Erm...could you have parked any closer to the bar?
Good Morning Home Sec. Erm...could you have parked any closer to the bar?
Erm...could you have parked any closer to the bar?
NO you never admit to that!! 
You were sleeping it off had a bad headache and you lay down in the back seat, when some dodgy blokes drove off, then when they saw you hair akimbo and legs all over the place all snuggled up nicely, they got a fright, crashed it, and ran away. You suffered an almighty hangover from concussion and made your own way home and fell asleep in next door's shed and it was only when you finally woke up you had rested, that you started for the medicine cupboard where you hide your booze to remember what REALLY happened. Got that? 
You were sleeping it off had a bad headache and you lay down in the back seat, when some dodgy blokes drove off, then when they saw you hair akimbo and legs all over the place all snuggled up nicely, they got a fright, crashed it, and ran away. You suffered an almighty hangover from concussion and made your own way home and fell asleep in next door's shed and it was only when you finally woke up you had rested, that you started for the medicine cupboard where you hide your booze to remember what REALLY happened. Got that? 
Reference: Dame_Average
I wondered where I'd parked the car on Saturday night
Don't forget you can also claim for your Pay and Display ticket.
She's got a Blue Badge Smarting 
Reference:suzybean
She's got a Blue Badge Smarting
OMG Blue Peter gives out badges way toooooo easily these days.
Bit like the Honours System 
Reference:
Good Morning Home Sec. Erm...could you have parked any closer to the bar?
That was going home Suzy
Reference:
NO you never admit to that!! You were sleeping it off had a bad headache and you lay down in the back seat, when some dodgy blokes drove off, then when they saw you hair akimbo and legs all over the place all snuggled up nicely, they got a fright, crashed it, and ran away. You suffered an almighty hangover from concussion and made your own way home and fell asleep in next door's shed and it was only when you finally woke up you had rested, that you started for the medicine cupboard where you hide your booze to remember what REALLY happened. Got that?
Tiddy is there any chance of you moving to the Home Office, we could do with (anyone) someone that has your skills of perception
Reference:
She's got a Blue Badge Smarting
I've claimed for everything Smarting, in fact I've stapled another 17 sheets to my original expenses claim
Akshuhally...Tiddles has been seconded to the Foreign Office so you'll have to look elsewhere Home Sec.
Reference:
Akshuhally...Tiddles has been seconded to the Foreign Office so you'll have to look elsewhere Home Sec.
Well how rude
Pst Suzy, I've just had a young constable here
He was taking down my particulars... he was rather a nice young (hunk) constable too. Although I am painting the lounge and look like a splattered dalmatian, he did give me a gorgeous smile, or maybe it was a smirk 
Reference:
No comment
I tried that line too El Loro, he was having none of it
Has anyone seen my dog....I left him tied to the railings whilst I popped into the pub for a 4 hour vodka-fest quick wee......
Can't help ya Chief Whip...I'm on my way to RAF Northolt to fly to some country with a beach
Fair do's Foreign Sec....maybe I'll go stagger outside and have a look for him....I'm sure I left him on the corner railings....
Reference:
Has anyone seen my dog....I left him tied to the railings whilst I popped into the pub for a 4 hour vodka-fest quick wee......
That explains my wet feet
I thought Miss S had tipped her bucket over...try Batteresea Dogs home, it was last seen (yelping) wagging it's ass over there 
Reference:
Has anyone seen my dog....I left him tied to the railings whilst I popped into the pub for a 4 hour vodka-fest quick wee......
I chewed through his leash...I'm the only four legged furry allowed at no 10..Hummph!
Reference: The BOSS!
Can't help ya Chief Whip...I'm on my way to RAF Northolt to fly to some country with a beach
*drives like a maniac to catch plane* Wait for me - oops... I'm the beach you're flying with.. right? 
Number 10 Gagastreet? Based in Cloudon
Reference:tiddles
I'm the beach you're flying with.. right?
Reference: Mrs B
Fair do's Foreign Sec....maybe I'll go stagger outside and have a look for him....I'm sure I left him on the corner railings....
Was it wearing a hat in the shape of a car?
hahaha Mrs. B's avi
Fantastic isn't it? All the memories just come flooding back!
All the memories just come flooding back!Reference:
Was it wearing a hat in the shape of a car?
Well....not when I left him, he wasn't....why?
Reference:
hahaha Mrs. B's avi
Dontcha just lurve the Rexy boy??!!!!!
Yeah *hands on hips*
Reference: Blizzie
Was it wearing a hat in the shape of a car?
Reference: MrsB
Well....not when I left him, he wasn't....why?
MrsB, we can't tell whether your post on losing your dog was a joke or that you really have lost your dog. I think Blizzie's post assumed that it was a joke, but I'm sure that Blizzie and everyone here hopes that if you really had lost your dog that you have since found him/her safe and well.
She appears to be over it (if it is true) and is back to Rex lusting
*orders another pint small cocktail* How long is this fabulous and all expenses paid tedious business tripdue to end Mme Suzy? *pervs at the lifeguards*
This BBC news item reminded me of the drinks cabinet on this thread.
Apparently a real MP from Kent recently failed to vote in the House of Commons because "he did not feel it was appropriate to take part in the vote in the early hours of Wednesday because of the amount he had drunk.".He said: "I'm terribly, terribly embarrassed. I apologise unreservedly and I don't plan to drink again at Westminster."
The Conservative MP for Rochester and Strood has the remarkably appropriate name of Mark Reckless.
Apparently a real MP from Kent recently failed to vote in the House of Commons because "he did not feel it was appropriate to take part in the vote in the early hours of Wednesday because of the amount he had drunk.".He said: "I'm terribly, terribly embarrassed. I apologise unreservedly and I don't plan to drink again at Westminster."
The Conservative MP for Rochester and Strood has the remarkably appropriate name of Mark Reckless.
El Loro, they've just added ÂĢ18,000 worth of rare wines to the wine cellar...we should be ok for special occasions.
Sod the special occasions..as deputy PM I say lets drink it now....
Reference:
Sod the special occasions..as deputy PM I say lets drink it now
after giving this considerable 5 seconds thought, I agree lal
Reference:
Unaccushtommedd assh i am .. to. pub liqk squawkkink I thurred tatt
OMG I thought we were on recess I'd claimed a months worth of expenses...(fires up the shredder)
I'd claimed a months worth of expenses...(fires up the shredder) Reference:
fires up the shredder
No, no, no Suzy, at the minute the government doesn't know it's arse from it's elbow, you could still sneak them in
