I had K at 24, which was old in comparison to my friends. But had miscarried before that. As you know I'm broody again and I'm 36 now and wondering if I'm too old!

I think it is purely down to the choice of the individual, but I'm not sure about women having children in their late 40's tbh, dont think that would be for me.

I had my first at 26...any earlier wold have been far too young forme....an my last at 36...which wasn fine cos I was much more laid back with him than with the others.....don't think i could have managed one much past 40 though

I think it's easier on the Mummy having kids earlier

I had Aila at 22 and I wouldn't swap it for the world. I have a few friends that had their first in their 40's and they are absolutely knackered and feel like they have no support due to their Mums and Dads being a lot older.

I'm not saying this works for everyone but I always wanted to be a young Mum and I love it!

I agree with some of her points.
We have developed an artificial society, where it is looked down upon to have kids early. I think a lot of women are regretting waiting until they're older and are having infertility problems.

And men don't have to grow up until they're in their thirties or forties now.

I had my first when I was 24 and, twenty years later, I'm still deciding on a career. So, I'm not the best example!

Plus...I dunno that the 'body clock' is set up for careers at all....having a career isn't a biological function is it?

ok, I worded that bit wrong croc

Oh I thought that was what she'd said...I never read the thing...but there is a point because too many women now are not trying for babies till they are past their fertile best (way past) and then moaning and expecting the rest of us to pay for them to have babies cos they were so selfish they wanted it all....well life ain't like that...very few people are able to have it all and you sometimes have to choose....

Aye you have to choose these days between career and kids and hope for the best.

I have never been career minded so it was a no brainer to me. I figure when Aila starts school I can either have another one ( ) or get a part time job. I'll be there to drop her off and pick her up and that's what matters to me But just because that's important to me doesn't mean it is to everyone else and I would never judge.

But I think your early 20's is ideal. Personally I wouldn't have another kid over 30 but that's more to do with me be lazy

I had my first at 18 second at 21........was a nanny by 36......never needed a career due to my wonderful OH .....and to top it all I am as happy as Larry..( whoever Larry is  ......One of my friends however did exactly the same and is as miserable as sin...I think its a case of whatever will be will be!!

Grayson...he was happy!

Shut that bastid door

My mum had me when she was 40  , I am the youngest of 8 so she wasn't lacking in experience..

Mantel says that she was perfectly capable of setting up and running a home when she was 14. Imo she's v much in the minority.

Fair point,
but I'm learning!

I agree

I had my 3  when I was younger ..... I only have my youngest at home now & she's 14 ....  it's lovely   ..... glad I'm not just starting with babies now

Poker Face, do you think she is mature enough to have a baby now, look after it and set up her own home as Mantel is suggesting?

Trust you Bliz!

yep.. its an individual thing.

I was 22, and initially thought I was old enough, then when my daughter was little and my friends were all out having a fab time, with money in their pockets I thought I'd been too young.

Now, I am glad I did it when I was younger, My daughter likes it that I am usually the youngest mum ...   and I am hoping that there will be enough life left in me when the kids have flown the nest, so that I can do some of the things I turned my back on at 22. 

For me... younger or older.. doesn't matter... my own personal nightmare would be to have another baby now.   I prefer to do my breeding & rearing concurrently not consecutively

I very much doubt it. She is very sensible for her age I must admit but as Sue MacDonald pointed out, 14 years olds have enough to cope with just being 14 .... physically mature enough maybe but definitely not psychologically mature enough.

Could we have that in English please !

I tried to have it all...  I juggled the career job, with the two young kids, and the professional development courses etc... 

I then realised the only way I would be able to have both the career and the family would be if I found myself a wife!

MrDitty isn't very Mrs Doubtfire like... hence I gave up on the career for now...  I will think about it all again when I am not in charge of being there for everybody!

I had mine young and I'm glad I did, they have taught me so much....I intend at some point now to definately get some kind of degree course going...I have some stuff to get sorted and then further education is my next plan.

