I`m with Low on this. I understand why you`re angry but contacting his wife could cause hurt to the whole family. The kids could be badly affected.  I`m sure you wouldn`t want that Brummie.
It`s difficult, but the best thing to do, imo, is to walk away.

I have called him an asshole more than once this week.  I really do appreciate all the comments here, I'm sure he's cacking his pants just up the road from here at work whilst his wife and kids are none the wiser south of Brum.  I AM going to feck him off - AFTER I've made him squirm a bit (like he's most probably doing tonight at work) AND once I've had a convo with his wife, over why she has a problem with him speaking to me (a friend from WELL over 20 years ago, who we BOTH have a lot of friends in common - should be interesting lol)  sorry for the ittalics - dunno how that happened

Barmy,

The only input I can give you is, I have a friend, she's been married a year longer than me, I've been married for 31 years. She has never been happy in her marriage but loves her husband, so she wanders, she works on the buses and regularly strays from her marital commitments. I asked her how she could be unfaithful without feeling guilty, she replied "Treat some men like they treat women, "Find em, F88k em, forget em."

Scotty - bloody hell - my intention isnt to hurt his wife OR his kids - I just want to know WHY she has a problem with ME when he talks to LOADS of girls online.  I definitely defintely do NOT want to cause crap 'at home' so to speak.   Yes I do want to put the jeepers-creepers up him but no way in hell do I want to break the family up

Oh please don't do it.  She's had to put up with the fecker, she knows what he's like, please don't be the source of more pain    Of course he was flipping nice, he knows his patter, he's done it a million times before.  Trust me missus.  It might be tempting, but he's no good.  You know it too deep down 

HER husband is grooming you, I'd be pissed off if I was her too!

And you snogged him  

Edit: In reply to Essies post.


Perhaps it's the way of the world but I'm at odds with it.

I believe in loyalty, honour and other such bs.

Look where it got me.


I should really try to be more of an ar$eh*le but it's difficult to surrender belief in so-called virtues. I'm a hopeless case.

To be honest, you shouldn't be anywhere near another woman's husband.  I don't really have that much sympathy.  And requesting her as a friend is just wrong.

I completely agree CO.. That is why you'll be alright.  Sorry you're still hurting dude

Fracas - I know u are most probably right - but why pick on ME???  He's got tons of women on his FB!!!
I think I was probably a bit blinded by the fact he HE looked for me - I never EVER dreamt of looking for him - I'd completely forgotten about him lol, but he WAS my first 'boyfriend' and, apart from looking easily his 40 years (unlike me lol) - he really hasnt changed (OK  he's now married with 3 kids).  The point IS.... I didnt go looking for HIM lol.... I never EVER gave him a  second thought.....  and NOW it looks like I've got some deranged woman on my trail and a gobshite two-timing backstabbing jerk of an ex
(and even at 40 years old, with lots and LOTS of track record behind me - I've learned eff-all)
xx

Barmybrummie his wife obviously suspects something and she's not entirely wrong to, is she ?

I feel sorry for her tbh to be married to such an ar$e.

Brummie I wasn`t suggesting that was your intention! I was thinking that it could cause problems within the family, say, for instance, if they start rowing about it in front of the kids...that was all I meant.
I wish you all the best Brummie. I hope you find peace of mind.

I'm not picking on you, I'm telling you what you already know.  You looked for advice (and maybe permission?) but you're not anyone special, no matter if he was your first boyfriend, he is playing you and his missus and he is no good.  Not picking on you, just telling the truth.  And keep away from other womens' husbands.  How would you feel if it was you on the wrong end of it?  All he wants is his oats, is it worth the pain you would cause?

no no no no NO!!!!  I DIDNT snog him - it was a peck on the lips, a hug and thats ALL!!!!  He left 'excited' coz I pretty much chucked him out.  To me it WAS nothing more than old friends getting together - that it what I'm trying to tell you all.  I feel totally 'abused' actually.  I offered friendship and he wanted (obviously) a lot more - I wasnt the one cheatng on his wife and kids - I would never - and have never EVER done so  - this is what I tried to tell him last night, and he was all for it, understanding etc, and now he has phoned me once tonight in a panic in case I tell his wife.... FFFFFFFFSSSS

well... was thinking the same Comrade - he's obviously got form for it...
how are you these days anyhow?

