Ahahahahaha!!

Nothing that I have done can top that

OMG Pirate..... That will take some beating !!  

I've just read this out to my daughter over the phone...she belly laughed 

 Pirate, you crack me up! It could only happen to you!

I read it out to Mr Baz ...and ditto  

Oh noes! Pirate that is priceless 

Poor step son though!

I once gave one of our kids a huge love bite while playing rough and tumble. At the time she was about 5yrs old. It happened so fast  - suddenly it was just there!!

Into the breach I decided the best form of defence was attack so I wrote an open letter to the teachers. I've forgotten the bulk of it but the gist was,

" . . . she is an honourable girl and was definitely not 'up to no good'.

She is not a trollop ... apparently"

This post comes across all wrong Saint! I think it might be how you've told it but.... well, just but..... 

That's a shame cos it was hilarious at the time and the teachers all saw the funny side.

Guess you had to be there

I think that's it.

As for me... Well I have some really stupid moments... I wouldnt class myself as stupid/thick on the whole but boy i do kick myself on occasion thinking that's exactly how i've come across! 

I remember working in a hair dressers as a teen and being sent to the butchers down the high street for chicken lips.... Yup! I went and tried to order them  

I once went into a phone store and started asking lots of in depth questions about Virgin Media bundles.

The guy seemed unenthusiastic and a little vague.

When I left it said Vodafone above the shop

THAT was by far the most embarrassing thing I've done

Voted Lib Dem in 2010

Misplace my keys practically every single day

Hired the video of "Left Behind" staring Nicholas Cage

Obviously lots worse things than those but I'm too ashamed to admit them!

When i was about 12 I leaned over a table lamp and spat on the bulb,,gawd knows why.. of course it exploded. i was fine...still stupid though.

left behind is possibly the worst film ive EVER watched

That's the sickest thing I've ever read on here 

Quite, how the hell you might 'accidentally' give a 5yr old child a love bite I don't know....shudders

Twas all quite innocent rough n tumble if I'm completely honest.

I have no idea how it happened.

But everyone laughed and saw it as the accident it was.

Not everything is sinister

Was walking with a friend in Durham

It had been raining and the cobbles were wet.

My friend walks way too fast and I ended up doing (virtually) the splits in a busy street.

After getting up I remember shouting,

"That's it - stop - just stop!!!"

Once when I worked at a supermarket there was this girl I had a crush on. I thought one of the best ways to get her attention was to make her laugh. So I told her she was fat.

It didn't really work.

when I was 16 working in presto pricing up it was the sticker gun thing then..in the freezer bit my ex thought it would be cool to chuck me in the freezer I looked like a right muppet trying to get out

So you pre-empted the non sinister nature of it by writing a defensive missive to the teachers? And you used the word trollop in an ironic way about a 5 year old to minimise the (non) sinister aspect of it? Hmm O.K.

ignores the fake account with aplomb

Did I mention the day my sister started work at a delicatessen?

She saw a full block of Stilton cheese.

Thinking it was 'off' - she threw it out !!

Worth a fortune !!!

Luckily she didn't get fired  

I'm confused. Renton, are you a teacher?

No - it trained as one

I support people with physical and learning disabilities.

Have you decided what your future holds?

Oh don't mind me. I'm not the one, fake or otherwise, putting my business out there in a thread about doing stupid things totally misjudging your audience and then trying to justify something so distasteful by passing it off as humour. I'd say the second most stupid thing you've done is massively overshare your love bites and trollop letters in about a child in here. 

That's not aplomb. This is more like it  or 

 With a bit of luck, the teachers were temporarily laughing through embarrassment/ shock/ disbelief then will have come to their senses and promptly reported it to the school's designated senior person for child protection. It actually gets worse, not only did he do it but now states he doesn't remember how it 'accidentally' happened. Shudders some more  

I certainly hope so.

No answer Aimee, as it should be "at the age where it's better to know to give my young niece a 'joke' love bite".

Renton that really is the weirdest crap you have come out with. I'm guessing after your teacher training it didnt go any further because your CBA wasnt great.

And in all honesty Renton, after that story, if you were my brother or relative, I would not allow you anywhere near any child of mine. 

Very odd story to tell thinking it's funny.

Amazing what folks can make out of what was just a rather silly post !!! 

I have to admit when I read the post about the accidental love bite I immediately flashed back to being at school and kids mucking about making fake love bites on their mates neck by pinching and twisting the skin. . only took a second to do and they did one on me as well which I was not pleased with having to explain away to parents what with only being a kid..

The letter to the school was a very bad idea, stupid parenting, not something I'd want to be admitting. too, if indeed it actually happened. Looks like a wind up to me, in bad taste.

Ate stones as a kid

Set fire to rolled up newspaper and smoked them as a kid

That's all I can think of for now.

Fair enough, but this was with other children, yes? Not someone in loco parentis?

I agree, the ironic letter is just every shade of wrong. At least the poster put a blush at the end of his post, it is shameful. 

not sure what you mean there. .but if you mean a step parent then should every step parent avoid rough and tumble play with kids? Isn't that a natural part of play, and to be encouraged, or should step parents avoid contact at all cost?

Lets face it whether the post was true or not or just done in bad taste to wind people up, which it succeeded in doing, you can give a kid any sort of mark in play and get just as many back. . even blowing a raspberry on a child's belly could result in some sort of mark. .  it's a twisted and sad world where, at the first port of call, the very worst is thought