i've been tempted to throw it back but it's my friends cat that keeps doing it, right in the middle of the lawn 

we work on the assumption that the neighbours love everything about their cats ... so it would be churlish not to return it

Lion dung   If you've not got a nearby lion then the next best thing is a box of 'Silent Roar'.  It's pellets of aforesaid animal's poop and it frightens domestic cats.

That dancing poo on the EDF advert

Went out for lunch the other day and there was a couple sat at the table next to us. She was making conversation with him while he just grunted 'uh huh' back as he had had phone held in front of his face.... he didn't even make eye contact!! She didn't seem too fussed (or it didn't show) I just what a rude man!

If only Lambton Lion Park was still on the go 

A while ago one of my sisters asked me to meet her for coffee.  The whole time she sat there with her head bowed, her phone in hand, texting her fella and updating her facebook.  Next time she asked I said no. 

Footballers who are now commonly seen to "slap" the grass if a decision dares go against them.

If you could stay on yer feet - you'd be stamping like a 5yr old

Fake concern, "Oh - were you ok - we were worried"

Really? How come you never called then? Bloody liar!!

Pushy women - bear with me on this one, ok.

There seems to be an epidemic of bolshy, loud women recently acting like it is their God-given right to shout their gobs off at anything.

My family has loads, work has loads, TV is full of them!!

Its just . . . you ladies are better than that (us guys aint)

And finally - the over sensitives who think they have the right never to be offended - or even "glanced" at in the wrong way ... idiots!!

I went to a wedding recently and a friend was doing that. I asked what she was doing and she said "checking in on FB". Get a grip 

Beggars belief doesn't it.  Admittedly I always have my phone with me because our office phones get directed to me when if they aren't answered within so many rings. But I'm not sitting there staring at it waiting for it to ring.  To be honest half the time I miss the calls anyway because I didn't hear it from the bottom of my bag. 

Yes the phone thing is annoying - I think just as TV changed our cultural habits the mobile is doing the same. If you go anywhere on a night out or a wedding etc. all you see is people taking photos and down loading onto FB - then they're checking their phones all night to see the response.

Maybe I'm miserable but I do find it a bit irksome.

It's in the school opposite us nuts...we are seperated by a only a footpath and the tree hangs right over....we have complained numerous times but to no avail....when we told them we would chop it off ourselves they threatened us with the police. They are proper gits!!

"are we there yet?"

"there's nothing to eat" when the cupboards, fridge and freezer are full

People who say..."it's just a cat". If I choose to bring an animal into the house I treat it like one of my kids

"special invitations" to the smear clinic 

Parents who let their kids run wild outside the house so they can get peace inside the house

As a hairdresser...people who say "I'm not bothered what you do" then go into a half hour speech of what they want done...THEN when I tell them it won't sit right with their hair get all offended. FINE...I'll let you go out looking like a tit

People who say they can't afford to eat well.

Brushes in nail varnish that don't reach the bottom of the bottle

Adverts for starving children in Africa on the food channels

Starting a recipe then realising one ingredient you have is out of date

Cat hair in my contact lenses

Men that smell their socks to see if they'll get another day out of them

i think that's the case - so long as you put the bit you cut off back on their side.

And that have a happy period advert 

I always have a happy period. I'm happy when I'm snapping at people, I'm happy when I've got cramps etc. Remember the bodyform advert? Maybe roller skates would cure the period blues 

I'd also like to put adverts for Verrucas etc on the list, why do they always show them at tea time 

Don't even go there 

I have 2 teenage girls who google symptoms and to be honest I'm surprised they're still alive with the things they think they might have 

have you spoken to the council about it?  I understood that you could cut something back to the boundary if it overhangs your property but you have to offer the cutting back as it's their property   if you haven't spoken to the council do so they could make the school act 

my grip:  people who moan that they're living hand to mouth on a low income just before they've gone on holiday to India and Goa and less than 4 months after coming back from Nicaragua and 10 months from a train holiday across Mongolia 

Ta for the advice re the squeaky tree....will look into it, just to make sure...then the bugger will come down....hopefully!!

Nothing makes me happier than when my boobs are swollen up like footballs and hurt so much that even the merest touch will bring tears...and when my mouth is saying things that I know are nasty yet it just carries on regardless.....roller skating sounds just the thing I need...get me a pair too Cagney and I'll see ya at the roller disco!!

Go girl! 

Spending my Saturday night looking at adverts placed at the side of a forum 

why have crisps and chocolate bars got smaller  but they seem to be charging more for them

Ohhhh! excellent point Aims! 

I've resorted to buying grab bag sized crisps 

But can you be sure they're still relatively full 

They are and they last me 2 days  i love me crisps 

There's no hope for you 

 and wine is gluten free 

Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to have three bottles of it 

oh 

Too short brushes annoy me too!

I'd totally use the out of date ingredient though, provided it doesn't have mould on it  

Adverts about bras 

You could ignore them though  

 I thought it was a poo too!

I still use the ingredients. Many months out of date. We're all still alive 

Not everythings getting smaller