i know kids have to learn the value of things but taking away all the birthday money just seems TOO mean to me. mainly due to her 'father' situation recently, i think it would be a huge blow to punish her on her birthday. by all means reduce the amount you were going to give her to help pay for her glasses...and make her save up for her own ipod to replace the one she lost (if she never gets it back).

i just think that in the years to come, she wont be thanking you for teaching her the value of money, but maybe looking back on that particular birthday with bitterness towards you. her father just buggered off and left her without telling her, last thing she needs to to feel you dont care either . and she does sound like a good responsible girl otherwise.

thats how it was for me anyways when i was in a similar situation to her many years ago.

this IS just my opinion though she's your child and you know her best ofc

I'm really sorry to hear this Aimesss.

Is it really her fault that she has lost an item that was really exensive? We buy 'kids' these expensive gadgets when they are not mature enough to be responsible for such items. I know you are really angry at the mo, but why upset the relationship you have with her for the sake of an Ipod and pair of glasses. As ickleditty said (probably joking), that at that age they would take it very personally and rebel, not just see it as 'time to be responsible'. I hope you both enjoy her birthday

Kids! Dont they just drive you mad? Sounds like one of mine Aims, could write a book on what mine have lost! My son went through a faze a few years back when he would leave his School bag, or coat on the bus!!!! Luckily, most of the time, one of his mates wouldve taken it home, but not always And as for my daughters, not even gonna go there on that one You are not alone Aimee

I told my mum about this and she reminded me of the time I thought I had lost my mobile phone a few days before my birthday...at that time she informed me that I could either accept the birthday money and pay for it myself ( I was saving up for something completely different) or go phoneless.
I didn't rebel ( I had much better things to consider rebeling over rather than something I'd brought on myself), I brought myself a cheap but good phone and saved the rest. I guess you could give her that choice Aimee and see if she manages to save herself any money once her glasses are brought.

OMG you lot. I have all this to come

Mine are too little for expensive stuff yet. They get my old phones and instead of ipods I bought them sanza mp3 players (which look just like them but cost a quarter of the price). I am hard on them though. It's been known for me to give thier favourite toys to the charity shop when they start arsing about.

I think Aimee's daughter is probably gutted she's lost her stuff. Kids are careless. Maybe explain to her calmly that you can't afford to be replacing so many things with her birthday coming up and it being so close to Xmas.

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Kids! Dont they just drive you mad? Sounds like one of mine Aims, could write a book on what mine have lost! My son went through a faze a few years back when he would leave his School bag, or coat on the bus!!!! Luckily, most of the time, one of his mates wouldve taken it home, but not always And as for my daughters, not even gonna go there on that one You are not alone Aimee

Hi hun
How long till the son goes off to Uni? You must be getting quite emotional now.

aimee You've had a tough time yourself and I'm not sure what to suggest.
She has to learn some responsibility but, if she is anything like my eldest, she may never grow out of it.
His head is in the clouds a lot of the time, he has to have his wallet and keys etc attached to him or he loses them - and he's 27 next week!

aims xxxx....

it's soooooo frustrating when they continually lose stuff.........in the last 6 months my daughter's lost her bus pass...140 quid....ipod...100 quid.......mobile....100 quid...

it does get to the point where you think enough is enough.....i know what ppl are saying in that teenagers can be generally careless and don't mean to lose it......but it's all things aims has probably struggled to buy......and in our house it's more the 'oh well' attitude that's more annoying than the actual loss itself....and they do have to learn that the money isn't just there to go and replace it like for like in an instant...

when my daughter lost her bus pass i made her walk......the pass was valid for 3 months and she lost it after a month.....she had to walk to school and it's about 6 miles away.......i only made her do it for 2 days but she appreciated what she lost...

she's got a 10 quid mobile from vodafone atm and i've told her if she wants a 'trendy' one..she can use her birthday money and i'll pay some towards it...her ipod is now her sisters old one

quote:

Originally posted by pussycatj:
I'm really sorry to hear this Aimesss.

Is it really her fault that she has lost an item that was really exensive? We buy 'kids' these expensive gadgets when they are not mature enough to be responsible for such items. I know you are really angry at the mo, but why upset the relationship you have with her for the sake of an Ipod and pair of glasses. As ickleditty said (probably joking), that at that age they would take it very personally and rebel, not just see it as 'time to be responsible'. I hope you both enjoy her birthday

ello Pussycat

Ickle had a surge of teenage hormones... lol! Birthdays are big deals in our house, cos they don't get a lot outside of birthdays & xmas.

Also... all this is a bit raw for us at the moment, Ickle leaves for school in 6 days... so I think we're just seeing things through a big 'don't sweat the small stuff' magnifying glass a the moment.

Most of Ickles friends come from well off families and she sees them get money and stuff thrown at them, and they don't appreciate it or take care of it.

So when she saw this last night, I think she related to little aims... an iPod is a big deal for ickle too... losing it would be a huge punishment in itself. To have it putting a cloud over her birthday would be unbearable to her (and its not so much the amount of pressies... we've had tough years... but the feeling that a punishment has been enforced on that special day).

