I really don't know the laws here, but is there an ombudsman or someone that you can contact? I would think that a meeting about your child should have been held with you in attendance or at least you should have been informed.

Not sure whether it's a law breaking offence, but they should have definately notified you as her parent of this meeting. Contact the council the school comes under, They should have a contact that deals with SEN children in the borough, and see how go from there.

Any decisions made at the meeting without you, should be considered void, as you were not there.

thank you both - I've looked around the 'net' and I cant see anything about law and education til 19 for disabled children. Surely - I have brought her up for 18 years, I would have heard of it by now??? V. intersting that they are getting involved after 18 years dont u think??

I can't give ANY advice BB, but big hugs to you and your family

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:
thank you both - I've looked around the 'net' and I cant see anything about law and education til 19 for disabled children. Surely - I have brought her up for 18 years, I would have heard of it by now??? V. intersting that they are getting involved after 18 years dont u think??

Good luck, Barmy lets us know how you get on.

quote:

Originally posted by Senora Reyes:
Any decisions made at the meeting without you, should be considered void, as you were not there.

that is what I'm thinking Senora - why the hell wasnt I told of this meeting??? I'm not in hospital or certified or anything???? - its all beyond me - i'm mystified and outraged. I want to know my legal standing before I kick off tho (if u know what I mean)

quote:

Originally posted by storm:
I can't give ANY advice BB, but big hugs to you and your family

thankyou

I can't offer any advice but can offer hugs to you and your family Barmy Brummie , best of luck with it, awww what a sad situation to be in .


Join us on the Freddie fan club .

wait your mum was there but you were not??? why on earth did they notify her but not you....the child in question's parent!

i dont know the law regarding not inviting you to a meeting but i know you dont have to go for them to just carry on, as that happened to me once (when an invite got lost..they carried on and went through it with me latter).

it is NOT illegal to take your child out of school though, you are perfectly within your rights to do so, least thats the impression i get as i chat to alot of parents of children with autism (as my son has aspergers) and alot of them have ended up taking their children out of school simply because their children cannot cope with mainstream but the education system tries to keep them there. i do not know what condition your daugther has but i know the education till 19 is the same with autism. it might be worth joining forums for parents of children with your daughter's disability and going to CAB and asking them for advice...sorry i cannot help more

Maybe contact citizen's advice etc.

How old is she? If under 18 it could have been a child protection strategy meeting, in which case you would not have been invited or have any legal right to be there...but someone should be letting you know what's going on

the 19 thing is total crap. What you are best off doing organising social services to come round & speak with you & they MUST inform you of your rights. Or go to your local citizens advice bureau & they will definately know where you can carry on from there.

As for your mother being there she must have been notified & therefore that is a breach of privacy which is of course against the law.

If you are entitled to legal aid, try and see a solicitor, if not, the CAB should be able to point you in the right direction and they have
a solicitor there free once a week (not sure if this service is UK wide?)

Why was your mother there? She must have been informed about it? Check if the criteria for the meeting was parent or relative as just your mother's presence might be enough to back them up.

They may try and lie and say they informed you, but stick to your guns on this. What they have done is bang out of order. In regards to staying in school till they're 19, I could take my 11 year old out of school now and teach him at home if I wanted, so not understanding that apparent law at all

Let us know how you get on x

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Senora Reyes:
Any decisions made at the meeting without you, should be considered void, as you were not there.

that is what I'm thinking Senora - why the hell wasnt I told of this meeting??? I'm not in hospital or certified or anything???? - its all beyond me - i'm mystified and outraged. I want to know my legal standing before I kick off tho (if u know what I mean)

Yep totally agree with you, arm yourself with facts and your rights as a parent then blast them. I teach in a secondary school, with 3 disabled children, and as far as I know, even with able bodied children, there is no way a multi-agency meeting discussing your child, should have been held without you being present.

Rather than go through all the various agencies wouldn't it be simpler to ring up and simply enquire why you were not invited to a meeting about your daughter?

I wouldn't go down the Citizens Advice route or Legal stuff ......obviously you have the right to know why you weren't consulted ........go straight to the top.

Contact your local council's education Dept,ask who is the Director of Education and put in writing your complaint and request an interview.

I really can't help you hun but wanted to give you a hug

it seems very strange to me that they would invite your mum but not you. Does she have some kind of parental responsibility type legal thing for your daughter?
If not, I would have thought that they were breaking some sort of confidentiality rule or summat
Hope you get it sorted

Sorry to hear about this when you clearly have enough to deal with in caring for your child. This doesn't sound right to me and I suggest you make an appointment with a company of Solicitors who deal in Family Law. They should give you a free consulation where they will be able to advise you of your rights.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

quote:

Originally posted by erinp:
Contact your local council's education Dept,ask who is the Director of Education and put in writing your complaint and request an interview.

Definately!

thank you so much everyone for your replies. I know that my mom was invited (she was a registered resite carer up until 2 months ago). I know for a fact that she was there because the kind soul that told me about the meeting gave her a lift to my daughters school.

