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Flick on to your most local newspaper and what is the top story there today?

 

Here's mine :-

 

A woman pretended she was a man, to meet up with another woman to have a bit of rumpy pumpy.

 

After talking to her "victim" for 2 years, they arranged to meet up in a hotel for a bit of nookie.  After convincing her she was a bloke who had had a car accident and brain tumour, "he" said he would only meet up with the victim if she blindfolded herself.

 

Now one of my problems with that is ... wtf are you doing meeting up for a booty call with someone you have never met and blindfolding yourself while the action took place?   

 

"He" could have been doing anything, i will leave that to your imaginations but one of my thoughts was filming it for interweb pervs

 

 

Come on, what's the goss down your neck of the woods?

Replies sorted oldest to newest

 

'RUDE' CUMBRIAN TOWN NAME BANNED AT

NATIONAL WI FAIR

Cockermouth - a word too rude too mention. That was the ruling of event organisers who told a stall holder the name may offend the sensitive eyes of the Women’s Institute.

Cockermouth photo
Memorial Gardens, Cockermouth
 

Dominic Greyer was ordered to cover up his range of merchandise bearing the name of the town, along with many other places throughout Britain.

The tradesman, from Manchester, was selling mugs, tea towels and coasters featuring some of the UK’s more unusual place names at the Women’s Institute’s Centennial Fair in Harrogate.

He was also using the fair as a chance to promote his book, Lesser Spotted Britain, in which he has collated pictures of a sign for each place, including Cockermouth.

However, he was forced to put items bearing potentially offensive place names inside brown paper bags with a censored label across them.

Mr Greyer told the News & Star that he had paid “quite a lot of money” to have his stall at the event.

“I suppose that means I was invited,” he said. “I think a lot of the WI members saw the funny side to the things I sell,” he said. “They’re all places you can genuinely pass when you drive through Britain.”

He added that what members seemed to take the biggest exception to was the fact that it was men who ordered him to cover up the merchandise.

“A lot of them assumed I’d put the censored signs over everything as a bit of a publicity stunt,” Mr Greyer said. “But I explained that I’d been told to over them up by the organisers, who were men, and that’s when there was a bit of an outrage. "

He added that the decision to ask him to cover up his stock had a significant impact on business.

“There’s no doubt it caused a problem,” he added. “I didn’t have the day I was expecting.”

Dame_Ann_Average

 

Parents of five children aged from 7 to 12 charged with vandalising Cambusnethan Cemetery have been issued with tenancy warnings, the Wishaw Press can reveal.

A council official explained the move at a meeting of the Wishaw Local Area Partnership.

Last month, the Wishaw Press reported how a seven-year-old was among five children charged with vandalism at a Wishaw cemetery.

Along with kids aged 10, 12 and two nine-year-olds, the youngster has been reported to the Scottish Children’s Reporter following a wrecking spree at Cambusnethan Cemetery.

And a nine-year-old has been reported over vandalism at Cambusnethan North Church.

Campaigner Wendy McSeveney, who started a petition to install permanent CCTV cameras in the cemetery after her baby son’s grave was trashed along with 50 others, attended the meeting.

She said: “I was pleased with the response I received from the councillors.

“I believe that the council are taking into consideration what we have been saying.

“I am also pleased that tenancy warnings have been issued.

“I know the problem isn’t going to be fixed overnight but I hope that we will get there in the end.”

A council spokesman confirmed that verbal tenancy warnings were issued to the parents of the children.

Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing

Our top story is of a big firm cutting 14 jobs.  Come on now.  That's awful for the people getting the sack but is it the most interesting thing happening in our town?  Doubt it.

 

Also big news this week is the cancellation of the usual Christmas market.  People are really moaning about this but personally I think paying ÂĢ1000000 for a mince pie is a rip off and glad it won't be here.  

 

(I may have exaggerated the price but not by much).