But as I said... Ickle & I are a bit irrational at the moment... this next 6 days are gonna be sooo hard (be easier when she's at school and settled in I think... its the leading up to her going that has us both bursting into tears every so often)

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Kids! Dont they just drive you mad? Sounds like one of mine Aims, could write a book on what mine have lost! My son went through a faze a few years back when he would leave his School bag, or coat on the bus!!!! Luckily, most of the time, one of his mates wouldve taken it home, but not always And as for my daughters, not even gonna go there on that one You are not alone Aimee

Hi hun
How long till the son goes off to Uni? You must be getting quite emotional now.

aimee You've had a tough time yourself and I'm not sure what to suggest.
She has to learn some responsibility but, if she is anything like my eldest, she may never grow out of it.
His head is in the clouds a lot of the time, he has to have his wallet and keys etc attached to him or he loses them - and he's 27 next week!

Hiya Veggie 3 weeks time Dont know how I will cope just know I am gonna blub when leaving!

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
I am gonna blub when leaving!

No... stop... I am walking around with a lump in my throat and my eyes all watery as it is... *blink, blink, blink*... dammit *sneaky eye wipe*... I mustn't let her see me like this!

awwwwwww ditty........ to both of you...

it'll be like malory towers!!!...has ickle ditty started saying stuff like....'i say mother..the most beastly awful thing happened..we ran out of potted paste sandwiches at the midnight feast in the dorm.. it simply was not wizard'!!....

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
I am gonna blub when leaving!

No... stop... I am walking around with a lump in my throat and my eyes all watery as it is... *blink, blink, blink*... dammit *sneaky eye wipe*... I mustn't let her see me like this!

I know, I keep thinking if he sees me cry it will of course upset him too, but I know what Im like My friends daughter went uni last year; She (the mum) cried every night for 3 WEEKS!!

LOL! You're like me Spongey... in a timewarp (She has never read Malory Towers)

SHE thinks its gonna be like Hogwarts!!!!

She has been squealing about going to Hogwarts since she got the provisional scholarship... its just the realisation last night, that it was her last *gulp* Sunday night at home for a while that made it suddenly strike home.

She suddenly looked like she was five years old and said " mummmmeeeeeeeee" with this face --->

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
I am gonna blub when leaving!

No... stop... I am walking around with a lump in my throat and my eyes all watery as it is... *blink, blink, blink*... dammit *sneaky eye wipe*... I mustn't let her see me like this!

I know, I keep thinking if he sees me cry it will of course upset him too, but I know what Im like My friends daughter went uni last year; She (the mum) cried every night for 3 WEEKS!!

mmmm, in a way I think it would hit me harder if she was off to uni... as I would be even more worried about her looking after herself.

I keep telling myself that once she's settled in... if I know she is happy, then I will be able to be happy. I'll still miss her, but its worrying about her that I can't hack.

and now I am gonna have to leave this thread for a little while... cos my stiff upper lip has dissolved and me eyes are proper watery....

*goes to pull herself together*

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
LOL! You're like me Spongey... in a timewarp (She has never read Malory Towers)

SHE thinks its gonna be like Hogwarts!!!!

She has been squealing about going to Hogwarts since she got the provisional scholarship... its just the realisation last night, that it was her last *gulp* Sunday night at home for a while that made it suddenly strike home.

She suddenly looked like she was five years old and said " mummmmeeeeeeeee" with this face --->

awwwwwwww ditty xxxxxxxx......

i guess there will be tears and worry.....but i bet in a few weeks she'll be battering your ears with tales of whose done what and which teacher is horrible etc etc...

she's done fantastically well....all good luck to her xxx

I think you're doing the right thing, Aimee. If Growly Jnr had lost two valuable things like that, I would do exactly the same, except I would stop her allowance for a while as well because I wouldn't be thinking of spending £300 on a birthday present. It's difficult to claim off your household insurance for an amount like that because it will affect your premium next year, and you would lose your no claims discount. I think the ipod is slightly different if your daughter bought it herself or if it was a Christmas present, but presumably you paid for the glasses, and whether or not I could afford to replace them, I think that teenagers have to accept responsibility for taking care of their possessions.

Aimee

What a difficult situation. I would be gutted if mine had lost any one expensive item, never mind three.

It's difficult to go back on your word about not buying her a birthday present and I see where other FMs are coming from, but I personally wouldnt give in and buy one but put the money towards replacements. As she is under 16, are you not entitled to a voucher to pay for a new pair within a certain price range so it doesnt matter so much if they get lost too?

I learnt from a young age that people dont respect what they dont pay for and it certainly is very true.

I hope she has learnt from this and takes more care of her belongings in future.

Still available on e-bay.

Lesson will soon be learnt.

Aime i have 3 kids the eldest looks after her stuff well and in fact i do not think she has lost a thing lol.

now the 15 years old has lost too many things expensive things to mention,phones being among them.I was livid but when her birthday came i got her presents clothes she went out with mates paid for by me to pizza hut,i could not punish her birthday,but she saved every penny for her own phone she lost,and i never give her so much as a fiver toward it.

My youngest son well a few years ago when he was in primary school he came home after judo in his judo suit and left his entire uniform down to his very socks and shoes behind.

He has since lost more than other two put together,and so careless with his console games which i used to replace not now though he breaks it he replaces it saves up teach him a lesson.

Good work, Aimee.
She might be more careful with her stuff in future!