Don`t change a thing about you Comrade...you`ve got it right.

Of course he has.  Wake up.

I don't think you are a hopeless case. I've been with my husband since I was 13, I've known him since I was 5, we were meant to be. You haven't met the woman you are meant to be with yet, but she's out there sweetheart, you just haven't met her yet.

Fracas!!!!  I wasnt saying that YOU were picking on me hun - deffo not.  What I was saying was, WHY would his wife have a problem with ME in particularl, when he's got loads of girls on his FB??
I have got no intention actually of ever seeing the guy again, OR breaking up his family or anything like that.  Like I said, he was here last night and he was 'up for it' and I told him no way and he wondered why and I pointed to his wedding ring for a start, and then I get all this shit again about how they havent done it for  2 years blah blah blah.  I'm NOT a homewrecker, I have kiddys of my own and I have respect for myself and... AND I would not ever EVER do something to someone else like that, I wouldnt like it done to me and us sisters need to stick together. and your only young still, if your not happy then get counselling or leave, I am not the answer (thats pretty much the convo we had last night)
and then TODAY he has cut some ties....
thats a bloke for u lol xxx

I'm not sure Scotty, life seems to be sending me out a pretty strong message... 'nice guys finish last'.

I'm off to bed in a min - but before I go....


what u doing Friday Comrade....

Nice guys are hard to find, and are not last, they are the best

i second that Lowon!!!!

I think you should sever ties Barmybrummie.

If he phones hang up on him.

Delete from FB.

Ignore on the street.

Because he is a big fat pillock and he's done it a million times.  I know you're angry, but honestly the best thing to do is ignore him, that will annoy him more than anything I mean, really really annoy him.   Just be thankful you're not his poor missus.  What an eejit, but she knows it anyway.

  Nope, absolutely not, you're blue right now but you've got the right idea.  Blinking heck, life can be a bitch sometimes?

thank you all for your advice and chit chat tonight - I really appreciated it - am off to bed now,  big bed all 2 myself - BLISS!!!!
N'nite kiddys - god bless n sweet dreams
thanx again xxx

I think that is good advice  being ignored really grates

Nanight BB, seriously, ignoring him would drive him mental! 

goodnight all

Sorry ro hijack the thread.

I just do feel that virtue (contrary to what I was taught) is a handicap in this world.

JFK, Robert Kennedy, Martin L King Jr. All people who tried to change things for the better. Killed.

Look at the head of any major corporation, men of virtue ?


Brushing up on being a c**t, I think I'll start with something easy like being ill mannered to a shopkeeper and work my way up/down from there

CO, don't go changing dude, honestly you're talking bullshit.  We'd see through your c*nt act anyway, and see the real you so you're stuck with it

Nice to see you back, you've been missed    I need to talk poker with somebody

I heard Phil Ivey is out the WSOP.

Seen this btw... ?

Goodnight LowonIQ, I'm off to me bed too 

Oh shit I was trying to go to bobo then CO 

Another 5 minutes

I truely understand why you`re feeling that way but believe me, they don`t. You might not think so right now Comrade but, your time for happiness will come again. It may be a long road but you`ll get there.
I`ve experienced the hurt you`re feeling and thought I`d never see a bright day again, but I did. That day will come for you Comrade

And that is precisely why you are missed Comrade, that reply really made me laugh

Good to have you back

Oh the threads taken a happy turn while I was typing oot ma serious message!

Typical!

HOW COULD YOU MISREAD YOUR HAND?

Jesus, that breaks your heart.  I mean REALLY?