What should I do about my bush?

Topics

Åŗтγмαģš

I have a problem and I need advice.

Years ago I bought a little tiny bay tree from a garden centre which I planted out. It grew into a fine big thick bush and it has moved house with me a couple of times. I brought it to the house I am living in now when I got married. I am very proud of it and my husband likes my bush nearly as much as I do and all our friends admire it.

My problem is this -
last week a gardener came to tidy up my garden because it had got a bit out of hand. However he trimmed my bush most drastically while he was here, without even asking my permission.
I never noticed him doing it and my husband was out playing golf when it happened.

Now my bush looks all sparse and straggly and I feel quite ashamed of it.
My husband was most upset when he saw it.
He really used to like it being thick and luxuriant. He says it's hardly worth having now.

I agree with him too, because I used to pull bits off it when I was cooking and drop them in a casserole to add flavour, but now there's hardly enough to pull off any more.

Also my little pussy used to keep dry underneath it when it was raining and keep cool under it when the weather was hot and sunny. It's no good at all to my poor pussy now.

I know it will grow again but that's not the point.
What should I say to gardener about my bush?

He took it into his own hands to do that.

Should I refuse to pay him for making so free with my bush when my mind was on other things?

Any suggestions anyone?

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Evie~lutionMember

not read it all but i suggest a brazilian

7/4/096:34 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Evie~lution:

not read it all but i suggest a brazilian

Can I get one of those from the garden centre?

Do you think my gardener will know how to tend it?

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

**:•.♥•♫♥.•° ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪ ♫°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ ♫°•.♥.°•:*¨¨*:•.♥♪♫°•°.♥.•°•.♥♫♥.•:**
.................................................

7/4/096:36 AM

Evie~lutionMember

quote:
Originally posted by Artymags:

Can I get one of those from the garden centre?

Do you think my gardener will know how to tend it?

i think with a little special instruction and a lot of care he will be able to tend to it just fine......i believe keeping the moisture levels high is the key to satisfactory growth

missed ya arty x

7/4/096:39 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

Thanks Evie!

I remonstrated with the gardener in question and he suggests getting rid of my bush altogether and erecting a small greenhouse there instead.

Do you think the gardener's erection will make up for it?

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

7/4/096:44 AM

Evie~lutionMember

the erection will be fine for a temporary distraction, but i have met few gardeners who are able guarentee them for a sustainable lenght of time babe

7/4/096:52 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Evie~lution:
the erection will be fine for a temporary distraction, but i have met few gardeners who are able guarentee them for a sustainable lenght of time babe

Perhaps you are right. However the gardener did point out that it would be useful to grow the more unusual vegetables in.
He knows I am fond of Indian food and he suggested using such an erection to grow Indian vegetables such as Okra (otherwise known as "Ladies' fingers".)

He said he thought ladies' fingers would be very nice round his erection and I am inclined to agree with him.

I was going to suggest a bed with sweet William in it too.

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

7/4/097:01 AM

Evie~lutionMember

i do see you point also would an erection also be benificial to the production of herbs?....i always found cummin a fascinating produce

7/4/097:14 AM

SharMember

quote:
Originally posted by Artymags:

Should I refuse to pay him for making so free with my bush when my mind was on other things?

Declare the bush out of bounds from now on ...

7/4/097:21 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Shar:
quote:
Originally posted by Artymags:

Should I refuse to pay him for making so free with my bush when my mind was on other things?

Declare the bush out of bounds from now on ...

Excellent advice.
I am not going to allow him to remove my bush.
My pussy would have nothing to hide under....

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

7/4/099:29 AM

SydMember 10 years

Could you send your gardener around to my house please....I have a pri.ckly bush that brings me out in a rash that needs cutting back....

7/4/0910:12 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Evie~lution:
i do see you point also would an erection also be beneficial to the production of herbs?....i always found cummin a fascinating produce

Now I don't care for it much. I hate the flavour and find it unpleasant to swallow.

Besides, as a produce it is hard to control. Shoots everywhere.......

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

7/4/0910:30 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Syd:
Could you send your gardener around to my house please....I have a pr1cklly bush that brings me out in a rash that needs cutting back....

I'll try to arrange something.

When would you have an opening for him?

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

7/4/0910:33 AM

SydMember 10 years

quote:
Originally posted by Artymags:

I'll try to arrange something.

When would you have an opening for him?

Thanks, I'll check with my hubby to see when I can fit him in....

7/4/0910:38 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Syd:
quote:
Originally posted by Artymags:

I'll try to arrange something.

When would you have an opening for him?

Thanks, I'll check with my hubby to see when I can fit him in....

Good idea - your hubby might be able to help.

At least he could make sure you got a good forking as well.

7/4/0910:52 AM

Mike StrutterMember

Lets not beat about the bush , I think you should get rid of it and get a wet area you may get moorcocks coming there then ..

