I started earlier....it isn't helping. 

my dazzle - *one of duckys hearts smileys*

*whispers* -sneaky snaffle

Is that hungarian for vajazzle?

Oh no, hang on....*remembers name*

*Picks up a paper on the way to the restaurant*

well hello big boy

big news later on Sam...watch out for the late edition

Oh good, another MM!

I do hope you're talking to me Candy.  

If it's about his whale dish...I already know

of course I was honey bunch

lookie here...its the dick that likes a just about anything

Unlike you, Candy, who likes anything. They told me you were a flapper...I assumed they had got their f's ans s's mixed up, like they did in the bible (that's the book that you find in the drawers of those manky hotel rooms you frequent, by the way).

Seem's like I was right.

If I keep on like this, I might even solve a crime soon.

*adjusts editors hat and sniggers* 

The late edition is about ready to roll...looks like you won't be signing on the dole for a few days Vi 

listen up baby doll.... I have what it take,,,you just take what you can get

My Candy is so clever. I don't understand her half the time, but that's what I love about her 

hot off the press!

my honey bunch I luvs you, you handsome hunk

Sweet Mary mother of God tis desperate news altogether

Handsome???? It looks like those things on his face belong in his underpants.

Right. So. He had no trousers on. It was obviously Tony then. He killed him because he wanted his bits to adorn his face with.

Off to the speakeasy I go.

 Special Delivery for the Dame  ssssshhhhh don't ask for the source!

• CANDY CAPISH (F)
• She didn’t get the nickname ‘The Bust’ for nothing and The low-cut tops and pearly necklaces are designed to show off The assets to best effect. Aside from The heaving cleavage, she tend s to wear pinstripe jackets and skirts to show her affiliation to Tony.
• SAM ANNELLA (M)
• Preferring an apron and chef’s hat to a suit, The bulging stomach serves as testament to The great cooking ability. A fat cigar completes the picture although it is never lit. He wouldn’t want patrons thinking he tipped ash in their dinners…
• MO DOWN (F)
• The emerald green suit may not be the pinstripe affair of many mobsters but it is a tribute to her  heritage, as are any charm bracelets, pendants and necklaces she decide d to wear this evening. Four leaf clovers and leprechauns are optional.
• BILLY BADA BING (M)
• Loose trousers, open necked shirt and braces give him the appearance of always being ready for action (or just leaving the scene of some). He wears a trilby for evening occasions but never lets a suit jacket get in the way.
• TONY TRICEPS (M)
• Pinstripe three-piece suit is his favourite attire completed by thick rimmed glasses that aid The often questionable seeing ability. He prefers black shirts with a thin white tie for formal occasions and a fake tattoo that you draw on The knuckles that reads ‘M’ ‘O’ ‘M’ ‘M’ ‘Y’ so he can tell people to ‘Come to Mommy’.
• BELLA BURLESQUE (F)
• The long legs are best shown off by a long black gown with even longer splits, and wrapped in fishnets. Sometimes she’ll wear a garter, especially if she’s carrying a weapon, which she almost always is.  She of the of striking red lipstick-laden lips.

listen tarty face....he's a true gent, handsome witty and the best lover in the world...that's three of the things you wouldn't recognize, you're either blind drunk or desperate when you pick men up,, I should say when they pick you up

thanks for the inside info Admiral 

  Dame!!   Glad to see nothing gets past the Sin 

ya...I agree Admiral, its a good rag innit   I knew there was something dodgy about that Billy Ding Dong 

Yeah  but I'm such a hansom fella.. Still can't see why the bird would not open the darn tins itself. whats the beak for.. Sniff.. 

Fantastic sheet Dame!!

Oh jeez, I arrested a penguin? I must have been totally bloody out of it more tired than I thought.

Justice for the penguin one - he's innocent  I want that Billy bloke arrested for assault with a deadly tin of tuna 

brilliant Dame Ann  

no one was shocked Mrs B... its the norm for you  

I've got one eye on that Billy 

zis eeezzz brilliant *slink* and sings* and wraps legs around head

The Sin doing the digging, why did Defective Vi Brator not find this report 

No mention of Slovakia...or bloody Russian royalty