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quote:
Originally posted by Aimee:
after the missing ipod incident and now tells me she also lost her new glasses at the same time Angry she only has too wear them for TV and computer use, but they cost me a bliddy fortune Roll Eyes so, i've decided i'm not giving her the money for her birthday *2 weeks time* Nod


tough love as Americans call it but if it helps her realise responsibility and appreciation it's worth doing Nod
Yellow Rose
quote:
Originally posted by Trixy:
sounds like the best idea, if she can't look after what you buy her then she should buy it herself...if she complains just tell her that you "lost" her birthday present.


told her, that her birthday money is paying for her new glasses and then maybe she will look after her possesions Thumbs Up she has lost nearly ÂĢ300 worth of possesions in one day Mad
Aimee
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
She's got to learn Aimee, I've set some ground rules down to my youngest today, no more bail outs...grow up! They have to learn at some point. molly coddling doesn't do them any favours later, I've learned a hard lesson!


i've learn't my lesson this weekend Nod, i've always spoily her but in this case she has taken the p-ss Mad well no more Nod
Aimee
quote:
Originally posted by Aimee:
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
She's got to learn Aimee, I've set some ground rules down to my youngest today, no more bail outs...grow up! They have to learn at some point. molly coddling doesn't do them any favours later, I've learned a hard lesson!


i've learn't my lesson this weekend Nod, i've always spoily her but in this case she has taken the p-ss Mad well no more Nod


I know with three daughters Aimee, I've been a mug...no more grow up and learn to do it like we have all had to. Stick your guns Aimee, it will be best in the long run.

robertsam I agreee, we have to be cruel to be kind, nothing in life comes easy. Wait until you can afford it, just don't expect it to be given!
Dame_Ann_Average
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
quote:
Originally posted by Aimee:
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
She's got to learn Aimee, I've set some ground rules down to my youngest today, no more bail outs...grow up! They have to learn at some point. molly coddling doesn't do them any favours later, I've learned a hard lesson!


i've learn't my lesson this weekend Nod, i've always spoily her but in this case she has taken the p-ss Mad well no more Nod


I know with three daughters Aimee, I've been a mug...no more grow up and learn to do it like we have all had to. Stick your guns Aimee, it will be best in the long run.

robertsam I agreee, we have to be cruel to be kind, nothing in life comes easy. Wait until you can afford it, just don't expect it to be given!


she is taking the pee now Mad so i'm going to be strong and not give in to her Thumbs Up
Aimee
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
quote:
Originally posted by Aimee:
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
She's got to learn Aimee, I've set some ground rules down to my youngest today, no more bail outs...grow up! They have to learn at some point. molly coddling doesn't do them any favours later, I've learned a hard lesson!


i've learn't my lesson this weekend Nod, i've always spoily her but in this case she has taken the p-ss Mad well no more Nod


I know with three daughters Aimee, I've been a mug...no more grow up and learn to do it like we have all had to. Stick your guns Aimee, it will be best in the long run.

robertsam I agreee, we have to be cruel to be kind, nothing in life comes easy. Wait until you can afford it, just don't expect it to be given!

I have two son's and they think because there is no man in the house it is there role to take charge, unfortunately they sometimes take the pee (not always) and I have to put my foot down.
robertsam
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

I have two son's and they think because there is no man in the house it is there role to take charge, unfortunately they sometimes take the pee (not always) and I have to put my foot down.


My daughters never asked their dad for anything, he's such a greedy git anyway. but I've let them away with murder until the last year or so... now I say no and mean no! I've bailed them out so many times, and they still boast we have a new car, I have just bought so and so and I'm thinking you mad woman you. I love them dearly but enough is enough, you have the right attitude Thumbs Up
Dame_Ann_Average
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

I have two son's and they think because there is no man in the house it is there role to take charge, unfortunately they sometimes take the pee (not always) and I have to put my foot down.


My daughters never asked their dad for anything, he's such a greedy git anyway. but I've let them away with murder until the last year or so... now I say no and mean no! I've bailed them out so many times, and they still boast we have a new car, I have just boughtand I'm thinking you mad woman you. I love them dearly but enough is enough, you have the right attitude Thumbs Up

Me too, for years I used to buy presents for them for christmas etc. and sign them from mummy and daddy, because you want it to be the same for them as their friends but eventually reality has to kick in, and you have stop putting yourself on a guilt trip.
robertsam
Aimeeeeeee!

I know what a pisher it is when they lose stuff.... but I reckon your daughter is just as gutted about the iPod as you are, if not more!

The glasses... well thats unfortunate... and you could get her cheaper ones to replace them (as punishment??)

