of a death she was shocked at family behaviour in some family members quickly swooping after the news and retrieving all they could before a funeral had even taken place! It also happened when hubby's parents died. My hubby is such a good person and when his parents and other relatives died some family members I observed acted in an obnoxious way to grab all they could whether jewellery that was worth a lot or anything else that also had value, hubby never did that, wouldn't ever enter his mind. Hubby has been cheated of so much over the years financially but he doesn't spend time thinking about it, just accepts that it's happened. I've learnt that I have more problems with injustice than he does!

Well I'm glad I have the family I have that's for sure. My mum's jewelry is still in her jewelry box, ten years later.We do wear some of it on occasion, weddings etc and those that know always comment...
My sister wears dads ring (that we bought him when his wedding ring broke and couldn't be fixed)heart broken he was)) but I have no problem with sister having dad's ring as i know that when my nephew is old enough he'll have it. All the rest of his stuff is still in situ which we will have to sort out someday. We gave people what he wanted, I suppose we had time to ask him and to sort out things. I am glad we made him cash in one of his pensions, he enjoyed it while he could, his money he earned it and,  he couldn't take it with him.
Myself and his nibs have a last man standing on our home and 'home home' will be split between my sisters if I go before them. Sorted.

I watched this last night and i really enjoyed it, my parents always say that everything is sorted and me and my brother will get half each of everything, i always tell them  the same when they bring the subject up, spend the money and enjoy your retirement, you've earned the money you spend it, i would rather have them around than their money


I also thought that both the women came across badly on the show but too be fair i could understand if it's a new marriage that they wouldn't want their part of the house etc to go to their partners children or in one case his stepchildren

Yeah me too Yellow Rose...    that was my problem when my husband was overlooked... it wasn't so much the money, it was that I could see he was a bit hurt (he was the grandchild who really was very fond of his grandfather, used to fly out to visit him in Cananda, and phoned him regularly to talk to him)..    I am miffed on his behalf kinda thing.

I've seen what huge amounts of money can do when wealthy parents pass away...6 years and it's still going on...not pleasant at all...i'm talking millions here and land, and more so...greed from certain family members....

My Parents have drawn a will up already...my two Sisters and I already own half of their house between us on papre, and have done for many years, my Parents still own the other half...they did this incase anything happened to one of them and the other had to go in a home...at least we then have a fighting chance of keeping what they have worked for all their lives before the Government get their greedy paws on it.............

Never saw this but I am going to see if I can get it on catch-up.  Then I can post my opinions.

Ooooh, I have watched this now and what a quandry!  The big issues seem to come from the people who had remarried and where the one partner had no children.  The childless person in each couple had no love for kids did they?    'I'm not having HIS kids getting anything!'  Eeeek.  Tricky tricky tricky...

The first woman who wanted the cat charities to benefit was a tricky one.  I do think that it was an obvious one this one: split it, and wait til both of them die, so that the cats home and 'his' kids get nothing until both people are dead. And then the kids get half and the cats get half... (I think they actually went for that in the end.)  Have to say, in that particular case, I did wonder why this couple are actually together.  They obviously don't trust each other.  And this woman kept saying 'it's my money my money my money.'  Me and my other half never ever say my money my money; we are a unit, and a partnership, and this is how it should be.  This 'my money' attitude from this woman and her family was rather disgraceful.  And again, I re-iterate, I wonder why this couple are together. 

Didnt envy any of them, and I am very glad I don't have to deal with this kind of issue.  Doesnt mean i won't have to in the future though LOL.

I thought the woman who said I don't want my husband's kids to have ANYTHING because they have never worked and 'I have worked all my life for everything' was a bit of a cow and she sounded bitter.  The daughters of her husband (actually I think step daughters but he did raise them...) were 'stay at home mums' and she said I don't want them to have anything as they have never worked; 'all they do is look after the kids!'    Until we dispel the myth that stay at home mums are lazy cows who do sod-all with their lives, we may as well go back to the dark ages.  Just because someone is not in paid employment, does not mean that they don't contribute to society.  And what makes this man's new wife think SHE should be entitled to all of his money over and above her husband's daughters?  And what makes her so sure that she works harder than them?  Just because SHE is in paid employment doesnt make her a better person or 'harder worker' than them and I found her attitude quite offensive

As i said, I do not envy these people.  Jeeez it's true that the money is the root of all evil.  It seems to me that some people are more concerned about how much they're going to get from someone's will, than the fact that their 'loved one' has died.

And I could also tell a tale or two about the disgraceful behaviour of a few people that I know. who behaved like vultures when certain older relatives died in my family... and I am sure everyone on here knows someone like that; a money grabbing leech! 

Thanks Sparkles you've just reminded me the second episode is on tonight, i think it's about a woman with a couple of children and she wants to leave her house to the youngest child and the other siblings aren't happy about

Thanks for bumping this and reminding me it's on tonight... If last's week's programme is anything to go by it will be good for a grrrrrrrrrr

Oh yes.

True colours came out when my dad died. I was heavily pregnant at the time and totally hormonal but made sure they got nothing. My dad had no will. He wasn't ill and planned to live for a few years yet but sadly it never happened. I made sure my mum got the lot. None of us are kids and should have provided for ourselves by now. 

It's on shortly ................I'll be watching. Anyone else?

Me , Soozy

We like the same stuff Baz!

We certainly do Soozy