quote:

Originally posted by Senora Reyes:
No you're a bloody brilliant parent! I wouldn't send my daughter(If I had one) either.


Kudos to you

quote:

she hasn't got a passport so my decision is final anyway

quote:

Originally posted by Syd:
No......she will hate you, but she will be safe....xx

(how old is she?)

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by Senora Reyes:
No you're a bloody brilliant parent! I wouldn't send my daughter(If I had one) either.


Kudos to you

you don't think i'm being nasty then?

quote:

Originally posted by Skylark24:
dfficult one Aimee, your daughters 13 is that right? why not a compromise like a weekend away first to see if he is responsible enough to take her abroad? at least she would be in this Country if it didnt work out and you could collect her if she wanted to come home

quote:

Originally posted by erinp:
Your are not being nasty,you are simply putting your childs interests first,she may not like it but she will just have to suck it up.
Her father should know better than to take her away with a guy that has caused her upset in the past.

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
Daughters dad has phoned her and asked her to go to spain on holiday with him and her half bro in september, he phoned her on Monday to tell her that he had left half bro's mum *doesn't like responsibility if you ask me* daughter is happy about that as she has never liked her, anyway my first concern is he is a crap dad, his fathers day present is still sitting here, as he has been too busy going on a bender after his split and he would probably get drunk and leave daughter somewhere

and

second he has now found a new mate, who is also going on this holiday, a bloke i went out with a couple of years ago that when i finished it, he broke my bedroom window trying to get in to speak to me and then tried breaking my door in, it took 4 coppers to arrest him, frightened me and my my daughter half to death

daughter can remember all of this and hates the bloke, but wouldlike to go on holiday, i have said no and now i am the bad parent

she hasn't got a passport so my decision is final anyway

would you have let her go?

quote:

Originally posted by erinp:
Your are not being nasty,you are simply putting your childs interests first,she may not like it but she will just have to suck it up.
Her father should know better than to take her away with a guy that has caused her upset in the past.

quote:

Originally posted by fz:
Look at it this way....if you didnt know these two men (ex hubby and his mate) would you trust either enough to employ as a childminder? If the answer is no, then you made the right decision.

It's really soon after his split from new wife/partner, so may be fuelled by all the wrong reasons, especially as he is taking their son away too....I'll show her I can cope/have a good time scenario.

Bribe daughter....13 yr old girls are easily swayed ..clothes/holiday anything really...sure she'll think you are the mother from hell at the moment....but as said above, she'll be safe. She'll get over it.

If ex hubby proves himself reliable and trustworthy over a period of time, then holidays can be planned in the future.

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by fz:
Look at it this way....if you didnt know these two men (ex hubby and his mate) would you trust either enough to employ as a childminder? If the answer is no, then you made the right decision.

It's really soon after his split from new wife/partner, so may be fuelled by all the wrong reasons, especially as he is taking their son away too....I'll show her I can cope/have a good time scenario.

Bribe daughter....13 yr old girls are easily swayed ..clothes/holiday anything really...sure she'll think you are the mother from hell at the moment....but as said above, she'll be safe. She'll get over it.

If ex hubby proves himself reliable and trustworthy over a period of time, then holidays can be planned in the future.

this is the way i see it too, i wouldn't trust him to look after my bedding plants, let alone my daughter she's nearly 15 btw, he doesn't even pay child support so he's not exactly a caring parent

quote:

Originally posted by slimfern:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
Daughters dad has phoned her and asked her to go to spain on holiday with him and her half bro in september, he phoned her on Monday to tell her that he had left half bro's mum *doesn't like responsibility if you ask me* daughter is happy about that as she has never liked her, anyway my first concern is he is a crap dad, his fathers day present is still sitting here, as he has been too busy going on a bender after his split and he would probably get drunk and leave daughter somewhere

and

second he has now found a new mate, who is also going on this holiday, a bloke i went out with a couple of years ago that when i finished it, he broke my bedroom window trying to get in to speak to me and then tried breaking my door in, it took 4 coppers to arrest him, frightened me and my my daughter half to death

daughter can remember all of this and hates the bloke, but wouldlike to go on holiday, i have said no and now i am the bad parent

she hasn't got a passport so my decision is final anyway

would you have let her go?