Having been ill having both of them though I cant imagine having been able to have the kids AND a job...plus the diva was a right handful as a baby

yeah... my boy was a screamer... it kinda motivated me out of the door to work each day!

Ello dirtybirdy

The Diva wasnt a screamer, she just never slept, she didnt go through the night until she was at least 6....I'd have been a liability in work

oooh!

My girl (who is my eldest) .. slept a min of 7 hours a night from day 1!

I didn't know what had hit me when I had the boy who barely slept more than two hours at one go and screamed his head off when his eyes were open.

That's men innit...eyes open mouth open

And the other.

I have been blessed with 3 brilliant behaved babies, I was 20 with my first, 28 with my second and 36 with my third. No difference to me this time as when I had my eldest.

I started trying when I was 27 and now I have been lucky enough (at 37) to have a lovely 5 month old baby.  I had to have fertility drugs and five IVF goes (all funded by ourselves - I have yet to meet anyone that has had a free go - where do you get them?!!).  It was a struggle financially and emotionally, but worth it totally in the end.

i had mine at 20 and looking back maybe i was abit young, i had a good job and didn't go back after maternity leave which i regret now but on the other hand i don't thing i could handle having another one now at 36 even though i do get broody

I had Growly Jnr when I was 35, and this was the ideal time for me.  I was able to have the best part of 20 years for my career before I thought about having a baby.  I wouldn't have been emotionally mature enough to have devoted myself to bringing up a baby and motherhood in my early twenties, and we wouldn't have been able to have afforded me to stay at home whilst she was young until we were older.

Karma 36 is certainly not too old, i had my last baby at 39......And i handled it much better, i was much more relaxed than  the earlier ones, anyway who decides what's too old, your body clock will help decide that no-one else......

Wow - and yet no-one calls men selfish for "wanting it all", i.e a career AND family, in the timetable of their choosing.
I'd say, since survey after survey has shown working mothers still shoulder most of the burden for all the domestic stuff - even if they're grafting as many hours outside the home as their fellas - the reality is "doing it all", rather than "having it all".

Its a timetable of natures choosing though..men are able to have kids at any age cos they're not the ones (naturally) that bring them up....women stop being able to have kids at an age when nature decreed they'd be too old to look after them properly.

It's been proven that the quality of men's sperm deteriorates markedly with age, too. Meaning they're not only less fertile, but also more likely to pass on poor genetic traits. Yet no-one carps at older dads - it's always a case of "well done, fella".

I also think, in the 21st century, it's time to stop burdening women with the concept of being the only ones who bring up kids. Why? It's rare these days for families to be able to survive on only one wage - most mothers have to work, it's not a single-minded career decision or a luxury.

Even so, as I've said, they still also take on most of the responsibility for domestic chores and child-rearing - and they are the ones being called selfish?

Its not necessarily about wanting it all either... some people don't meet their partner til later in life

Everything about men deteriorates with age
I know some men are just as capable as women...though they hide it well so as to not be lumbered!

When I talk about women being selfish I was actually thinking about women like an old FM who used to bleat on all the time about not having kids (mentioned it in virtually every post) whilst saying it was because they never found the perfect man and had a high flying career where they lived the life of (to quote BB Paul) an international pop star.

I also think older women having kids artificially in their 50's etc shouldn't be allowed.

I agree with not helping women past the menopause have kids, Croc. Sometimes you have to draw a line.
I'd actually go a step further. Having kids is a choice, not a human right. Therefore - while the NHS is having to refuse cancer patients life-saving drugs because of the cost - I don't think IVF should be available on the NHS. Logically, if you can't afford a course of IVF, how can you afford to bring up a kid?

See we agree on all that Deman....

When my sister was doing her nursing training she helped a consultant run a clinic for women wanting/needing IVF on the NHS...one woman was there demanding IVF cos it had taken her three years to fall pregnant with her child (the two year old she had with her) and she wanted another and didn't want a big gap between them in case it took ages...me sister said she was very pleased to see the consultant tell her to bog off and stop whinging.