quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
My daughter had done well in the 11+, so she went to the Grammar School. My boy didn't make it in though (and I'm not sure it would have been right for him anyway)

Aww Ditty as long as they are happy that is the main thing - glad you have got your son into a decent school - Does he have far to travel??/

Its a 10 mile drive. I'm not sure about buses yet. But two other boys from his class are going there, so we have agreed to do a car rota between us three mums.

I don't think my boy would have liked grammar at all. Its gonna be enough of a shock to him to go up to secondary.

I had to more or less do Year 8 with my daughter... the gap was that big. She was one of 8 kids in her year that didn't go to the local private school. And whilst I know it was a big jump up for all the girls... I had to reteach her somethings (like maths... spider division grrrrrr).

A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 a.m. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. Upon hearing the sailor's lame explanation for his tardiness, the officer ordered the sailor, “Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!”

The sailor began to pick up the broom and commence performing his charge. As he began to sweep, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to
leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss. The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result. He couldn't get any cleaning done because he can only sweep at the chain once or twice before the blasted bird returns.

When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor. “What in the heck have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?” barked the chief.

“Honest, chief,” came the reply, “I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!”

PIRATE'S INSURANCE
After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker's compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related. "How did you get the wooden leg?" asked the agent. In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg." The agent replied, "That is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand?" "Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand," said the pirate. "That's also work related. Now how did you lose your eye?" asked the agent. The pirate replied, "Well matey, I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!" "What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?" said the agent. "It were the first day with me hook!"

DUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee

A drunken sailor on liberty got into a big mud puddle in the street and was looking for something there.

Soon two other sailors came over and asked him: "Hey, bud, what are you looking for?"

"You better give me a hand, men," said the drunk.

The new arrivals walked into the puddle too and set about searching something unknown. At last the first drunk got out of the puddle and exclaimed: "I've found it!"

"What did you find?"

"The shore!" he exclaimed.

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
Its a 10 mile drive. I'm not sure about buses yet. But two other boys from his class are going there, so we have agreed to do a car rota between us three mums.

I don't think my boy would have liked grammar at all. Its gonna be enough of a shock to him to go up to secondary.

I had to more or less do Year 8 with my daughter... the gap was that big. She was one of 8 kids in her year that didn't go to the local private school. And whilst I know it was a big jump up for all the girls... I had to reteach her somethings (like maths... spider division grrrrrr).

All the rest went to prvate shool _ WOW - very few do here -the comps are pretty good to be fair - then they go to Yale college in the sixth form - they do all types of courses but quite a few go to Oxbridge and Durham

I think you are better saving your money TBH

From a passenger cruise ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. The cruise ship captain replied, "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

quote:

Originally posted by j0anne:
From a passenger cruise ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. The cruise ship captain replied, "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."

LOL Evening Sailors

You've been busy Joanne.

I'm back Ros.

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat". "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table". "Hey, why are all these cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course! They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. this went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"

A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."

A panhandler was caught trying to sneak aboard a Princess liner about to embark on a three-day trip to the Bahamas. He was caught by the Purser who threw him off the ship telling him, ... Beggars can't be cruisers.

do we get a lifeboat practise

indeed capin

quote:

Originally posted by j0anne:
do we get a lifeboat practise

We haven't had so far..... we practise sleeping in our cabins and drinking lots of rum though.

quote:

Originally posted by rosgirl:

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
Its a 10 mile drive. I'm not sure about buses yet. But two other boys from his class are going there, so we have agreed to do a car rota between us three mums.

I don't think my boy would have liked grammar at all. Its gonna be enough of a shock to him to go up to secondary.

I had to more or less do Year 8 with my daughter... the gap was that big. She was one of 8 kids in her year that didn't go to the local private school. And whilst I know it was a big jump up for all the girls... I had to reteach her somethings (like maths... spider division grrrrrr).

All the rest went to prvate shool _ WOW - very few do here -the comps are pretty good to be fair - then they go to Yale college in the sixth form - they do all types of courses but quite a few go to Oxbridge and Durham

I think you are better saving your money TBH

The boys grammar here (Colchester Royal Grammar School) is in the top ten... and that is why I don't think my boy stood a chance... competition is fierce. The girls is a good school too, but it doesn't have the rep the boys does. They pride themselves on their oxbridge uptake. (lol.. my daughter doesn't want to go to Oxbridge, so just as well she's not going to the boys grammar for sixth form)

There are a couple of decent secondaries around here... but there is currently a big shake up of schools... two becoming academies... and lots of argy bargy going on. Its a bit of a parental nightmare.

