i also laugh when im nervous

Something I regretted the morning after.

I've never been drunk let alone done anything wrong

.

.

Well it was worth a shot or two

I've posted mine before... it involves MiL's floor and having her wash my hair in a mop bucket

i missed that

tell us again

and go on

what did u do?

youre not gonna tell us are ya?

I'm not posting the worst...but lately staying at a friends and drinking copious amounts of Cocktails, wine and champagne... crawling to bed at 2.30 and wandering into her 20 something sons bedroom 

oooh MILF

I planted 62 begonias in a protogeometric pattern on the local bowling green.

I basically drank waaaaay too much white wine on a new years day cos i actually wanted red but FiL had opened 2 bottles of white, so i thought if we finished the white i could ask for the next one to be red......... (seriously flawed logic i know) i then tipped one of her brand new dining chairs back and was taken to the conservatory to sleep it off a bit........

A little while later they found me in pool of so they (fella. SiL and MiL) pretty much stripped me off cleaned me up and washed my hair in a mop bucket........

And i can not believe I've just shared that very... in fact probably my most embarrassing story ever.

poor lad...I bet he thought it was a nightmare 

most of us have done it Jen...its great when you become immune 

That has made me miss an old forum friend who used to love reminding me of that story and laughing

You can become immune to booze?!?!

I never throw it back up now Jen...what I drink stays down 

Actually that was years ago and i'm pretty much the same now.

 I remember you telling us about The Carpenters incident.

A friend and myself climbed into an old graveyard and lay down on a couple of old tombs and made ghostly noises. My friend fell asleep and I left him there

He was not too pleased the next day... (AKA James)

You laugh, but there is a mob of 70-80 years olds hunting me down, they are relentless. I have moved home 12 times in the intervening years. Every knock on the door has me wondering if I will be met by a group of elderly vigilantes. It's no life, on the run. My only hope is I can out live them. I'm currently looking at a little place in Bolivia, I'm sure the pension won't stretch to flights that far.

Haha i bet he wasn't

Great thread idea Pirate  I await the confessions...

One night I spent ages angrily trying the front door key, before finally realising I was at the wrong house.  

can't tell you the actual worst as its too awful 

*is intrigued now* :ninaj:

I did come home on a milk van once at 5pm, we knew him well and he picked me and my ex up. he said we were leaning so much we were actually keeping each other upright  Not long after he picked up one of my daughters at silly o'clock in the same state, he reckons she has my genes 

Completely, thoroughly made a show of myself and I wince at the memory... thats all I'll say 

Move along! 

 Thats a great one Dame  

Years and years ago Mr Woo decided to take up boxing. He was a very late starter (about 27 or 28). His first fight was a 'dinner do'. He was incredibly nervous as was I - my friend and I went along but it was a very 'man only' do.

I got absolutely plastered ......the Mayor had taken a shine to my friend and I and was buying us drinks at the bar. He was obnoxious and so up his own @rse talking of all his 'charidee' work and how much it actually cost him to be Mayor - I was making faces behind his back to try and make my friend laugh. Before long he just walked off and seemed a bit huffy 'disgruntled'. It was then I realised there was a HUGE mirror behind the bar

Ended up throwing up in the toilets and sleeping on the bathroom floor at home. Poor old Mr Woo was battered and bruised (he lost) - and his drunken wife was incapable of looking after him and consoling him.

Was wearing an Estee Lauder perfume that night called 'Private Collection' - as I was so sick the smell of that perfume always reminds me and I've never been able to wear it since. Still managed to drink white wine though

Soozy and Joe

Let me guess was is 'If I had a hammer?'

Love all the stories here, but this made me howl  I'd love to travel home in the first light on the back of a milk float. 

Mine involves jumping off a bridge in to a river in just my underwear, which then made the front page of the local free paper (I'm a stubborn cow when it comes to being dared) but I've never been ashamed about that because I was young, however I'd have kittens if any of kids did that when they were paralytic!

A more recent one (again another dare) was travelling across London after hailing a cab with a big black dildo that I'd won in a Gay Caberet Club bingo night. It was second prize for 2 lines, first prize and full house was a week in Sitges. I was gutted about missing the first prize but happily re-gifted the dildo to a very appreciative friend that year 

I can't think of anything too bad that I've done when drunk.  I get drunk a lot so you'd think there'd be a few stories but no, nothing out of the ordinary .  

How the other half live - A Gay Caberet Club Bingo Night - I'm dead jealous ..........that sounds bloody brilliant!!

Currently we have the Ladyboys of Bankok camped in a local park putting on shows each night - I have resisted the temptation to buy a ticket.

   @ Soozy  

    @Suzy - Wow you've had some wild nights out!