I honestly dont know why I wasnt involved??? I feel like kicking off about it - but I do want to get my facts straight first.

I DO have quite a bad anxiety disorder, but there is no way on earth I would ever miss such a meeting, I never have missed any meetings to do with my daughter.

This meeting was done behind my back for some reason? Like I said - I'm NOT sectioned or certified - apart from the anxiety I'm pretty dandy AND I'm not in hospital.

Apparently there is another meeting in 3 weeks (which my confidante told me). I have spoken to my mother just this weekend and she never mentioned the meeting, so its obviously all hush-hush... its all very wierd.

I thank you all again for your responses. I intend to take action, which is why I am asking for advice

quote:

Originally posted by Senora Reyes:

quote:

Originally posted by erinp:
Contact your local council's education Dept,ask who is the Director of Education and put in writing your complaint and request an interview.

Definately!

Hi,

Why didn't your Mum tell you about the meeting?

if she is no longer registered as a carer for your child it is illegal for her to be involved in anything to do with the education & welfare of your child. You should ring the school tomorrow & make sure they know she is no longer a carer

quote:

Originally posted by erinp:

quote:

Originally posted by Senora Reyes:

quote:

Originally posted by erinp:
Contact your local council's education Dept,ask who is the Director of Education and put in writing your complaint and request an interview.

Definately!

Hi,

Hi babes!

quote:

Originally posted by Hotpants Helen:
Why didn't your Mum tell you about the meeting?

because we had a fall-out a little while back!!! pathetic isnt it.

U see my mom is a paediatric nurse.... she knows the children act etc etc - has a uniform - AND just happens to work with the consultant that has known my daughter since she was 6 WEEKS old - so its a case of St Nurse against crappy mother

quote:

Originally posted by Koala Brother:
if she is no longer registered as a carer for your child it is illegal for her to be involved in anything to do with the education & welfare of your child. You should ring the school tomorrow & make sure they know she is no longer a carer

she apparently told them she is no longer involved (in that way) - she apparently resigned about 2 months ago - so why the HELL she was invited is beyond me???

As an aside - I went for a routine medical check-up with my daughter 2 weeks ago. My mom wasnt on shift, but she made it her business to be there. I told her to wait outside whilst I took my daughter in for the check-up. At the end of it - consultant says everything is medically fine.... THEN she (medic consultant/friend of mother) follows me out and calls my mother in for a private chat (talk about talking ABOUT u in front of ur face???)

I really REALLY dont get it - this is SURELY TOTALLY WRONG?

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Hotpants Helen:
Why didn't your Mum tell you about the meeting?

because we had a fall-out a little while back!!! pathetic isnt it.

U see my mom is a paediatric nurse.... she knows the children act etc etc - has a uniform - AND just happens to work with the consultant that has known my daughter since she was 6 years old - so its a case of St Nurse against crappy mother

Sorry to hear about that.

Sorry to be disrespecting anyone here.... I 100% understand the law re education, non-school attendance, home-education, child protection etc. etc. and some of the advice given so far may be right or wrong dependant on the circumstances/context/age of your child. Give me a few more clues, or, if you'd rather not, contact your parent-partnership officer in the first instance..it'll be much more helpful than writing to the 'top-dog' who will pass your letter to a more junior officer to write the reply which they'll sign , CAB are unlikely to have a clue and legal advice will be expensive, and could be an un-necessary expense in the short term. Don't know you're circumstances, but it is possible that you are breaking the law by not sending your child to school, and you could be prosecuted

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Hotpants Helen:
Why didn't your Mum tell you about the meeting?

because we had a fall-out a little while back!!! pathetic isnt it.

U see my mom is a paediatric nurse.... she knows the children act etc etc - has a uniform - AND just happens to work with the consultant that has known my daughter since she was 6 years old - so its a case of St Nurse against crappy mother

you're not a crappy mother. I have had specialised for my kids who know nothing about what they are doing. I have 2 kids with ADHD. Also 1 is slighty autistic (sp?) & the other has aspergers. They have also had to have specialist care because of another family matter & I can tell you that these experts, including your mother do not live with you 25/8 (cause it feels like that sometimes) & therefore are not as qualified as you are.

quote:

Originally posted by Hotpants Helen:

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Hotpants Helen:
Why didn't your Mum tell you about the meeting?

because we had a fall-out a little while back!!! pathetic isnt it.

U see my mom is a paediatric nurse.... she knows the children act etc etc - has a uniform - AND just happens to work with the consultant that has known my daughter since she was 6 years old - so its a case of St Nurse against crappy mother

Sorry to hear about that.

thankyou - this has only happened since the fallout (about 2 months ago) - amazing isnt it?? I mean - how did I evade the social for 18 years lol

[/QUOTE]


because we had a fall-out a little while back!!! pathetic isnt it.

