...a labradoodle flew out of nowhere and landed on her chimney dropping a silver pouch at her feet.

Harriet bent down to retrieve the pouch which was glittering in the mid-day sun and while checking no-one was watching emptied the contents onto her beautiful garden table ( a right bargain from B & Q- 65% off and it had lovely wrought iron legs! ).

Inside the pouch was a silver dagger, a toblerone and a.....

mars bar she ate it really fast and choked bill her neighbour slapped her in the back and she coughed up goldust ...

Bill was aghast!!! What could this mean? Harriet didn't know what to say - she was so embarrassed!! After a few seconds they both harrumphed nervously and pretended not to notice the pile of sparkling dust at Harriet's feet

Bill looked curiously at the dagger and picked it up gingerly. Squinting in the bright sunshine he examined the intricate carving on the blade and began to recite the words out loud ......

Whoever reads this inscription must forever.....

Promise to hand the dagger in to the local Police Station...and spread the Word...."Daggers are Dangerous things".....

Bill nodded in agreement with this wise statement and turned to Harriet who was busy tickling the purple labradoodle's tummy.

"I'll hand it in on my way back from Tesco's ...errm but I have to say this is just a wee bit weird! "

Harriet looked up to reply and gazed in astonishment over Bill's shoulder at the HUGE.....

Black cloud that seemed to be following him everywhere. Even when he headed for the.......

Police Station, laden down with Tesco bags........Bill felt as if he was being followed .

Suddenly the cloud broke....poor old Bill got soaked, then he saw a lot of Silver Coins at his feet..."Its true" he said as he picked them up...."Every Cloud does have a Silver Lining".....

He gathered the silver coins and put them in his tesco bag and said to himself "this is indeed my lucky day ...

but hang on a minute. How and where can I spend all theses silver threepennies.? He took off his sock and filled it up, thinking to himself..........

"After I have handed the Dagger in at the Police Station, I am going to take Harriet on a round the World trip with all this Silver"..........

However, after he had handed in the dagger at the Police station, an observant PC noticed the lump in his pocket: "What's all this 'ere then?" he asked Bill. Bill took out the sock filled with the silver threepenny coins and realised . . . .

He'd have to tell a good story - cause the truth was too mad. Bill had to do a great deal of talking to get himself out of that situation ....and he wasn't too sure he'd fully gotten away with it when the policeman bid him goodbye

However Bill had a small problem. There was something he had to tell Harriet before he could call Thomas Cook. He wasn't quite sure how Harriet would take his revelation, but she seemed like a woman who could open her mind and believe the unbelievable!

Having made his decision he turned back into Tescos and purchased a luxury bouquet of lilies and roses (luckily reduced to £5.99 just moments earlier ) then strode purposely towards the car park, Harriet and the rest of his life........

.... was just about to begin. However, before leaving Tesco's he decided to fill up with petrol, then, as he was waiting in the queue for the pumps . . . .

he saw something that just blew his mind...

. . . the man in front of him was already filling his car, pump in one hand . . .

and there was Harriet sitting in the front seat...looking at him lovingly..........

. . . . . "damn", he said, as he looked at her, "I forgot to buy some . . . . ."

Sausages!

...for our supper. He saw a boy standing here, gave his some money and off the boy went to get the sausages.....

Meanwhile sitting in the front of her long lost brother's car Harriet was grinning from ear to ear having decided not to question the events of the day - it was all too mad to even think about She'd think about what to do about the purple labradoodle tomorrow.

She hoped that Herman, her brother, would get on well with Bill because she had high hopes that Bill was starting to like her as much as she him.

She was thinking of having a little dinner party to introduce them, and what she might cook, when she lifted her eyes and saw Bill standing across the forecourt and he.................

was staring into the eyes of another woman! in a romantic way

Typical man ........................

.......Harriet thought.
And then and there she decided to leave him.

She also decided to foreswear all men forever and "bat for the other side".

So she went off to the hairdresser's and had her hair cut short and bought a pair of dungarees - purple to match the labradoodle.

Thus equipped she went off in search of...

the meaning of life.

She know it would be a long and winding road - but she'd always liked the Beatles. Mind made up she booted up her laptop and googled..........

but as she did, the labradoodle having earlier pinched the sausages starting eating them. And we all know what happens when labradoodles eat sausages!

The labradoodle , having gobbled the sausages swelled up to double his size like a large ballooon -

They both started to float upwards and upwards in the strong wind. Harriet just managed to keep hold of his lead.

Harriet looked down at the pin people surrying like little ants below her

Where would it all end

Suddenly......

a woodpecker out for an afternoon flight....saw what he thought was a large round purple tree, as woody was hungry he hammered away.........until......

. . . a loud voice shouted out "Ow, gerrof! I'm not a tree you dozy woodpecker!" - it was Harriet in her purple dungarees, to which she'd added a couple of leafy branches as camouflage in the hope of not being spotted by . . .

anyone. Thinking about it now she wondered why she'd ever thought that purple was the way to go

Fortunately she remembered what she had in her pocket.She smiled grimly and......

Took out her purple matching mobile phone and called for help.

The woodpecker had made a small puncture in the labradoodle - who was yelping with pain.

Hariet started to go down again - the ground getting closer and the police helicopter following her movements.

When suddenly.......

in a blinding flash of light!...

She saw Bill...standing below..legs apart..standing firm...arms outstretched, looking lovingly up at her. She dropped from the sky with a smile on her face...........

. . . . and tears in her eyes because . . .

....she had landed in a nettle patch.

Bill helped her to her feet and handed her a dock leaf for the stings. Harriet accepted it gratefully.

The helicopter landed close by and three armed police leapt out and came running towards them

Bill and Harriet looked at each other and...

farted.....

Bill and Harriet legged it across the fields into a dense forest .
They could hear the armed Police's thudding footsteps getting closer and closer.

Suddenly the ground gave way beneath them and......

they found themselves tumbling down, and down, and down, and down, for at least 13ft, till they came to a thumping halt on the dank cold floor of what seemed to be a cellar.

Untangling herself from Bill Harriet winced with pain and began rubbing her leg whilst lamenting the state of her newly purchased purple dungarees. Suddenly she stopped completely still when........