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I basically drank waaaaay too much white wine on a new years day cos i actually wanted red but FiL had opened 2 bottles of white, so i thought if we finished the white i could ask for the next one to be red......... (seriously flawed logic i know) i then tipped one of her brand new dining chairs back and was taken to the conservatory to sleep it off a bit........

 

A little while later they found me in pool of so they (fella. SiL and MiL) pretty much stripped me off cleaned me up and washed my hair in a mop bucket........

 

And i can not believe I've just shared that very... in fact probably my most embarrassing story ever.

Jen-Star
Last edited by Jen-Star
Originally Posted by pirate1111:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:

 

 

I'm not posting the worst...but lately staying at a friends and drinking copious amounts of Cocktails, wine and champagne... crawling to bed at 2.30 and wandering into her 20 something sons bedroom 

oooh MILF

 

poor lad...I bet he thought it was a nightmare 

Dame_Ann_Average
Last edited by Dame_Ann_Average
Originally Posted by Jenstar:

I basically drank waaaaay too much white wine on a new years day cos i actually wanted red but FiL had opened 2 bottles of white, so i thought if we finished the white i could ask for the next one to be red......... (seriously flawed logic i know) i then tipped one of her brand new dining chairs back and was taken to the conservatory to sleep it off a bit........

 

A little while later they found me in pool of so they (fella. SiL and MiL) pretty much stripped me off cleaned me up and washed my hair in a mop bucket........

 

And i can not believe I've just shared that very... in fact probably my most embarrassing story ever.

Scotty
Originally Posted by Jenstar:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Jenstar:

 

 

And i can not believe I've just shared that very... in fact probably my most embarrassing story ever.

 

 

most of us have done it Jen...its great when you become immune 

You can become immune to booze?!?!

 

 

I never throw it back up now Jen...what I drink stays down 

Dame_Ann_Average
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Jenstar:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Jenstar:

 

 

And i can not believe I've just shared that very... in fact probably my most embarrassing story ever.

 

 

most of us have done it Jen...its great when you become immune 

You can become immune to booze?!?!

 

 

I never throw it back up now Jen...what I drink stays down 

 

Actually that was years ago and i'm pretty much the same now.

Jen-Star
Originally Posted by Scotty:
Originally Posted by Enthusiastic Contrafibularities:

 

I planted 62 begonias in a protogeometric pattern on the local bowling green.

 

 

 

You laugh, but there is a mob of 70-80 years olds hunting me down, they are relentless. I have moved home 12 times in the intervening years. Every knock on the door has me wondering if I will be met by a group of elderly vigilantes. It's no life, on the run. My only hope is I can out live them. I'm currently looking at a little place in Bolivia, I'm sure the pension won't stretch to flights that far.

 

Enthusiastic Contrafibularities
Originally Posted by moonie:
Originally Posted by Roger the Alien (fka noseyrosie):

Great thread idea Pirate  I await the confessions...

 

One night I spent ages angrily trying the front door key, before finally realising I was at the wrong house.  

 

can't tell you the actual worst as its too awful 

*is intrigued now* :ninaj:

Completely, thoroughly made a show of myself and I wince at the memory... thats all I'll say 

 

Move along! 

FM
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:

 

 

I did come home on a milk van once at 5pm, we knew him well and he picked me and my ex up. he said we were leaning so much we were actually keeping each other upright  Not long after he picked up one of my daughters at silly o'clock in the same state, he reckons she has my genes 

 Thats a great one Dame  

FM

Years and years ago Mr Woo decided to take up boxing. He was a very late starter (about 27 or 28). His first fight was a 'dinner do'. He was incredibly nervous as was I - my friend and I went along but it was a very 'man only' do.

 

I got absolutely plastered ......the Mayor had taken a shine to my friend and I and was buying us drinks at the bar. He was obnoxious and so up his own @rse talking of all his 'charidee' work and how much it actually cost him to be Mayor - I was making faces behind his back to try and make my friend laugh. Before long he just walked off and seemed a bit huffy 'disgruntled'. It was then I realised there was a HUGE mirror behind the bar

 

Ended up throwing up in the toilets and sleeping on the bathroom floor at home. Poor old Mr Woo was battered and bruised (he lost) - and his drunken wife was incapable of looking after him and consoling him.

 

Was wearing an Estee Lauder perfume that night called 'Private Collection' - as I was so sick the smell of that perfume always reminds me and I've never been able to wear it since. Still managed to drink white wine though

Soozy Woo
Originally Posted by Yogi19:
Originally Posted by pirate1111:

me

was singing a carpenters song in the garden & getting arrested

also jumping over a wall

i thought it was a little drop it was about 10-15ft

and ive said very inappropriate things at the wrong time/place

funerals usually

 I remember you telling us about The Carpenters incident.

Let me guess was is 'If I had a hammer?'

Soozy Woo
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:

 

 

I did come home on a milk van once at 5pm, we knew him well and he picked me and my ex up. he said we were leaning so much we were actually keeping each other upright  Not long after he picked up one of my daughters at silly o'clock in the same state, he reckons she has my genes 

Love all the stories here, but this made me howl  I'd love to travel home in the first light on the back of a milk float. 

 

Mine involves jumping off a bridge in to a river in just my underwear, which then made the front page of the local free paper (I'm a stubborn cow when it comes to being dared) but I've never been ashamed about that because I was young, however I'd have kittens if any of kids did that when they were paralytic!

 

A more recent one (again another dare) was travelling across London after hailing a cab with a big black dildo that I'd won in a Gay Caberet Club bingo night. It was second prize for 2 lines, first prize and full house was a week in Sitges. I was gutted about missing the first prize but happily re-gifted the dildo to a very appreciative friend that year 

suzybean
Originally Posted by suzybean:
 

A more recent one (again another dare) was travelling across London after hailing a cab with a big black dildo that I'd won in a Gay Caberet Club bingo night. It was second prize for 2 lines, first prize and full house was a week in Sitges. I was gutted about missing the first prize but happily re-gifted the dildo to a very appreciative friend that year 

Jen-Star

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