Definitely not...
could you not take her away for a few days instead..

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by Skylark24:
dfficult one Aimee, your daughters 13 is that right? why not a compromise like a weekend away first to see if he is responsible enough to take her abroad? at least she would be in this Country if it didnt work out and you could collect her if she wanted to come home

i don't mind him taking her away, if it was just him and her half bro, but to me it just seems like a piss up and daughter is the un paid babysitter

she can't see where i'm coming from though, she hasn't seen him for 6 weeks now, no phone calls or anything up until now, she can call him all the names under the sun, but if i do i'm in the wrong

quote:

Originally posted by KeenViewer:
Absolutely no way! You are totally right, who knows what he's capable of? Better to deal with it now as you are, rather than regret it later. Well done!

quote:

Originally posted by mozart:
if i wasnt sure that my daughter was his upper most priority then i would be reluctant to let her go.

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
......would you have let her go?

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by slimfern:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
Daughters dad has phoned her and asked her to go to spain on holiday with him and her half bro in september, he phoned her on Monday to tell her that he had left half bro's mum *doesn't like responsibility if you ask me* daughter is happy about that as she has never liked her, anyway my first concern is he is a crap dad, his fathers day present is still sitting here, as he has been too busy going on a bender after his split and he would probably get drunk and leave daughter somewhere

and

second he has now found a new mate, who is also going on this holiday, a bloke i went out with a couple of years ago that when i finished it, he broke my bedroom window trying to get in to speak to me and then tried breaking my door in, it took 4 coppers to arrest him, frightened me and my my daughter half to death

daughter can remember all of this and hates the bloke, but wouldlike to go on holiday, i have said no and now i am the bad parent

she hasn't got a passport so my decision is final anyway

would you have let her go?

Definitely not...
could you not take her away for a few days instead..

thats what i'm thinking of doing i'm just going to have to get used to being ignored for the next couple of days

quote:

Originally posted by DanceSettee:
God no!! Let her go away with a man that has proved himself violent in the past...I don't bloody well think so

If you were the type of fool that would allow this...I'd be phoning social services myself....you did the right thing ...put up with her moaning knowing you are an excellent mother for saying no

quote:

Originally posted by Deegs:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
......would you have let her go?

Are you kidding? Not in this lifetime!

You wouldn't have known a moment's peace worrying your guts out about her. And with good reason, from what you're saying about her flaky Dad.

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by mozart:
if i wasnt sure that my daughter was his upper most priority then i would be reluctant to let her go.

thats my problem, he knows nothing about the girl except her name and D.O.B and then he'd probably spell her name wrong

quote:

Originally posted by Nana Lou:
Aimee
If I were you, I would remind daughter of the mate's violence and tell her you are concerned in case he was violent towards her whilst away from home.
Don't tell her that you are worried in case her dad just wants her as a baby sitter. Tell her that if it were just her dad, half brother and her going, that you wouldn't be nearly so worried.

Maybe if she thinks you're not getting at her dad, she might accept it better

quote:

Originally posted by Soozy woo:
tell him that you're daughter hasn't got a passport and leave it up to him ....if he is bothered about going through all the rigmarole of getting her a passport .............then - think again.

put the ball into his court .......then he cannot blame you.

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by mozart:
if i wasnt sure that my daughter was his upper most priority then i would be reluctant to let her go.

thats my problem, he knows nothing about the girl except her name and D.O.B and then he'd probably spell her name wrong

Sorry Aimee, but you, at a presumably older age than your daughter, mada a decision to have a relationship with both of these guys and to have a child with one of them. Good on you if you are trying to protect her now, but it must be a bit confusing for her

quote:

Originally posted by Soozy woo:
sounds like a complete idiot ,,,,it'd probably come to nothing anyway. tell him that you're daughter hasn't got a passport and leave it up to him ....if he is bothered about going through all the rigmarole of getting her a passport .............then - think again.

put the ball into his court .......then he cannot blame you.

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:
i've left her and i'm sleeping on a mates floor, daughter *my poor dad* yeah right, i already know his new g/friends name