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This is Davina (gurns) presenting in the house as part of the ignore the obvious task (gurns).  Housemates, please do not swear. Oh, they are ignoring me (gurns)

The voting lines have closed and I can now reveal the next person to be evicted from the Big Brother house is (annoying pause while I decide to have homemade fish and chips, so plant the potatoes, watch them grow, catch some fish, dig up the potatoes, cut them into chips, filet the fish, batter the fish, and fry it all up) is DAVE!  Join me after the break and we will hear about Dave's time in the house.

Camera shots on other housemates - John James sits back down after jumping up and getting his jacket.  Ben picks his jaw off the floor.

Josie:  I knew you wern't going John James.  I told you to not be so stupid.  Let's go lie down, all this sitting up has given me veritgo.

Dave:  Did she say me?  But, but, but I'm pupular!

Ben:  I'm so sorry Dave.  Never in a million years did I think you would leave.  Please forgive me for not being voted out.

Dave:  I can't believe I was voted out over you!  What have you done, Ben?  John James I can understand staying because of his showmance, but YOU??

Corin:  I'm, like, well surpised, like.  I never, like, expected, like Dave to be evicted, like.  I could go for a fag.  Joise, do you want a fag, like?

Steve:  Just goes to show you, we never know who is going to go.  Good thing I won the task or it could have been me.

Dave:  Nah, no one would vote out the Baron.

Mario:  (Jumps up and down) Dave! Dave!  I will miss you!

Dave:  Yeah, whatever dude.  I just lost the down payment on the vicarage I wanted to buy.

Davina: I'm here with Dave!  (Silence from the crowd)  Dave, would you like a wheelchair to do your interview in?

Dave:  Hahahahahahaha, that's all right.  I'm so full of the love of Our Lawrd in my belly.

Davina:  Are you drunk on the Lawrd now? (gurns)

Dave:  Whhaaa?  Oh yeah, errrrr, give me a minute to get over the shock and ÂĢ50.

Davina:  Why do you think you were voted out?

Dave:  God wants me to get out and spread the word.  

Davina:  You were quite touchy feely with the men in there . . .

Dave:  I love everyone in the house with the love of our Lawrd.

Davina:  You weren't that close to any of the women.  Why was that?

Dave:  They all tried to tempt me with their nakedness.  Me, a married man!  I just stayed as far away from them as I could so they couldn't tempt me with their wickedness.

Davina:  You have been a great housemate!

Dave:  Is that it?  I was one of the most pupular housemates and I only get a 4 minute interview?

Davina:  WE're putting in another housemate, so time is short.

Dave:  Another one?  Why didn't you just cancel the eviction and I could have stayed in to spread more joy.

Davina:  That's all we have time for, after the break we introduce another newbie (gurns).

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