U see my mom is a paediatric nurse.... she knows the children act etc etc - has a uniform - AND just happens to work with the consultant that has known my daughter since she was 6 WEEKS old - so its a case of St Nurse against crappy mother [/QUOTE]

If you were such a crappy mother you wouldn't have been allowed to care for your daughter for 18 years. I really think you should seek free legal advice, then you will know your rights.

quote:

Originally posted by Koala Brother:

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Hotpants Helen:
Why didn't your Mum tell you about the meeting?

because we had a fall-out a little while back!!! pathetic isnt it.

U see my mom is a paediatric nurse.... she knows the children act etc etc - has a uniform - AND just happens to work with the consultant that has known my daughter since she was 6 years old - so its a case of St Nurse against crappy mother

you're not a crappy mother. I have had specialised for my kids who know nothing about what they are doing. I have 2 kids with ADHD. Also 1 is slighty autistic (sp?) & the other has aspergers. They have also had to have specialist care because of another family matter & I can tell you that these experts, including your mother do not live with you 25/8 (cause it feels like that sometimes) & therefore are not as qualified as you are.

bless u - u have put it so well. I have heard from this meeting that they are looking to put my daughter into her own living accommodation. I KNOW FOR A FACT she will suffer an injury before the day is out - they have no bloody idea

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Koala Brother:
if she is no longer registered as a carer for your child it is illegal for her to be involved in anything to do with the education & welfare of your child. You should ring the school tomorrow & make sure they know she is no longer a carer

she apparently told them she is no longer involved (in that way) - she apparently resigned about 2 months ago - so why the HELL she was invited is beyond me???

As an aside - I went for a routine medical check-up with my daughter 2 weeks ago. My mom wasnt on shift, but she made it her business to be there. I told her to wait outside whilst I took my daughter in for the check-up. At the end of it - consultant says everything is medically fine.... THEN she (medic consultant/friend of mother) follows me out and calls my mother in for a private chat (talk about talking ABOUT u in front of ur face???)

I really REALLY dont get it - this is SURELY TOTALLY WRONG?

they are NOT allowed to do that. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh it makes me so angry for you. If you can ever get you mother to admit that they are telling her things without your consent make sure you get it on tape or even just ring the consultant & state that if in future (use a little bit of your mum bluff) your mother is informed of anything to do with your child you will sue them.

if as you say she is severly disabled (not doubting you by the way) how would they consult her about her living arrangements. As her thoughts & yours as her carer need to be considered.

quote:

Originally posted by Koala Brother:

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Koala Brother:
if she is no longer registered as a carer for your child it is illegal for her to be involved in anything to do with the education & welfare of your child. You should ring the school tomorrow & make sure they know she is no longer a carer

she apparently told them she is no longer involved (in that way) - she apparently resigned about 2 months ago - so why the HELL she was invited is beyond me???

As an aside - I went for a routine medical check-up with my daughter 2 weeks ago. My mom wasnt on shift, but she made it her business to be there. I told her to wait outside whilst I took my daughter in for the check-up. At the end of it - consultant says everything is medically fine.... THEN she (medic consultant/friend of mother) follows me out and calls my mother in for a private chat (talk about talking ABOUT u in front of ur face???)

I really REALLY dont get it - this is SURELY TOTALLY WRONG?

they are NOT allowed to do that. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh it makes me so angry for you. If you can ever get you mother to admit that they are telling her things without your consent make sure you get it on tape or even just ring the consultant & state that if in future (use a little bit of your mum bluff) your mother is informed of anything to do with your child you will sue them.

I think that is what it is looking like you know. As I said above, I DO have an anxiety thing going on - but I have NEVER - EVER missed out on anything to do with my daughters wellfare. I have it on pretty good authority, that since our little 'bust-up' my mom is going around telling people I'm mad lol - CAN U BELIEVE IT!!!
I have brought my daughter up for 18 years, and for ONCE I stood up for myself - and now I'm mad

I'm definitely going to go down the legal route - which is why I just wanted to check a few things first

quote:

Originally posted by BARMY BRUMMIE:

quote:

Originally posted by Koala Brother:
if she is no longer registered as a carer for your child it is illegal for her to be involved in anything to do with the education & welfare of your child. You should ring the school tomorrow & make sure they know she is no longer a carer

she apparently told them she is no longer involved (in that way) - she apparently resigned about 2 months ago - so why the HELL she was invited is beyond me???

As an aside - I went for a routine medical check-up with my daughter 2 weeks ago. My mom wasnt on shift, but she made it her business to be there. I told her to wait outside whilst I took my daughter in for the check-up. At the end of it - consultant says everything is medically fine.... THEN she (medic consultant/friend of mother) follows me out and calls my mother in for a private chat (talk about talking ABOUT u in front of ur face???)

I really REALLY dont get it - this is SURELY TOTALLY WRONG?

I don't think Doctors are allowed to do that. I would complain to the hospital or GMC.

See
Data Protection Act
sensitive personal data
your mum should not have access to medical/educational records.

Barmy sorry I can't offer any practical advice but I'd like to wish you the best of luck and loads of hugs....Keep the chin up eh.