Good morning Tittler/Pun Master 

Good idea - we can stick it all on the PM's junket tab     

Morning Ma'am *tugs forelock* something appropriate    

Careful Tidds, I spy strangers 

Oh fook!           *cleans up act and tutters*    

Good Morning colleagues, strolls off to bar for a little hair of the dog 

Good Morning fellow  government colleagues.

*Leaves crates of South African white wine in the Cabinet* 

As part of my perving at Frank Lampard's legs,  the official trip I  have been on checking out England's facilities at the World Cup and watching them train, this nice South African gentleman gave me all these crates of white wine for the Cabinet.   I intend to take a weekend jaunt official Government visit to the French Open this weekend to assess Andy Murray's chances of winning Wimbledon.

I also need to speak to Mr Meat regarding the Wembley pitch.  A nice brown envelope full of cash should win him the contract.

Sports Minister...we are not Worthy  You lucky **** *** ***** 

Afternoon as Chirf officer of the drinks cabinet, I have aquired a shoite load of whiskey from the Irish government..the bar is now open....

you took your bloody time drinks minister (hic) we had to send out the Privvy Seal to Asda for a top up 

Ssshhhh, think of how it loks in public - can't you put it in a lemonade bottle, for god's sake?

OMG it's the Spin Doctor 

They insisted I tired it all....

Get yerself a brown paper back like the rest of us....

By the way fellow Ministers, who is Home Secretary?  I can think of a man who would be perfect to be in charge of the police force.....

 Dame Ann is Home Secretary....how dare you!!!!! (btw how fit is this man???? )

Hear Hear!!! (hic)

Traitor  

Pssst Suzy, I'm thinking of a career change anyway. I'm thinking about oceanographer 
I was watching Fabien Cousteau on the telly box yesterday and decide it could be a great career move  

You don't happen to have a yacht do you 

Oh Dame Ann, my apologies.....  this man is extremely fit..... but sadly fictional so can't be in the Government!

Apology accepted PinkBabe, an easy mistake to make as I am out of my office frequently due to having to make various trips to the bar to find other colleagues  

Maybe we should just move the Cabinet into the bar and have done with it.... 

Seconded 

Thirded  * out of office reply* The Hon. Suzy ...(Foreign Secretary) is in the Maldives averting a War with the Maldivians (???) please forward to the PM

Why am I finding that hard to believe  

*out of office* reply

Sniffs around for any vermin,lifts tail,sprays ,leaves.

How very dare you - there is no vermin in this establishment - me and my staff see to that, thank you very much

She does too Hi there Miss S & assorted Ministers Hope you are all having a good Bank Holiday, but don't forget I shall want receipts for you expenses...... and NO billing for partners....

*declares my relationship with my landlord* 

pmsl @ Foreign Sec 


As Home Sec I need to crack down of petty theft...some thieving barsteward nicked my patio set last night...even the umbrella ffs. I was going to have a coffee in the garden when I realised I had eff all to sit on 

Home Sec. 

Home Sec, you're welcome to borrow my wrought iron table and two chairs, if you can disentangle them from all the weeds that have sprung up round them.
I have no time for gardening or relaxing outside, seeing as I was in work yesterday and I'm back in again today.

Thanks Suzy 


Demon thanks for the offer, I'll not bother replacing them, they will just get nicked again  I'll do a bit of weeding for you though and stop working on a Bank Holiday  I am now going to sit in my local pubs beer garden, that's if there's any chairs 

Put the tab on the Commons expenses 

Not without full disclosure..... and MY say so... *waits for bribes* Afternoon parliamentarians....

Thank you very much! Don't get snarled up in the forest of cleavers (aka sticky willy)

*titters* @ sticky willy    

 I think we'll maybe stick to weed all Deman 

Done Suzy 

also tots up

4 wrought iron chairs, wrought Iron glass top table and a slightly used brolly, due to lack of sun last year