Great days, Marge, great days!

much as I dislike your girl Blizz....she did nothing wrong at all in that row etc that I saw on the HLs last night...thought I'd let you know that sometimes I can be fair

Always thought she should be in the final because she's played a blinder. I don't care who wins BB, I hate the whole bloody lot of them now

Aww, cheers Kaytee!

OMG Bliz, what are you going to do if they're both in the 'ultimate big brother'

Oooh, what a dimella!

I am not a huge fan mainly because of her maddening doormat behaviour with JJ1..I also think she needs to stop acting the country bumpkin...she's fooling no one there...

 When she is herself, she is natrually funny, and there are sides to her I've seen this week that I like...I would love to meet her shake her and tell her she is a beautful girl, and she can and will do 10x better than an abusive Wanker like JJ1...But I suspect she already knows that...Josie is not as stupid as she would like people to believe....I do however LOVE  and I mean love the fact she has free pass to the final...CrabEyes is seething...

you're welcome Blizz

Bliz, did you see the stuff where Jose said something like Aisylene had got too big headed and Aisylene commented in the press, can't remember what she said but it wasn't pleasant....they aren't going to be friends!!!

I saw that on BBLB.

Somehow, I think they'll probably end up being the best of friends, if they end up in there together.

Hope you don't mind Bliz, but I've just corrected your typo

Supes!

I hope you're right.

Sorry Tayto but in which universe screaming abuse at a kid who is crying ( and yes Sam is a kid compared to the other's in there) is that EVER right?
He came out worse because he was worse.
He was so bad that they had to get him to the diary room to calm him down.
Sam is an annoying little so and so but he did NOT deserve that,
And I refuse to accept that any Australian would ever act like that.

awww, i am glad that josie is liked by some people. i do like her.

To be fair Isadora...... BB calls them to the diary room whenever there is a row these days. They are being cautious, rather than reacting to the truth of the situation.

Plus Sam did "scream" at him first.

I like the pair of them equally, and I just thought they were as bad as each other that night. <<< random hug cos I lubbs ya.

aww I lubbs you too xxx

Anyway Sam screamed yes - but he did have provacation, That was not a quiet gossip - they were being quite brazen about it all and as I have said before, Sam is not the most mature of individuals.
I think JohnJames should really have acted like the adult and calmed the whole thing down. Instead he just screamed abuse back and that was really horrible to watch,
The one person who appears to have got off (yet again) is Dave.

 He was abusive..end of. Disgraceful display of aggression. Cannot for the life of me understand why he is being tolerated.

Totally agree, he was disgusting, I wanted to knock him out, and I'm a life long pacifist!

Aside from HIM being called to the DR on several occasions this series, who else has had to be called in to *Calm down*?

Plenty of people in past series Lee........ more so in recent ones when BB have had to defend themselves against the "quick phone OFCOM brigade".  I have not said he didn't raise his voice....and I haven't said he was in the right for doing so either, but it's a fact of life that people get het up when they argue. It's common behaviour in the outside world, whether we agree with it or not. It doesn't always mean the person raising their voice doesn't have a valid point, and it doesn't always make them a bully.

See, I don't agree. Anger does not automatically make it abuse.

He was angry..end of.

Awww Ducky darling..
Whilst I completely uphold your right to defend JJ, the guy is an out and out bully... take it from one who knows 

Isadora. It's very difficult to reply to something like that.

All I can say is I've seen bullies in action before too......and I just don't agree.

I think this sums up John James pretty well - feel free to challenge though. It is from a book by a Patricia Evans about controlling behaviour and emotional abuse.

. Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.

2. Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.

3. Discounting--a putdown of you or something you hold dear.

4. Blocking and diverting--this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.

5. Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner's intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.

6. Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.

7. Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a "so-called joke" is mean rather than funny.

8. Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.

9. Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.

10. Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some "weakness of mind."

11. Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to "blow up," to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.

12. Threatening: Physical threats and sexual threats aside, verbal threats are an effort at manipulation. For example, a threat to leave, stay out all night, or take you home immediately is a manipulation for power. The threat of "pending disaster" is designed to shatter the partner's serenity as well as her boundaries.

 

If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, "You're going into one of your tirades again," or "You're much too sensitive," or "You're just trying to start a fight" or "You don't have a sense of humor."


Now if any of you have the wherewithall to read this, perhaps you can recognise John James in this. I have seen him demonstrate most of these behaviours...

To make sure I can't be acused of blind devotion.....

I do agree with this. His mercurial nature is one of the things I like to watch about him but also annoys me at the same time. He does get angry too quickly sometimes.

Sam acted pretty childishly too though......... he's only young but IS very immature. JJ2 said something that shocked me that night actually. He pointed out that Sam was only two years younger than himself. It  brought home to me that he really does act like a naughty te year old! (kinda love him for it though )

I defy anyone to never have exhibited some of those behaviours ever in their lives. I think a list like that is actually very dangerous.


Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.

That line in particular worries me a lot. Not that in a literal sense it isn't true....... but life isn't that black and white. I think the word "abuse" needs as careful handling as the term "bully",  to stop those who truly suffer at it's hands being trivialise.

No one in that house is being abused!

agree ducky. i think that sam is fairly harmless but yes he is very childish and is more like my wee brother (when he was about 7 or 8) some of the time. he is very annoying at times and plays daft pranks but gets real upset if someone snaps and has a go a him for being a buffoon. i think he probably has a good heart but is very very childish, and his behavior is a bit irrational and unusual sometimes imo. i have to say that i find it hard to defend him, as he brings it on himself . sorry samfans.  that said John james was a bit ranty and shoudve taken into account that sam is unusually immature for his age.

I agree He seems surprised when his comments upset people, but he needs to learn. As he gets older people will be far less tolerant of it. He's only going to get away with the naughty little bro act for so many years.



On that we agree too.

I agree that the list is a little black and white but to be fair I have just quoted from it.
I think that we will have to agree to disagree. I have lived with these behaviours, he does demonstrate them believe me...
He IS a bully and I am not trivialising tthe word - I would never use that word if I did not think it true,

lol ducky.  yes i think that to be fair, sam is a little brat who is a pain in the arse but is harmless and has a good heart and john James is pretty ok too,  but couldve perhaps handled the situation better, as sam is really immature, and he shouldve taken that into account, because he did yell a bit  much

We're never going to agree Isadora, we knew that a long time ago now. All behaviour traits are on a continous spectrum, just because someone demonstrates certain ones sometimes, it doesn't automatically make them the full on real deal, that's all I'm saying.  John James is a mardi so and so, but I don't believe he's a bully.

I hate that he makes you feel bad though.

She the best of a bad bunch.

Do you know what Ducky?
I absolutely hope that you are right because it is horrible for one so young to be so miserable.


Teehee - look at us debating and such in a civilised fashion
hang on...

YOU JJ LOVER 's  ARE ALL FOUL AND BULLEHS

Phew..... pride restored.,

YOU JJ HATERS ARE ALL JUST FUGLY OLDIES,  JELLUS OF HIS GOOD LOOKS




Innit?

How do you get those banner smilies?

she has been itching to use that smiley!!!

(but too scared to until now)

Here you go Isadora ..... http://www.freesmileys.org/custom/

Use it for good not evil

there are loads of sites that do them Isadora (just google custom smileys)...

I tend to use this one..    http://www.freesmileys.org/custom/

That's not true!

I used it once............. I was then told in no uncertain terms that John James was an ugly shoite.

oooh   snap!