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I looked to see if there was another thread about this anywhere but couldn`t find one, so thought I`d start one.

Right, I`ll get the ball rolling... I do hope my question doesn`t offend anyone who is gay, it`s not meant too in any any way. It`s honestly a genuine question that I`ve always wondered about but have never dared ask in case I upset anyone.
(Can`t you just tell I`m a woman of a certain Age!!! Red Face)

My Daughter and Son-in-law know a lovely couple who happen to be gay, and, they both dress in a very masculine way, so that, from a distance you could quite easily mistake them for men.

My question is, even although their preferences are for women, why do they try to look like men?

I know it sounds stupid, but it`s always puzzled me, and I`m afraid I haven`t got the nerve to ask them. Red Face

Replies sorted oldest to newest

quote:
Originally posted by Hicky:
Hi Latecomer.Wave

Good question.

Firstly, I'm not female and not Gay, but maybe they are dressing not as females because they don't want to look attractive to men, but as dressing more as men maybe they seem more attractive to females.
Only a thought of course, could be wrong.


That`s a good point Hicky, but if they`re not attracted to men in the first place, why would they try to look like men?

Although I see what you mean about not wanting to attract men...
L
quote:
Originally posted by Latecomer:
quote:
Originally posted by Hicky:
Hi Latecomer.Wave

Good question.

Firstly, I'm not female and not Gay, but maybe they are dressing not as females because they don't want to look attractive to men, but as dressing more as men maybe they seem more attractive to females.
Only a thought of course, could be wrong.


That` a good point Hicky, but if they`re not attracted to men in the first place, why would they try to look like men?

They want to look like men so they are attractive to women.

They aren't attracted to men, that's why they dress as men.
Hicky
quote:
Originally posted by Hicky:
quote:
Originally posted by fairy_suzie:
quote:
Originally posted by Hicky:
I suppose we could sort this out if someone asked them.

Not me though.Big Grin

And Latecomer hasn't got the nerve.

Anyone with the nerve?


Point me in the right direction I'll ask Big Grin

You Dare Devil you.Big Grin
All you need now is to know who to ask.Big Grin


Lol. I wish they came on here, then I could sit back and find out... Big Grin
L
quote:
Originally posted by Hicky:
quote:
Originally posted by fairy_suzie:
quote:
Originally posted by Hicky:
I suppose we could sort this out if someone asked them.

Not me though.Big Grin

And Latecomer hasn't got the nerve.

Anyone with the nerve?


Point me in the right direction I'll ask Big Grin

You Dare Devil you.Big Grin
All you need now is to know who to ask.Big Grin


I'm working on it lol, daughter has a gay friend who doesn't mind answering this kind of thing, she's a teenager so it may be a while before she gets back to me Laugh Big Grin
F
Hiya Peeps Hug
Have got the answer back Big Grin

So for Latecomer's curiousity and others who have been reading this

In the majority of cases in all relationships there is usually a dominant partner whether straight or gay. So the reason for dressing in this style is to purely express that they want to be dominant in the relationship. The same as you get gay men dressing girly they are expressing that they are looking for a dominant man. Now in latecomer's case you have 2 that are dominant. But I did say in most cases, even in straight couples you can get 2 dominant people, which in my experience with some friends doesn't usually work too well.

So in short it's to express the role they wish to take in a relationship Big Grin

Hope this helps Hug

Now there's a question Mike that could take some research Laugh Not unless someone already knows the answer Big Grin
F
quote:
Originally posted by fairy_suzie:
Hiya Peeps Hug
Have got the answer back Big Grin

So for Latecomer's curiousity and others who have been reading this

In the majority of cases in all relationships there is usually a dominant partner whether straight or gay. So the reason for dressing in this style is to purely express that they want to be dominant in the relationship. The same as you get gay men dressing girly they are expressing that they are looking for a dominant man. Now in latecomer's case you have 2 that are dominant. But I did say in most cases, even in straight couples you can get 2 dominant people, which in my experience with some friends doesn't usually work too well.

So in short it's to express the role they wish to take in a relationship Big Grin

Hope this helps Hug

Now there's a question Mike that could take some research Laugh Not unless someone already knows the answer Big Grin


Thanks for that fairy-suzie (I LOVE your user name by the way!!!)
That makes sense, as they are both what you could describe as rather dominant people.

They`ve been together for years though, so it obviously works for them. Smiler

Sorry Mike, I`ve absolutely no idea, but I`m sure there will be someone who can answer that one...
L
And now to Mike's question. I don't know the answer but it's not just pubic hair which is limited in length, it's also hair under the armpit and hair elsewhere other than on the head.

