But of course your are

*Exits thread right*

Slightly off tangent, but I think that anyone who had something to do with Quality, Auditing, HR, NVQ's and other non core wastes of time were annoying.
Since I started working for myself, or to be truthful working for my darling wife whose name escapes me, I can get on with true aspects of work, and leave our rivals to get tied up with such red tape and nonsense.

Red tape n nonesense is nail on hed
We had an Emergency Strategy for Viral Pandemic form to complete recently

Seriously it sed . . .
"Tell us your plan of action to combat staff deaths in the event of a pandemic outbreak in the workplace"
COME OFF IT YOU IDIOTS - jeeeez

Yer gonna need a big garden and a lot of lime Renton.

When I worked part-time at the hospital, we had to attend regular health and safety-type seminars, which were so dreary.  How to lift things properly, etc, and they even brought this fake person in for us to practise CPR on.  The chances of my being called upon (being a receptionist) to resuscitate someone in a hospital full of doctors and nurses were pretty slim.

But at least you could do it now, if required

Honest to gawd Fabby - its just silly


At work we have the worker - the shirker and the guy that knows it all but puts bugger-all into action (yet is very good at hiding)
Anyone have similar?

Managers who introduce a new software program for us to use.  They don't ask the programmer to speak to the actual people who would use this program so it ends up being completely useless, full of bugs and makes our job harder to do resulting in loads of complaints from the users.

I have to put up with one of those.  He has the knack of doing the absolute minimum every day, goes for half hourly fag breaks but yet the manager loves him and thinks the sun shines out of his backside.

A classic !!!11!!!  Foolish managers who attempt to buy off the peg solutions to fix problems which don't exist.

The last time I went on a CPR course (which I'm expected to "update" every six months - as if the heart is going to be somewhere else next time...) I was asked to leave for not taking it seriously enough....

When it was my turn to "resuscitate", they told me the first thing to do is to call for help...so I said "help, help, my plastic dolly isn't breathing"...

lead balloon time...

I have no idea what the op said.

My shifts. 1pm-9pm two weeks out of three, the third one, 8am-4.30pm.
Plus working either Saturday or Sunday day every other weekend, which means twice a month I work a 10-day split with only one day off in the middle.
I get one "normal" weekend every month (ie, both days off) and one 4-day one. By which time, I'm too knackered to do anything with it but sleep. Or catch up on the housework.
Because my shift hours work on a three-week rolling pattern, I can't plan to do anything with my evenings on a regular basis, such as evening classes.

Have you always been a naughty girl then, Sarum?

Naughty? Moi?

I just have a low tolerance for corporate b*llsh*t....

When I did my first aid course I couldn't do the chest compression on the fake baby.  My fingers just bent back, the guy running it (a Dr!) gave me special permission to use my knuckles if I ever need to save a babies life.  But warned the rest of the class not to do it or they'd break its ribs.  Then proceeded to ask me loads of questions about  EDS (me bendiness) coz he'd never heard of it. 

We attend plenty of courses about - wait for it . . . Valuing People, lol
Wot a bloody joke - i value people, its my employer that doesn't ... then they try to tell me how to!!

As much as I like my job - I hate the long drive into work and when I get there having to sit next to Miss Rubber Gob who doesn't shut up all day

What a liberty!

I was doing a temping job in the local council offices last year, and one of the women went on an 'assertiveness training course' offered by the council.  Well, when she came back, she had just learned how to be really really rude to everyone, so she was even more insufferable than she had been before.

Attitudes.
I suffer quite badly from RA and emphysema. I only work part-time, but do need the job. I have a very good sickness record, hardly ever take time off, as my shifts are quite short, and I am of the opinion that surely I can work those few hours, even if I'm feeling quite bad.

So, these past two weeks I've had a bad cold. First week I was on holiday, so it didn't matter. Second week I was back to work, feeling absolutely crud, but it's only a cold right? Yesterday, the start of the third week of this cold, I went in, still feeling lousy, so thought I'd better get myself to the doctor.
I'm supposed to phone 2 hours before my shift if I'm going to be off sick, but didn't phone as I thought the doc would just give me some sudafed or something and I'd be back at work for the start of my shift at 11.15.

Turns out I've got a chest infection and sinusitus, and should have been taking a different inhaler and anti-biotics, as I couldn't manage my usual ones, cos I'd cough before they'd get down to my lungs. She recommended I take the rest of the week off, to give my chest time to recuperate.

Phoned work an hour and a quarter before my shift starts, apologised for being late calling, explained I'd been to the doctor, what I had, and that I wouldn't be in. She shirtyly said you haven't given the 2 hours notice. I said I know, I've just explained. She said do you have a sick note. I said, I didn't think I needed one for the first seven days? She said acidly that's NOT what I asked. Do you have a sick note? I said ok, no.

They seem to forget that we are not automatons, that sometimes we try our best, but these things happen, and we are all human after all. I did apologise right at the start, but I was made to feel 2ft small, and to be honest, I didn't like it.

Sorry for the long rant. I just had to get it off my chest (no pun intended).

Good god! I didn't realise it was quite so long! Sorry.

Re title: Not having any work, I want to work but can't find a job befitting my qualifications, I am willing to take anything within reason and to have company and a reason to get up in the morning and earn money.

When someone asks me to pencil in a date for a wedding and then never e-mails me again It's just rude.

I am not going to tell you what my husband does for a job

When I was 'corporate'....it was all the stupid 'team buiding' weekends which we returned from hating each other more than we did before we went.

Having the same conversation with my Boss over and over again, for days on end...boring!

The girls in another office talking to me on the phone and talking to each other at the same time, it's just bloody rude

The cheeky cow!
You should have said: "And since I've just TOLD you that legally I DON'T have to provide one yet, why are you asking?

why is it the biggest companies always take the longest to pay their bills!

This really happened to my brother...


"So you have not been in employment for a short while"


yes


"Well we have to get you back to work - have you looked on the board"


Yes but there's nothing apporpriate.


"Anything reasonable is appropriate"


What - like working in an abbatior?


"Yes"

One more . . . this is from the original opening post.
I was a t college doing NVQ2
I thought the other people there were ok but ...
I was chatting to one of them and on her file (yes she had written all over her file at the age of 40+) was the statement . . .


"God put me on this Earth for a reason"


FFS !!!

I literally ran away - lol

 Just wondering - since "post menopausal wobble bottoms" shouldn't be on NVQs, and women over 40 shouldn't write on their notebooks:

What - in your 24-year-old wise and informed view - do you believe is appropriate behaviour for them? Going on your vast experience of being that age, naturally..

oh christ i knew a humorous thread wud end like this

Humorous at whose expense? Maybe all those women on your courses think you're the pain in the arse around there.

Is this a humorous thread? I thought it was a ranty one

sigh

Sighs and rolling eyes
Riiiight...