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Yeah why not, I'm forever setting mine alight.
Hair reeeks when it's burning though.
Hair reeeks when it's burning though.
Leccy, you smoke? Wedding. Over! 
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Leccy, you smoke? Wedding. Over!
I'm being jilted? 
Sorry, can't marry someone who would voluntarily poison themselves? You've let me down, you've let the bridesmaids down but most of all you've let......me down again
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Sorry, can't marry someone who would voluntarily poison themselves? You've let me down, you've let the bridesmaids down but most of all you've let......me down again
Oh no, I'll have to sell your lovely Tesco Value Suit now and Kaytee won't get to use her titfer 
Which selfish bastard voted no? 
Oh, it was me 
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I'm being jilted?
Ah smerk a crafty tab noo n' then Leccy man woman man etc. :lashes:
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Ah smerk a crafty tab noo n' then Leccy man woman man etc. :lashes:
Mr Joe *bats lashes back* I'm fast becoming a forum strumpet 
I'll bat my eyelashes you too ninja-ing about there!
I just set my chest hair alight. It does indeed pong. 
thats not good
I'd rather smoke a haddock if that is okay.
*backs out of fred*Reference:
*backs out of fred*
What are you doing in fred?
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Would you smoke your partners hair?
Only if you managed to find a few strands floating round 
I quite often ignite hubby's nether region hairs, whilst sniffing his chest hair, does that count?
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What are you doing in fred?
Issy if I told you, you'd blush
only in a friction sorta way tho
also backs outta fred
also backs outta fred
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Issy if I told you, you'd blush
So is Fred Reference:
Issy if I told you, you'd blush
So is Fred
Fred is still having counselling...So is Fred
Poor Fred
Fred could't cope with me - I'm too much woman for him 
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Oh no, I'll have to sell your lovely Tesco Value Suit now and Kaytee won't get to use her titfer
*puts the titfertat away*......Reference:
Fred could't cope with me - I'm too much woman for him
I just think using King prawns in that fashion was enough to put any man off.He is still having nightmares and won't go near the fish counter at Waitrose without an escort
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I just think using King prawns in that fashion was enough to put any man off. He is still having nightmares and won't go near the fish counter at Waitrose without an escort
He was but a prawn in my games 
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He was but a prawn in my games
Good cod!I've haddock nuff
Does Fred need a plaice to go?
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Does Fred need a plaice to go?
You'll have to catch him first - he's a slippery eel Reference:
in that fashion
What fashion? Reference:
You'll have to catch him first - he's a slippery eel
As long as he's not a red herring
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Does Fred need a plaice to go?
You'll have to catch him first - he's a slippery eel
He is but a minnow in the ocean of existance.You'll have to catch him first - he's a slippery eel
besides - a good sturgeon could soon sort his problem out.
A reel expert can tackle anything
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A reel expert can tackle anything
I'd throw a line but I'm not very good at fishing, Is anyone else?
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I'd throw a line but I'm not very good at fishing, Is anyone else?
Nah, not bad at the breast stroke though.
I like a nice pair of pollacks.
I wouldn't smoke my own hair, never mind anybody else's.