There's an interesting article on hair growth at http://www.pg.com/science/haircare/hair_twh_4.htm but it doesn't give an answer. It looks as if there are 3 stages starting with the growing stage. I'm guessing that the growing stage is just much shorter than for scalp hair.
El Loro
quote:
Originally posted by fairy_suzie:

In the majority of cases in all relationships there is usually a dominant partner whether straight or gay. So the reason for dressing in this style is to purely express that they want to be dominant in the relationship. The same as you get gay men dressing girly they are expressing that they are looking for a dominant man. Now in latecomer's case you have 2 that are dominant. But I did say in most cases, even in straight couples you can get 2 dominant people, which in my experience with some friends doesn't usually work too well.

So in short it's to express the role they wish to take in a relationship Big Grin



Actually, that's a myth perpetuated by straight people, who assume that gay people's relationships follow the same rules as straight people's.
Most lesbian couples I know don't have a 'butch' and a 'femme' partner; and none of the gay men I know have that sort of division either.

The two women in Latecomer's post both have a gender expression that is in the masculine end of the spectrum. Gender expression is separate from sexual orientation (although most straight people confuse the two), which is why you can have crossdressing men who are completely straight, and men who are totally gay, but appear macho and 'straight'.

Big Grin
Sarum
quote:
Originally posted by Sarum:
quote:
Originally posted by fairy_suzie:

In the majority of cases in all relationships there is usually a dominant partner whether straight or gay. So the reason for dressing in this style is to purely express that they want to be dominant in the relationship. The same as you get gay men dressing girly they are expressing that they are looking for a dominant man. Now in latecomer's case you have 2 that are dominant. But I did say in most cases, even in straight couples you can get 2 dominant people, which in my experience with some friends doesn't usually work too well.

So in short it's to express the role they wish to take in a relationship Big Grin



Actually, that's a myth perpetuated by straight people, who assume that gay people's relationships follow the same rules as straight people's.
Most lesbian couples I know don't have a 'butch' and a 'femme' partner; and none of the gay men I know have that sort of division either.

The two women in Latecomer's post both have a gender expression that is in the masculine end of the spectrum. Gender expression is separate from sexual orientation (although most straight people confuse the two), which is why you can have crossdressing men who are completely straight, and men who are totally gay, but appear macho and 'straight'.

Big Grin


Hi Sarum. I remember you from the old forum.

How`s life been for you since your surgery? (Hope I`m asking the right person...)

Thanks for explaining all that, I think I understand it. (I`ve only got a little brain, lol.)
It`s certainly a lot more complex than I thought, but then human nature is certainly that isn`t it!!!
L
quote:
Originally posted by Sarum:
quote:
Originally posted by fairy_suzie:

In the majority of cases in all relationships there is usually a dominant partner whether straight or gay. So the reason for dressing in this style is to purely express that they want to be dominant in the relationship. The same as you get gay men dressing girly they are expressing that they are looking for a dominant man. Now in latecomer's case you have 2 that are dominant. But I did say in most cases, even in straight couples you can get 2 dominant people, which in my experience with some friends doesn't usually work too well.

So in short it's to express the role they wish to take in a relationship Big Grin



Actually, that's a myth perpetuated by straight people, who assume that gay people's relationships follow the same rules as straight people's.
Most lesbian couples I know don't have a 'butch' and a 'femme' partner; and none of the gay men I know have that sort of division either.

The two women in Latecomer's post both have a gender expression that is in the masculine end of the spectrum. Gender expression is separate from sexual orientation (although most straight people confuse the two), which is why you can have crossdressing men who are completely straight, and men who are totally gay, but appear macho and 'straight'.

Big Grin


I'm relieved you answered the question Sarum, as I was trying to put words together to make sense but failed. Big Grin My daughter is lesbian, and has always dressed in a more masculine way eg. jeans, shirts etc and always wears her hair very short and not in a particularly feminine style. She just isn't interested in anything feminine such as jewelry, makeup, nice shoes, just prefers to wear trainers all the time. She's been like this ever since the start of puberty. I knew full well it has nothing to do with attracting a partner as she has never been interested in having a relationship with another woman and probably never will. It goes much deeper than that and you explained it so eloquently.
B
quote:
Originally posted by Latecomer:


Hi Sarum. I remember you from the old forum.

How`s life been for you since your surgery? (Hope I`m asking the right person...)

