I really, honest to god, an going to 'ave chips, Hurvis and spaghetti for supper.....I've been so indoctrinated by the Gordon Ramsey's of this thread that I bought a tin of Heinz

BTW - I'm taking orders for personalised "fer Dave" placards.....anyone want a special one done, just say t'word

if tha still here pwillow luv can u get us surme special brew like an surme chipsticks an all flower?....ta luv.....

tell yur what possee.....i'm gonna be reet sooper slim me followin tha dave diet......appen i'll be fightin blerks off....

tha robbie has nur chance tho...kick him reet t kerb i would me.....

who'd e think e is like droppin our lard like tha?.......

thats wot i like ter see,full bellies an happy faces,enjoy yer grub Miss S

Hiya DS,fancy a bacon an black puddin buttie wiv some curry sauce?

All t'folk in t'country should be followin tha Dave diet Sponge

Never mind Jamie Oliver - our Lard shud be in all t'schools tellin kiddies what to eat fur ther tea - no fags or nowt like that tho

chipsticks and special brew rite ere spongebob,i picked up some pork scratchins an all while i were there

we're all gonna look reet grand after this diet,i can feel me belly swell wiv pride!

that robbie fella were backin freddie first,then dave and now siavash,he's gonna meet imself comin back at rate he's goin thru ousemates!

quote:

Originally posted by Pwillow:
thats wot i like ter see,full bellies an happy faces,enjoy yer grub Miss S

Hiya DS,fancy a bacon an black puddin buttie wiv some curry sauce?

appen i'll ave one pwillow luv...drop a bit o garlic in fur me tho please...ta luv....

jamie oliver and gordon ramsay shud be force fed the Dave diet,all the crap they make is reet awful,all that balsamic and salad stuff gives me the irrits!

comin rite up spongebob,garlic and a bit o chilli to spice it up nice and proper

eeeeee i've done meself reet proud tonight wiv me cookin

oliver an ramsay??.....nancy boys them....tha needs a proper diet wi proper food....t fill yur belly up.....i say...if i were meant t eat lettuce an carrots an stuff...i'd be a rabbit like norra person.....

grease an yorkshire pud....tha can't beat it....champion....

quote:

Originally posted by Pwillow:
comin rite up spongebob,garlic and a bit o chilli to spice it up nice and proper

eeeeee i've done meself reet proud tonight wiv me cookin

sounds grand tha does luv....tha should be prowd flower......

Right flowers ahm off now to 'ave a soak in t'bath then off to watch our Dave on t'big telly again

Take care posse

ay spongebob,that's a proper meal is grease an yorkshires!

none of yer rabbit food,wor bodies are not built for all that ealthy stuff!

eeeeta spongebob,it's all down to me muckers in ere that i got ter be so good in t'kitchen

enjoy yer bath DanceSettee,chuck in a bit o radox and ave a bag of pork scratchins will yer ave a soak

eeeeeee i'm reet hot tonight,might ave a wander t'shop and buy a couple of mini milks,see yer all later muckers

eeeee pwillow tha luvely o yur t say tha....

in tha possee wi like t be helpful like....just like our lard dave

our motto like is...yur can drag cow t water but yur can't make it drink....

tha's like summit frum tha shakespeare blerk tha is....powetry

ta ra nur pwillow an dancers an miss s....

owpe t see yur after bb like......

quote:

Originally posted by Pwillow:


Hiya DS,fancy a bacon an black puddin buttie wiv some curry sauce?

well go on then .....but only if it's vegiturrian black pudding from Dave's healthy eating range

quote:

Originally posted by Pwillow:
enjoy yer bath DanceSettee,chuck in a bit o radox and ave a bag of pork scratchins will yer ave a soak

am I 'aving a bath then??

oooh bluddy hell Pwillow, doan be a daftie...it's only August , mine's not due till Fibry

and tin tub is full of th'homebrew at minute anyways...i'll not be emptying it till Winter Festival, or wutever they call it these days

Wow. How cool is Dave? Only Dave can prance like a zombie. A prancing marching zombie.

ow hot did our lard look walkin round in his undercrackers like?...an when he were sat in bath....i tell yur possee..me temperature went thru t roof like...

an he towld tha bea wummun like...gave er what fur straight up like...nur messin.....he's mure of a man than she'll ever be...proper straight like..

power t dave.......

Dave wo brilliant, he weren't avvin non er it. She had a face like a smacked arse!

appen he's marked er card nur......he's put penny in tha slot.......

OOh sounds like th'Lard were star of t'show ternite

I can't watch it yet as I had to put the battri that runs telly back in th'tractor...got to get potato waffles harvested before it gets too dark

hurpfly it'll be back for 11 and I can catch up with t'antics

owpe yur get t see him like dancers...eeee lass....he looked proper grand t'night in his checked undercrackers.....an he were soakin in tub......fine figure o man......