7/4/0911:07 AM

SharMember

Wondered how long it would take you to find this thread Mike ...

7/4/0911:11 AM

Mike StrutterMember

Shar

Well I have had my exploring fingers in a few bushes over the years , it would seem rude not to delve my nose in one here ..

7/4/0911:18 AM

ProggersMember

Fnarr fnarr!

I enjoy beating around the bush from time to time.

7/4/0912:01 PM

ProggersMember

How about letting some beavers dwell around your bush?

7/4/0912:02 PM

SydMember 10 years

quote:
Originally posted by Proggers:
How about letting some beavers dwell around your bush?

You would have to have to have a River/Stream near your bush....Beavers love to stop the flow.....Dam......

7/4/0912:07 PM

Mike StrutterMember

Oh you got to keep the area wet and damp as it attracts all kinds then,
you will have certainly have many wild things coming there ...
be aware you might get many flocking there and wanting a sniff about

7/4/0912:12 PM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Mike Strutter:
Oh you got to keep the area wet and damp as it attracts all kinds then,
you will have certainly have many wild things coming there ...
be aware you might get many flocking there and wanting a sniff about

Do you think I might even get a cockatoo?

7/4/0912:23 PM

Mike StrutterMember

Maybe Hubbie would enjoy sharing your wet area with a few Blackbirds ??
and if you got a fox lapping away down there it would be so good...
You could hope for a few tits dipping in your wet area too...
I bet it would excite you immensely having many coming your way ,
I would watch out for the thrush though as they are a bugger to get rid off,

7/4/0912:36 PM

ProggersMember

This thread is hilarious!

'ooh Matron!'

7/4/091:04 PM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Mike Strutter:

I would watch out for the thrush though as they are a bugger to get rid off,

Indeed.
However I am thankful I don't live near the beach where I might also have problems with crabs.

7/4/091:08 PM

Mike StrutterMember

I would watch it ...Hubbie might bring a few crabs home an then infest the wet area ,
he thinks its no big deal , he has been routing around other wet areas as usual ...
Men Eh

He thought your screams as you found the area infested would be a laugh ...

obv its not

you got to pick them out and throw them over next doors garden ....
just wait til the neighbours barbie is finished ...

anyway once you are clean the wet areas nice an not dirty ...
lets get a few birds there and Im sure a few local hot pussies would be there licking away ..

7/4/091:33 PM

TattyMember

ahh i miss my garden, at one point there was a magpie, and that used to steal the odd bit here and there when i was not about. unfortunately my pussy also got that one, like the others.

i did think i should maybe get a gardener in, and i did once, but his rates were not acceptable,and i told him so, he then came down a bit, so i tried him once, and i am afraid, i had much the same problem as you did, took way too much off in one go, i think its a bit like hairdressing, once they get there hands on you they get scissor happy, of something, and before you know it, you stand back in pure shock and horror.

i would much rather if you have these people in, they take there time, and think of what you would appreciate, after all you have to live with it, and if it not acceptable, what do you do?

thank you for the insight of your gardening mess

7/4/092:27 PM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tatty:

i would much rather if you have these people in, they take there time, and think of what you would appreciate, after all you have to live with it, and if it not acceptable, what do you do?

thank you for the insight of your gardening mess

I appreciate you concern, Tatty.
I agree that that in order to give real satisfaction one's gardener should fork slowly and thoroughly and take his time and never try to rush it and finish too early.

However I feel that my bush has been trimmed far TOO thoroughly for my liking. There is just not enough left for use in cooking any more. My hubby especially liked to taste a bit of it occasionally and now he is very disappointed.

7/4/092:38 PM

SharMember

7/4/092:44 PM

TattyMember

quote:
Originally posted by Artymags:
quote:
Originally posted by Tatty:

i would much rather if you have these people in, they take there time, and think of what you would appreciate, after all you have to live with it, and if it not acceptable, what do you do?

thank you for the insight of your gardening mess

I appreciate you concern, Tatty.
I agree that that in order to give real satisfaction one's gardener should fork slowly and thoroughly and take his time and never try to rush it and finish too early.

However I feel that my bush has been trimmed far TOO thoroughly for my liking. There is just not enough left for use in cooking any more. My hubby especially liked to taste a bit of it occasionally and now he is very disappointed.

yes that will always cause a problem, especially when trying to keep hubby pleased as well, i think you should get the gardener and your hubby in the same room, so they can get all the frustrations out of the way with you, the out come may surprise you

7/4/092:51 PM

Ensign MufMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tatty:

yes that will always cause a problem, especially when trying to keep hubby pleased as well, i think you should get the gardener and your hubby in the same room, so they can get all the frustrations out of the way with you, the out come may surprise you

This is correct, you cannot beat a spit roast in the garden on a lovely summers evening

7/4/092:59 PM

TattyMember

quote:
Originally posted by mufcdiver:
quote:
Originally posted by Tatty:

yes that will always cause a problem, especially when trying to keep hubby pleased as well, i think you should get the gardener and your hubby in the same room, so they can get all the frustrations out of the way with you, the out come may surprise you
This is correct, you cannot beat a spit roast in the garden on a lovely summers evening

exactly, but everything must be handled with the utmost care, as my husband ran off with the gardeners girlfriend not long after i did this, so you have to make sure that everyone knows where the boundries are

as it does start to confuse the issue.

