The taxi drew up outside Guy's house in one of the plushest parts of London.The butler opened the door and welcomed them in.
The hall was enormous with a huge crescent staircase all in marble.Either side of the hall were two double doors that were open and led into very large lounges.The walls were festooned with pictures of Guys exwife,it was plain for all to see it must have been a very bitter divorce,for every picture had a Hitler moustache etched in indellible ink above her surgically enhanced upper lip.
"I hardly recognize anybody here Justin.I know Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey over there,but nobody else."
"Never mind Carla,just remember,don't speak to the press,you'll know who they are,because they'll all be inebriated by now.See that man over there in the corner."
Carla looked in the direction that Justin was pointing.There was a man in a crumpled suit sliding down the wall totally out for the count still clutching an empty bottle of champagne.
"He's the editor of a top British newspaper."
"Well Justin you seem to know everyone."
"Yes Carla,trouble is they don't know me."
Just then who should be walking towards them was

Smiling Simon Cowell - she decided this was her chance!!!

She leapt onto a nearby table and launched into a stunning rendition of "My Way" ....the room fell silent .... she was giving it her all.....Simon was gazing intently at her, head on one side.....then the roof caved in

When Carla came round she was in hospital,the doctor was standing over her.
"I'm doctor Jones,so sorry but we have had to pump your stomach out as you were obviously given a Mickey Finn,you have probably been halucinating."
Justin was sat by her side.
"Carla I'm so glad you are alright,I think it must have been Ivor Biggen,he was ogling you from the moment we arrived.How are you feeling now?"
"I have a monumental headache and my stomach feels washed out,no pun intended."

The hospital released Carla later that day,with a note for her GP.Justin drove her home made her some soup then left promising to call her later.
The phone rang as she closed the door behind Justin.
"Hello Carla,this is Jeffrey from Jeffrey, Jeffrey and Jeffrey.I am pleased to tell you your offer of £250,000 has been accepted for Marie Antoinettes bed.You certainly are one lucky lady,it's magnificent a real bargain,with only the faintest smell of urine".