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:

quote:

Originally posted by rosgirl:

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
Its a 10 mile drive. I'm not sure about buses yet. But two other boys from his class are going there, so we have agreed to do a car rota between us three mums.

I don't think my boy would have liked grammar at all. Its gonna be enough of a shock to him to go up to secondary.

I had to more or less do Year 8 with my daughter... the gap was that big. She was one of 8 kids in her year that didn't go to the local private school. And whilst I know it was a big jump up for all the girls... I had to reteach her somethings (like maths... spider division grrrrrr).

All the rest went to prvate shool _ WOW - very few do here -the comps are pretty good to be fair - then they go to Yale college in the sixth form - they do all types of courses but quite a few go to Oxbridge and Durham

I think you are better saving your money TBH

The boys grammar here (Colchester Royal Grammar School) is in the top ten... and that is why I don't think my boy stood a chance... competition is fierce. The girls is a good school too, but it doesn't have the rep the boys does. They pride themselves on their oxbridge uptake. (lol.. my daughter doesn't want to go to Oxbridge, so just as well she's not going to the boys grammar for sixth form)

There are a couple of decent secondaries around here... but there is currently a big shake up of schools... two becoming academies... and lots of argy bargy going on. Its a bit of a parental nightmare.

And once again I have turned the Newmark into a serious thread.... sorrreeee Ducky!

Serious head orfff now I promise.

Joanne... keep spamming nautical crap!! (is good cover for my ramblings!)

The boys will dance whilst you do it...

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
And once again I have turned the Newmark into a serious thread.... sorrreeee Ducky!

Serious head orfff now I promise.

Joanne... keep spamming nautical crap!! (is good cover for my ramblings!)

The boys will dance whilst you do it...

Don't worry Ditty. The Newmark has changed quite a bit since the old days. We have been know to be serious on occasion...and we say hello and goodbye a hell of a lot more now. Damn those Darnies for teaching us manners.

i camnt find anymore my eye has blured
....i think i have motion of the ocean sickness

you have dancing crabs.....does the dr know

quote:

Originally posted by Duckypup:

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
And once again I have turned the Newmark into a serious thread.... sorrreeee Ducky!

Serious head orfff now I promise.

Joanne... keep spamming nautical crap!! (is good cover for my ramblings!)

The boys will dance whilst you do it...

Don't worry Ditty. The Newmark has changed quite a bit since the old days. We have been know to be serious on occasion...and we say hello and goodbye a hell of a lot more now. Damn those Darnies for teaching us manners.

Bout bloomin time... no excuse for higorance

quote:

Originally posted by Baz:

quote:

Originally posted by Duckypup:

quote:

Originally posted by Dirtyprettygirlthing:
And once again I have turned the Newmark into a serious thread.... sorrreeee Ducky!

Serious head orfff now I promise.

Joanne... keep spamming nautical crap!! (is good cover for my ramblings!)

The boys will dance whilst you do it...

Don't worry Ditty. The Newmark has changed quite a bit since the old days. We have been know to be serious on occasion...and we say hello and goodbye a hell of a lot more now. Damn those Darnies for teaching us manners.

Bout bloomin time... no excuse for higorance

Helloooooooo Baz.

quote:

Originally posted by j0anne:
i camnt find anymore my eye has blured
....i think i have motion of the ocean sickness

Ooooh the motion of the ocean. I like that.

quote:

Originally posted by j0anne:
you have dancing crabs.....does the dr know

The crew did try and send me to the doctors (was gonna say the quack then.... til I caught Ducky's stern gaze and bottled it) about them.

But they are soooo cute, I decided to keep em.

They are doing the hornpipe!!

aww cute pet...and cheap to keep

Night Ducky

Night Joanne

Night Ditty

night night rosgirl xx

Ros... it's not a school night COME BAAAAAAACK!


Night Rossy.

Night Ros

Its very mental and random out there tonight.

I like it!

quote:

Originally posted by Duckypup:



The HMS Newmark is back on the high seas.

Welcome aboard me hearties

hilarious

Ahoy, Scurvy Sea Dogs.

Hello

yo ho ho and a bottle of rum ....

Here you go jOanne.



Better find a non alcoholic one for you Scatts.

Oops didn't mean it to be that big.

quote:

Originally posted by EDWARDIAN LIL:

quote:

Originally posted by Duckypup:



The HMS Newmark is back on the high seas.

Welcome aboard me hearties

hilarious

Welcome aboard Lil.

Did they have pirates in Edwardian times?