7/4/093:04 PM

Ensign MufMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tatty:

exactly, but everything must be handled with the utmost care, as my husband ran off with the gardeners girlfriend not long after i did this, so you have to make sure that everyone knows where the boundries are as it does start to confuse the issue.

The poor Gardener *sobs* He must miss her dearly

7/4/093:08 PM

TattyMember

quote:
Originally posted by mufcdiver:
quote:
Originally posted by Tatty:

exactly, but everything must be handled with the utmost care, as my husband ran off with the gardeners girlfriend not long after i did this, so you have to make sure that everyone knows where the boundries are as it does start to confuse the issue.

The poor Gardener *sobs* He must miss her dearly

maybe, but i came the better, out of it all

7/4/093:16 PM

Mike StrutterMember

Way to much info ...

Back ON gardening...

I want to get my fingers and nose in your wet patch an I bet it smells great ???

7/4/093:27 PM

Ensign MufMember

quote:
Originally posted by Mike Strutter:

Back ON gardening...

I suggest you change your gardener to a female and replace your 'Bush' with a nice lettuce patch..SNAP!! * shoe-horn fails under pressure exerted trying to 'shoe-horn' ' salad muncher' into 'fred

7/4/093:43 PM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

Many thanks everyone for your kind and useful suggestions regarding the lamentable state of my bush.
It seems that the general opinion is that wetness, warmth, loving care, a little fertilization and a vigorous forking around are the key to success in this area.

I have discussed the problem and all your suggestions with my hubby and we have come to a decision.
We have sacked the present gardener and rejected his suggestion of an erection on the site.

However my husband does not feel capable of tackling the job on his own so we have engaged the services of Mr. Patel – the local handy man – to help.
Mr. Patel comes highly recommended by most of the single and widowed ladies in the area – and those whose husbands are often away for long periods of time or just not capable of doing a really good professional job themselves.

They say Mr. Patel gives every satisfaction and can turn his hand to anything.
Apparently he has proved especially useful where a D.I.Y. job has turned out disastrous.
Although not a professional gardener Mr. Patel has had quite a lot of experience in the field.
He speaks very warmly of a perfumed garden that he learned a lot from, back home in India.
He has also got a good array of implements including a very large tool that he assures me will be perfect for the job.

He is eager to make an immediate start and wants to come this afternoon.

He has asked me to let him in at the back entrance ……

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

**:•.♥•♫♥.•° ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪ ♫°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ ♫°•.♥.°•:*¨¨*:•.♥♪♫°•°.♥.•°•.♥♫♥.•:**
.................................................

7/5/093:04 AM

SharMember

I'd be ever so grateful if you could forward his details on to me when you've finished with him ...

7/5/094:55 AM

ÅŗтγмαģšMember

quote:
Originally posted by Shar:

I'd be ever so grateful if you could forward his details on to me when you've finished with him ...

I will be happy to - although, if he turns out to be as good as they say, I shall try to persuade him to to come on a regular basis - at least once a week.
I believe my bush would benefit from more regular attention.
However, he seems a strong and athletic young man and I see no reason why he could not provide his services for both of us - even on the same day. (As long as it didn't damage his tool.)
Apparently the weather doesn't matter to him at all - in fact he told me he preferred it when it was wet.

I also told him that if he came regularly I wouldn't want him to use the back entrance all the time.
After all, the bush is round at the front.

**:•.♥•♫♥.•°♫ ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ °•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫°•.♥.•°•.♥.♫♥.•:**
§•►§•♫ §§§ .♥ Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere ♥. §§§ ♫•§◄•§

**:•.♥•♫♥.•° ♪°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥.•°♪ ♫°•.♥.•:*¨¨*:•.♥•°♪♫ ♫°•.♥.°•:*¨¨*:•.♥♪♫°•°.♥.•°•.♥♫♥.•:
*.................................................

7/5/096:03 AM

Ad-Free	Search Site	Start Dialogs
Upload Photos	Upload Videos	Upload Audio
Upload Documents	Use Signature	Block Members
View Member Directory	Mark All Topics As Read	Edit Posts Anytime
Post To Walls

Skip to main content

Topics

Add Reply

Membership Required

Remove From Your Block List

Manage Follow Preferences

Block

Premium Membership Required

VIP

Please wait...