Do you want that filling darling?

Ah went to the finest dance academy in Madrid thankchoo

Do you mean Oxford Brookes the inferior university that used to be a polytechnic?

Or do you mean Oxford University?

*sniffs*

I was there, I studied Classics..... wonderful. Which college were you at?

Good evening darlings   Roxy's here so lets get this show on the road

Roxy, hunny, I'm feeling ever so slightly under dressed, I need some bling. Any chance you could rustle up a blingtastic uniform for me???

Well I'm ready. Where's the party?

Sure hun but I'll have to glue rather than sew

 I thought you'd like something classy

Some would say I was dazzling.

some reporters wouldn't 

well  hello there is that a bat you're carrying or are you just pleased to see me

I always have a bat at the ready Roxy. A couple of balls too.

Would you like a spin around the dance floor with this years winner to be?

Her girls your not the only one's with great dress sense!

NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH

Looks like the final will not be going ahead, we did warn you there was going to be trouble...The Daily Sin always gets it right! Crane Breville-Cowl has been murdered 

The Daily Sin is officering a huge reward for would be detectives to help us solve this atrocious crime!

You heard it hear first.

Sure honey - just so long as you know when I'm spinning around you'd better get outta my way but then again I know you'll feel it cos you'll like it like that   

I should be so lucky    sorry I'm rambling - get a girl a drink?

Are we starting this competition or not?

I've news flashed it Bend Eileen

Am I to late to enter?......I have the moves...

I'm not easy tho.......

You're welcome to try for the reward Syd, solve it and you're in the money 

Hi there Dazzler, bet your middle wicket is a sight to behold 

Murder on the Dance Floor

All the Z list celebrities gathered and no show to appear in due to someone embedding more than hair plugs in Crane Breville-Cowls head. 

Lionella Blair our roving reporter managed to mingle with the suspects last night, we are hopeful she will dig up some dirt that plenty of facts will be forthcoming soon.

Super sleuth Vi Brator turned up at the bash, more intent on checking the length of Mr Dazzler's wicket than solving the crime. While super cool Mr Dazzler was seen nonchalantly standing in a corner rubbing his ball down his immaculately pressed tuxedo, I have been informed by our sports reporter that this helps the balls spin better  

The Daily Sin is offering a massive reward for any up and coming armchair detective to help solve this crime, we are keeping the sum under wraps for now, I can assure you it's a reward worth claiming! Now is your chance to solve the celebrity crime of the year and to reap life changing rewards.

Back later when I've sharpened me pencil  

I'd like to report that Dazzler has most certainly bowled this maiden over 

However, my mind remains as sharp as ever and I vow to solve this horrific crime.

What a waste of a semi decent pair of shoes it was.

You wouldn't care to give the Sin and exclusive on your activities last night would you Vi?

I'm sure our new editor Mr Coulson  would agree to anything to pay you a decent fee we have a spare ten bob 

Well, whilst I would love to give you all the ins and outs of last night, of which there were plenty, my jaw is still far too sore for talking and I do have a murder to solve.

I shall eagerly look forward lo it Vi. although if rumours are to be true, your jaw was always on the slack side  so it really should not be a problem 

Some would call that getting into bed with crime darling Vi!

You may end up an accomplice I'm keeping my eyes on both of you!

I'm sure you are, you naughty boy you 

Cancelled...... just cos he's got a shoe stuck in his head?

I've played Cricket with worse injuries than that.

Now that is taking the game to the opposition Dazzler darling.  By the way were you hurt in the googlies?

You're very unsympathetic Mr Duck  

I've had a word with our sports reporter, he knows all about you *taps nose* Often caught out in the slips by all accounts 

Latest News from our insider Lionella Blair.

Disclaimer The Sin takes no responsibility if this turns out to be a load of shite libelous 

Well the old grey whistler had been given the push, seems Woody Leave is in the habit of falling down lately, cliffs, jobs, grace, and to top it all Crane Breville-Cowl was about to step on his sore toes. That's one hell of an excuse to stick a stiletto heel into his head, especially when Woody had a spare shoe.

Dazzler Pecker Duck seems to be spending most of his time bowling a an old slapper maiden over, he's well in with super slut sleuth Vi Brator. Miss Brator doesn't realise that Dazzler Duck could be supplying her with sexual favours just to hear her pillow talk. He really doesn't have to go that that far, the whole hotel can hear Vi's pillow talk allegedly  

Wilma Waltzwurk the Hungarian ex World Champion Ballroom dancer is a strange one, popping pills and swigging booze at every opportunity, had every reason to stick one of her heels into Crane's cranium, but could she hold her hand steady enough to do it?

Then we have Britain's answer to  Sharon Osbourne, Marcus Hiley...fat, flamboyant and flirty. if it was his shoe he'd have to have borrowed it or bought a pair on Ebay with extra, extra wide fitting.

He's one to watch, and we will be watching him closely.

Reeda Promt, the highly successful and very beautiful face of News at Nine Thirty may have something to hide. Although she appears by far the most sincere, charming, gorgeous, talented contestant ever to win a place in the final of Dance Factor by a country mile. This is what puts The Sin head and shoulders above other tabloids, we only print the truth 

Then we have the very mysterious Eileen Over, she's been avoiding The Sin and refuses point blank to give any interviews. Lionella did manage to find out her and Crane had history, apparently there was some problem in the bedroom department and they broke up. Maybe Crane found out Eileen was using her doppelgänger/PA and general gofer Miss Issy for the tacky bits  Miss Over does have a secret and we intend to find out what it is!

Roxy Rhinstone, the super fan and Costume Designer to Maradona, fabled for her lack of activity on the catwalk....and The Sin knows why  Roxy was caught out with a lie last night and back tracked quickly, if she's not guilty she still needs to do time for her crimes against fashion.

See below!

Last but not least is the sexy Emmanuel Handler, with his dark  fake tan latino looks and his handlebar moustache that can demolish shelves in Asda faster than contestants on Supermarket Sweep, could he be the stiletto stabber? Emmanuel his renowned for thrusting projectiles, did it thrust a sharpened heel into Crane's napper....  you could help solve it 

Lol

Muf on page 3 of the Sin ^^

I went gently with you muf 

You can be as rough as you want sweetheart

Hola My gorgeous Lady 

Is that Dame Ann and Muf over there by the bar?

*grabs copy of The Sin and cuts it up into squares for the lavvy in cell 1*

Slut??!! No-one ever called old Marple a slut and she was always in and out of peoples bedrooms...admittedly most of them were laying in them as dead as doornails, but that's not the point. Anyway, who is to say that I'm not giving Dazzler as thorough a probing as he is giving me?