Ells
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
 

'RUDE' CUMBRIAN TOWN NAME BANNED AT

NATIONAL WI FAIR

Cockermouth - a word too rude too mention. That was the ruling of event organisers who told a stall holder the name may offend the sensitive eyes of the Women’s Institute.

Cockermouth photo
Memorial Gardens, Cockermouth
 

Dominic Greyer was ordered to cover up his range of merchandise bearing the name of the town, along with many other places throughout Britain.

The tradesman, from Manchester, was selling mugs, tea towels and coasters featuring some of the UK’s more unusual place names at the Women’s Institute’s Centennial Fair in Harrogate.

He was also using the fair as a chance to promote his book, Lesser Spotted Britain, in which he has collated pictures of a sign for each place, including Cockermouth.

However, he was forced to put items bearing potentially offensive place names inside brown paper bags with a censored label across them.

Mr Greyer told the News & Star that he had paid “quite a lot of money” to have his stall at the event.

“I suppose that means I was invited,” he said. “I think a lot of the WI members saw the funny side to the things I sell,” he said. “They’re all places you can genuinely pass when you drive through Britain.”

He added that what members seemed to take the biggest exception to was the fact that it was men who ordered him to cover up the merchandise.

“A lot of them assumed I’d put the censored signs over everything as a bit of a publicity stunt,” Mr Greyer said. “But I explained that I’d been told to over them up by the organisers, who were men, and that’s when there was a bit of an outrage. "

He added that the decision to ask him to cover up his stock had a significant impact on business.

“There’s no doubt it caused a problem,” he added. “I didn’t have the day I was expecting.”

*sniggers*

 

i think they should have made the most of it and baked cockcupcakes

barney
Originally Posted by Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing:

 

Parents of five children aged from 7 to 12 charged with vandalising Cambusnethan Cemetery have been issued with tenancy warnings, the Wishaw Press can reveal.

A council official explained the move at a meeting of the Wishaw Local Area Partnership.

Last month, the Wishaw Press reported how a seven-year-old was among five children charged with vandalism at a Wishaw cemetery.

Along with kids aged 10, 12 and two nine-year-olds, the youngster has been reported to the Scottish Children’s Reporter following a wrecking spree at Cambusnethan Cemetery.

And a nine-year-old has been reported over vandalism at Cambusnethan North Church.

Campaigner Wendy McSeveney, who started a petition to install permanent CCTV cameras in the cemetery after her baby son’s grave was trashed along with 50 others, attended the meeting.

She said: “I was pleased with the response I received from the councillors.

“I believe that the council are taking into consideration what we have been saying.

“I am also pleased that tenancy warnings have been issued.

“I know the problem isn’t going to be fixed overnight but I hope that we will get there in the end.”

A council spokesman confirmed that verbal tenancy warnings were issued to the parents of the children.

that story makes me genuinely sad

barney
Originally Posted by Ells:

Our top story is of a big firm cutting 14 jobs.  Come on now.  That's awful for the people getting the sack but is it the most interesting thing happening in our town?  Doubt it.

 

Also big news this week is the cancellation of the usual Christmas market.  People are really moaning about this but personally I think paying ÂĢ1000000 for a mince pie is a rip off and glad it won't be here.  

 

(I may have exaggerated the price but not by much).

paying anything for a mince pie is a rip off

 

but i must admit, i do enjoy tottering around a christmas market, ok i admit mainly for the tasters of the unusual booze they serve up, but they tend to sell different things

barney
Originally Posted by Saint:

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk...gned-bodies-10017217

 

Aaarghhh!!! 2,000 people have signed their bodies over to medical science

 

Originally Posted by El Loro:

Zombie onslaught set for Gloucester is the headline.

 

 

 

(it's to do with a thriller ball to be held at the Guildhall around Halloween,)

Just to point out there's no connection between the two headlines.

 

 

 

 

Hopefully

El Loro

Today's Story.

 

CONCERNED residents believe a child could 'plunge to their death' after catalogue of complaints aimed at ÂĢ23million facility.