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
owpe yur get t see him like dancers...eeee lass....he looked proper grand t'night in his checked undercrackers.....an he were soakin in tub......fine figure o man......

will I need to watch it from under a blanket

quote:

Originally posted by DanceSettee:

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
owpe yur get t see him like dancers...eeee lass....he looked proper grand t'night in his checked undercrackers.....an he were soakin in tub......fine figure o man......

will I need to watch it from under a blanket

Marcus stylee?

ow do blizzie.......

nur dancers....tha won't need tha blanket.....nur unless yur want t do a bit o marcus style wershippin.....

i were lickin tv screen i were.....champion......

To Lisa: "How can I be more masculine, like you?"

"You can make a cow drag to water but you can't make it drink"

"It's been blown out of all precaution"

"It's just selfishism"

"Come Strictly On Ice"

"When I get on the ice I come alive... and I can go backwards!"

"She's been all over him like a wet rash"

"Bites like a cat, stings like a bee"

"You hit the nail on the hammer most times

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
To Lisa: "How can I be more masculine, like you?"

"You can make a cow drag to water but you can't make it drink"

"It's been blown out of all precaution"

"It's just selfishism"

"Come Strictly On Ice"

"When I get on the ice I come alive... and I can go backwards!"

"She's been all over him like a wet rash"

"Bites like a cat, stings like a bee"

"You hit the nail on the hammer most times

Fab darlo!

''IT'S ALL ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE THOUGH, IN'T IT LISE?"


"I'm the bestest ice-skater in the world, me, can do piriettes and all".

"Am I camp, Lise?"

"My Dad would say; Lifes a bitch and then you marry one"

''shes avin paltipations''


'I am not fick'

'This week, not one guilt'

"Just be yourself. It's all you can be Bea"
the penny fell to the bottom of the slot machine".

champion darlo........

darlo!

Stay here and worship someone nice!

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
To Lisa: "How can I be more masculine, like you?"

"You can make a cow drag to water but you can't make it drink"

"It's been blown out of all precaution"

"It's just selfishism"

"Come Strictly On Ice"

"When I get on the ice I come alive... and I can go backwards!"

"She's been all over him like a wet rash"

"Bites like a cat, stings like a bee"

"You hit the nail on the hammer most times

Brilliant

Eeee our Lard were great tonight weren't 'he?

'E were not fur takin any nonsense

Brilliant quotes

He has come out with some classics

The penny has went into the slot


I bet bb when he comes into diary room are peeing themselves laughing

It makes it so funny because he is deadly serious.

our lard is proper champion cup...

quote:

Originally posted by DanceSettee:

quote:

Originally posted by Pwillow:
enjoy yer bath DanceSettee,chuck in a bit o radox and ave a bag of pork scratchins will yer ave a soak

am I 'aving a bath then??

oooh bluddy hell Pwillow, doan be a daftie...it's only August , mine's not due till Fibry

and tin tub is full of th'homebrew at minute anyways...i'll not be emptying it till Winter Festival, or wutever they call it these days

surry our DS,it were Miss S who were goin fer bath,i got all muddled up reet proper,i'm a silly sausage i am!

Dave were reet grand tonight with Bea,he laid cards on table an stuck to is guns,i were reet proud!

I'm reet annoyed with Primark,i went fer a couple o pair o jeans and i got some 32 waist and i tried em on an they come nowhere near.

I told the lady that all her sizes were to cock and she called me a fat arse,the bloody cheek of er!

I said 'now listen flower,i'm a 32 waist me and all yer jeans are t'wrong size,now get yer clogs on an get me t'proper ones'
I told her good and proper right in middle o floor with me undercrackers on,security threw me out and barred me,i ain't bothered like!

i feel hungry now,anyone up fer some beans on toast with curry mayo and grated cheese?

quote:

Originally posted by Pwillow:

I'm reet annoyed with Primark,i went fer a couple o pair o jeans and i got some 32 waist and i tried em on an they come nowhere near.

I told the lady that all her sizes were to cock and she called me a fat arse,the bloody cheek of er!

I said 'now listen flower,i'm a 32 waist me and all yer jeans are t'wrong size,now get yer clogs on an get me t'proper ones'
I told her good and proper right in middle o floor with me undercrackers on,security threw me out and barred me,i ain't bothered like!

Eeey up posse

Me bath were grand by tha way - it weren't Dance it were me

Nowt wrong wi fat folk remember - if all yer famly ur fat then there's nowt wrong with it in't thur not?

Power t'Dave - e's not bothered like tho, is 'e?

quote:

Originally posted by Pwillow:


i feel hungry now,anyone up fer some beans on toast with curry mayo and grated cheese?

Sounds grand, and I'll use my own marg, I won't have anyone accusing me of stealing marg.

ey up Miss S

i'm a silly moo me,glad you enjoyed yer bath

nowt wrong with being big,big is better