Thanks for explaining all that, I think I understand it. (I`ve only got a little brain, lol.)
It`s certainly a lot more complex than I thought, but then human nature is certainly that isn`t it!!!


Hiya; yes, c'est moi.

Life is mostly good, thank you; I have had a few issues lately (old wounds, not surgery-related) but I'm getting on top of them.

And yes; humans are complicated, especially when it comes to sex and gender. It's not as polarised as most people seem to think it is Big Grin
Sarum
quote:
Originally posted by *BB*:


I'm relieved you answered the question Sarum, as I was trying to put words together to make sense but failed. Big Grin My daughter is lesbian, and has always dressed in a more masculine way eg. jeans, shirts etc and always wears her hair very short and not in a particularly feminine style. She just isn't interested in anything feminine such as jewelry, makeup, nice shoes, just prefers to wear trainers all the time. She's been like this ever since the start of puberty. I knew full well it has nothing to do with attracting a partner as she has never been interested in having a relationship with another woman and probably never will. It goes much deeper than that and you explained it so eloquently.


Thank you BB.

Apparently I have a bit of a knack for stringing words together...I don't know, I just say or write what's going through my head Big Grin
Sarum
quote:
Originally posted by Well-Wisher:
Alot of heterosexual women dress like men while
alot of lesbians don't dress like men, it's just a matter of personal taste. Men's clothes are more casual and often more practical.

Furthermore a lot of straight men like dressing up as women. Eddie Izzard is an example of a straight man who likes womens clothes.




^Yes, here's a picture of a Lesbian Couple.
Doc Holiday
quote:
Originally posted by Sarum:
quote:
Originally posted by Latecomer:


Hi Sarum. I remember you from the old forum.

How`s life been for you since your surgery? (Hope I`m asking the right person...)

Thanks for explaining all that, I think I understand it. (I`ve only got a little brain, lol.)
It`s certainly a lot more complex than I thought, but then human nature is certainly that isn`t it!!!


Hiya; yes, c'est moi.

Life is mostly good, thank you; I have had a few issues lately (old wounds, not surgery-related) but I'm getting on top of them.

And yes; humans are complicated, especially when it comes to sex and gender. It's not as polarised as most people seem to think it is Big Grin


Glad to hear you`re getting on top of those issues.

You deserve to have a "happy ever after" ending, after everything you`ve had to face.

Hope everything works out for you...
L
I have another that has always puzzled me but have never had the nerve to ask.
I hope that any black forum members will not be offended by my question as none is intended.
My memory went back to the only black car I have ever owned - a 1968 Ford Corsair.
It was absolutely unbearable to be in during the summer-the colour just soaked up the heat like a sponge.
I am sure anyone who has owned a car with black leather/vinyl seats will know about how hot they get and how painful they can be to sit on once warmed through by the sun!.
So my question relates to black skin.
Is it necessary to take as much care re: sunburn as white skin or even more so?
And where white skin can go red and peel - does black skin just get darker or can it also peel?
Many thanks in advance for your answers!
Smiler
MikeOxlong
quote:
Originally posted by MikeOxlong:
I have another that has always puzzled me but have never had the nerve to ask.
I hope that any black forum members will not be offended by my question as none is intended.
My memory went back to the only black car I have ever owned - a 1968 Ford Corsair.
It was absolutely unbearable to be in during the summer-the colour just soaked up the heat like a sponge.
I am sure anyone who has owned a car with black leather/vinyl seats will know about how hot they get and how painful they can be to sit on once warmed through by the sun!.
So my question relates to black skin.
Is it necessary to take as much care re: sunburn as white skin or even more so?
And where white skin can go red and peel - does black skin just get darker or can it also peel?
Many thanks in advance for your answers!
Smiler


I`m no expert I`m afraid, but I`ve got a cousin of mixed race, and although he can stay out in the sun much longer than I can, (I`m a redhead) he still burns if he`s not careful, and uses sun cream to help protect his skin..

Also, he told me that people of African origin have problems with dry skin, and most of his friends are great fans of Palmers cocoa butter to help combat that.
L
quote:
Originally posted by Mike Strutter:
Why have all the Grey Foreigner Squirrels killed off the Natural Red Squirrels....???

Can we have a RED SQUIRREL NATIONAL PARTY ?????


Hi Mike .. Wave

The grey squirrels are nasty little sods ... my aunt lives in Surrey and for years she used to have lots of red squirrels in her garden ... they never gave any trouble and were pretty to look at ... She says the same ... the grey squirrels have killed all the little red 'uns off and they are nasty beasts who have even been known to attack her dog ... Eeker
Shar

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