I refuse to have any pesticides or herbicides in my jungle garden.

Prime Minister, I will disclose (nothing) everything  

I wish my strikeout would work 

  well I just hope there are far fewer questionable claims than last time Dame Ann

 As the Home Sec I am so (un)organized and conscientious Prime Minister , everything will be jotted down (and shredded)  

 Dame Ann used to work for Enron...I see her shredding skills are still on point 

Suzy, I had nothing to do with their shady dealings, even though I worked in accounts. I came away with a fantastic redundancy package. I think it was my reward for my excellent (cover up) accounts system. It was just a (tip off) coincidence I managed to secure my pay off before the sh*t hit the fan  

okay 

Right, who's been leaving pubic hairs in the soap?


Me and my girls have a hard enough job cleaning this place without being subjected to that, I tell you

Nair it wasn't me Miss S, that's , you and your squad need a pay rise.... or other members need a job lot of Veet. 

Dame Anne I shall cross you off my list of subjects .... hmmm
*rasies eyebrow*

Thank you Miss S, I'm pleased you used your discretion, I wish I'd used mine  

I intend to get to the bottom (literally) of this pube debarcle.

I am wondering if it is one of those young constables that is to blame....

With My Home Sec  hat on I shall go and investigate this matter myself. I will personally use the hands on method with this issue Miss S....( If I'm not back in two hours, you know one of the young constables are to blame) 

Hang on, hang on, don't be getting too personal now - especially not with the young blonde one

*out of office reply*

Runs in out of breathe, can you tell me what colour these offending pubes are Miss S...I think I can safely rule one young constable out 

When I've sorted these young constables out, I'll find me trowel 

They're not mine  I got a Brazilian when I was in Rio last week 

I most certainly can Home Secretary





On closer inspection.... they appear to be grey.....


That would rule out the young constables so you won't need to go fingering them again you hear?


Now, who is the culprit?

What colour was the Brazilians publics... This Home Office malarkey gets you interested in trace evidence 

*scores another name off the list*

 <<<<< har har
 
holds back *LOLOLOL* 



Miss S, it is my duty to get to grips with this issue  We could have a budding Philip Schofield in our recruits... I am taking this matter seriously, if it takes my weeks to (get through) check out all the young constables, I will do it vigorously and with great determination  

Glad to hear it - I will of course be carrying out my own investigations - just incase you miss a bit

*out of office reply*

*goes for a rummage in all the empty offices*  

Comes back in to check all security cameras in full working order 

*starts dusting pot plants with balaclava*  

Anyone willing to ask tiddly about the soap situation, I mean, rummaging through the offices when no ones in. I'm Busy (worn out) checking the constables. It's a hard job but someone's got to do it  

Miss S aint going to be too pleased  

*burns balaclava to get rid of incriminating DNA soap related or otherwise*  

 Hopefully we'll have a mug shot

We can just blame all the 'missing' money on her 

Brilliant Suzy, hmmm should you be telling me that  I'm off after waiting for the news that wasn't news about BB...nite nite  

Good Night Home Sec....hmm snazzy PJs 

Damn right I'm not


And it is quite possible that Tiddly is the pube culprit - I see no denial so far.........hmmm?

What you lot accusing me of now?    Just had a nice young Police Constable demanding to take down my particulars -  so I obliged - and now we're having a wee smoke