Davina: Welcome to the last ever second eviciton ever of BB 2010! I'm now going to talk to the house. Big Brother house, this is Davina. You are live on Channel 4, awww, hell, you know the drill. I can now reveal that the second person to be evicted from the last ever series of Big Brother is . . . (annoying pause while I light the BBQ, wait for the coals to cool, put on the burgers, make the salads, serve up and eat) . . . Govan! Govan, say your good byes!
Davina: So Govan, why do you think you were evicted?
Govan: Yeah, but, no, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but Shabby wasn't even there! Well, she was, yeah, but she was in the bath and Ife was outside and then Keeva said hello and then Ben walked in.
Davina: And?
Govan: She wasn't even bothered!
Davina: (gurns) Who wasn't bothered?
Govan: Well, Shabby, obviously. She wasn't bothered about me leaving, but you know what? Hand on heart. I thought that Shabby thought it would be Ben, and I think the whole house thought it would be Ben or Mario. Like Mario was such a two faced person when he was the mole, like, and people held that against him. Ben is just so annoying and so easy to wind up and everything.
Davina: Slow down a bit, you're talking so fast that it's hard to keep up.
Govan: Ooops, sorry.
Davina: (gurns) It's what we expect from you. So why did you and Shabby decide to put "Pasta" (gurns) up for eviction?
Govan: Obviously, it's because Mario is close to Ben and everyone hates him.
Davina Did you think that BB would not be able to crack your code?
Govan: (giggles) I never even thought about it. I just knew that we wanted to get rid of Ben and his minions.
Davina: But why? Is Ben a threat to Shabby?
Govan: Are you joking? No one is a threat to Shabby. Shabby is going to win and Ben is just rubbing everyone the wrong way.
Davina: Do you think there is a chance that Shabby and Keeva will become a couple? Will there FINALLY be a gay romance in the BB house that will prove to the nation that Channel 4 is a leader in providing thought provoking and diverse entertainment?
Govan: I don't think Keeva is interested, to be honest. Unless, of course, there is nothing else that will provide Shabby with airtime.
Davina: Thanks, Govan! You have been a brilliant housemate! Join me on BBBM on E4 where we will pobe a bit deeper with Goven (gurns).
Davina: So Govan, why do you think you were evicted?
Govan: Yeah, but, no, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but Shabby wasn't even there! Well, she was, yeah, but she was in the bath and Ife was outside and then Keeva said hello and then Ben walked in.
Davina: And?
Govan: She wasn't even bothered!
Davina: (gurns) Who wasn't bothered?
Govan: Well, Shabby, obviously. She wasn't bothered about me leaving, but you know what? Hand on heart. I thought that Shabby thought it would be Ben, and I think the whole house thought it would be Ben or Mario. Like Mario was such a two faced person when he was the mole, like, and people held that against him. Ben is just so annoying and so easy to wind up and everything.
Davina: Slow down a bit, you're talking so fast that it's hard to keep up.
Govan: Ooops, sorry.
Davina: (gurns) It's what we expect from you. So why did you and Shabby decide to put "Pasta" (gurns) up for eviction?
Govan: Obviously, it's because Mario is close to Ben and everyone hates him.
Davina Did you think that BB would not be able to crack your code?
Govan: (giggles) I never even thought about it. I just knew that we wanted to get rid of Ben and his minions.
Davina: But why? Is Ben a threat to Shabby?
Govan: Are you joking? No one is a threat to Shabby. Shabby is going to win and Ben is just rubbing everyone the wrong way.
Davina: Do you think there is a chance that Shabby and Keeva will become a couple? Will there FINALLY be a gay romance in the BB house that will prove to the nation that Channel 4 is a leader in providing thought provoking and diverse entertainment?
Govan: I don't think Keeva is interested, to be honest. Unless, of course, there is nothing else that will provide Shabby with airtime.
Davina: Thanks, Govan! You have been a brilliant housemate! Join me on BBBM on E4 where we will pobe a bit deeper with Goven (gurns).
loving the gurning 