But come one.... its one thing saying in anger that it'll come out of her birthday money.. but in reality you know you can't do that! She sounds like she's a good kid... I think the loss of her iPod (and you NOT replacing it) will help her be more disciplined in looking after stuff.

I also know that like me... you've brought her up with little help from "him"... and you are her rock... and that her dad recently did a bunk to Ireland.

My daughter leaves home next week... its all gone so quick... enjoy the few birthdays you have left of her being your baby... don't let something like this sully one!
Valentine
Dirtyprettygirlthing
quote:
Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
Aimeeeeeee!

I know what a pisher it is when they lose stuff.... but I reckon your daughter is just as gutted about the iPod as you are, if not more!

The glasses... well thats unfortunate... and you could get her cheaper ones to replace them (as punishment??)

But come one.... its one thing saying in anger that it'll come out of her birthday money.. but in reality you know you can't do that! She sounds like she's a good kid... I think the loss of her iPod (and you NOT replacing it) will help her be more disciplined in looking after stuff.

I also know that like me... you've brought her up with little help from "him"... and you are her rock... and that her dad recently did a bunk to Ireland.

My daughter leaves home next week... its all gone so quick... enjoy the few birthdays you have left of her being your baby... don't let something like this sully one!
Valentine

No it doesn't change how you feel about them it just makes you worried you haven't prepared them for life.
robertsam
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

Me too, for years I used to buy presents for them for christmas etc. and sign them from mummy and daddy, because you want it to be the same for them as their friends but eventually reality has to kick in, and you have stop putting yourself on a guilt trip.


Totally agree, the guilt gets to you, but eventually you have to stop and think whats best for them and you Hug
Dame_Ann_Average
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

No it doesn't change how you feel about them it just makes you worried you haven't prepared them for life.


I'm all about preparing them for life... but I am all about appreciating the good stuff in them too, and I don't for one minute think that little Aimee lost her iPod on purpose, and I think she'll be gutted about it.
Dirtyprettygirlthing
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

Me too, for years I used to buy presents for them for christmas etc. and sign them from mummy and daddy, because you want it to be the same for them as their friends but eventually reality has to kick in, and you have stop putting yourself on a guilt trip.
Totally agree, the guilt gets to you, but eventually you have to stop and think whats best for them and you Hug


The weirdest thing for me was after the teenage tantrums I was gobsmacked when I had an adult conversation with my eldest son he told me that he knew his dad hadn't bought the presents he was annoyed at me for covering up for him.
robertsam
quote:
Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

No it doesn't change how you feel about them it just makes you worried you haven't prepared them for life.


I'm all about preparing them for life... but I am all about appreciating the good stuff in them too, and I don't for one minute think that little Aimee lost her iPod on purpose, and I think she'll be gutted about it.


Yes but I think what Aimee is saying is that they think it is easy come easy go, and don't you think for a single second that her daughter won't get a birthday present Smiler
robertsam
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

The weirdest thing for me was after the teenage tantrums I was gobsmacked when I had an adult conversation with my eldest son he told me that he knew his dad hadn't bought the presents he was annoyed at me for covering up for him.


the best bit is my three daughters agree their dads an arse and it's now at the point that omly one speaks to him...but like all children they fall back to their mothers for help and we tend to give in. I've done them no favours, I know that...I've handed out thousands, I wish I could turn back the clock, but what's dones done!
Dame_Ann_Average
quote:
Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
quote:
Originally posted by robertsam:

The weirdest thing for me was after the teenage tantrums I was gobsmacked when I had an adult conversation with my eldest son he told me that he knew his dad hadn't bought the presents he was annoyed at me for covering up for him.


the best bit is my three daughters agree their dads an arse and it's now at the point that omly one speaks to him...but like all children they fall back to their mothers for help and we tend to give in. I've done them no favours, I know that...I've handed out thousands, I wish I could turn back the clock, but what's dones done!

I know what you are saying but you just looked after your children the same way I did, wait and see it will all come good in the end.
robertsam
I haven't read all this thread but I agree with both sides.
I give in all the time. I rant and rave when they do something I'm not happy with and by the Jesus they know I'm not happy.
I swear all these punishments on them and when push comes to shove I give in after a few hours/days depending on what I have said.
The way I feel about it is that it's not worth it.
We talk a lot and they know what I expect from them.
I have 3 sons. Two are now in their 20s and they have turned out to be nice guys who look after themselves and give us very little grief.

If they lost something they knew we couldn't afford to replace it so they accepted that. They also knew under it all we would replace it as soon as we could but not without a good old lecture first.
Don't be too hard on your kids. It can go against you. Talk to them, know their friends and where they are.
They are gone before you know it.
Tayto.
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