Tom Dick/Wishaw Press
Houldsworth Health Centre

Anxious parents this week warned that a child could ‘plunge to their death’ by climbing over balconies at the new ÂĢ23m Houldsworth Centre.

Now they are calling for safety measures to be put in place at the new centre in Kenilworth Avenue before there is a fatality or serious accident.

And other residents have raised concerns about safety if a fire was to break out at the facility.

Last week the Wishaw Press reported how patients blasted the new health and council facilities a ‘waste of money’ and a shambles.

Now parents and patients flooded our Facebook pages with complaints and concerns about the building.

Some mums fear an accident waiting to happen as children are able to climb over a small wall there.

Erica Law said: “I think its an accident waiting to happen.

“As a parent with a child with autism and having to go to fourth-floor for his dentist, I was horrified at the silly small wall that was easily climbed.

“I think something must be done to stop someone falling to there deaths.

“Not only is there children with special needs but also people with mental health that visit that centre, so well done for creating a very dangerous place for the very people who need protecting."

Many of our readers agreed with Erica’s comment.

Pamela Park said: “This is the first thing my mum mentioned when she went this week and said the same thing, that it’s a tragedy waiting to happen.”

Joan Barclay said: "I agree with Erica Law the first thing I thought when i saw the wall was someone’s going to go over that. All children are naturally inquisitive and the best parent in the world could still take their eye off a child for a few seconds.

"Cant think of any good reason for it to be built that way its like one of those daft architectural designs that win awards but are totally impractical."

Linda Brooks said: "The open atrium was first thing I noticed, surprised this wasn’t discussed and resolved at planning stage. The inside seems poorly finished to have cost so much."

In last week’s Wishaw Press, patients highlighted a string of concerns including:

- elevators breaking down and the size of the lifts.

- screens to notify patients about appointments were not working leading to longer waiting times

- lack of available parking

- inadequate access for disabled people.

Andy Nevans hit out at the lack of parking after he was hit with a fine.

He said: “As a disabled driver I received a parking ticket for parking on the pavement as all the temporary disabled bays were full by able bodied drivers.

“There were no blue badges in the cars and there were a couple of work vans.

“The pavement was not blocked because I made sure of that but I paid my fine anyway.

“I’ve been back at the Health Centre again and the same problem has happened but not one car has a ticket.”

Joe Magunnigal also had a horrendous experience at the new centre.

He said: “I had to bump a wheelchair down four flights of stairs because the lift stop working. This should have been fixed before they opened their doors.

“There are only two disabled bays at the side with people parking across them and there’s no room for you to use a wheelchair next to them.

“They would have been better keeping the old health center open for another month whilst they tested the new one.”

“Everyone should feel safe when entering the building.”

And residents complained about fire alarms going off at the centre and lifts not working there..

Lorraine Cunningham said: “When I had my father in law in for a doctors appointment, the fire alarm went off. He is not mobile enough to walk down three flights of stairs, so him and I were left in the stairwell on the third floor. I can’t believe they have no provision for getting people with mobility problems down the stairs. All it would take is the purchase of a few evacucation chairs and train a few staff how to use them.

“ If this had been a genuine fire heaven knows what would have happened.”

Graham Johnston, NHS Lanarkshire's head of management services, said the facility fully complies with all relevant health and safety regulations and appropriate building standards.

He said: "When any new building opens, teething issues can and do arise and we endeavour to address them as they emerge.

"We are as frustrated by these glitches as patients and staff are and we would like to apologise for any inconvenience these cause.

"We would encourage anyone who has a concern about the new centre to raise this with the on-site centre administrator to allow us to address it."

A council spokesperson added: “As part of the development of the Houldsworth Centre, a two-storey car park with 190 spaces will be constructed on the site of the former health centre building, which is due to be demolished. The new car park is expected to open in March 2016.

“In the meantime, leaflets with a map of the car parking available within the town centre have been distributed in local council offices and details are available on the council’s web site at www.northlanarkshire.gov.uk/houldsworth.”

Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing

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