quote:

Originally posted by Baby Bunny:
Sister Scooby,

Is there something you want to tell me about?

These 2 adorable pups just turned up at the Lodge asking for "Mummy".

Bond Street heist nets $79m for armed robbers


A police hunt is under way in Britain for three nuns believed to have pulled off the nation's biggest jewellery heist.

The uniformed sisters made off with an estimated £40 million ($79 million) in gems from the exclusive Gruff Diamonds store in central London during their daring daylight robbery.

Warning shots were fired and a female staff member briefly held hostage during the hold-up, which lasted just minutes.



Britain's biggest ever jewellery heist ... (Top) Scotland Yard releases CCTV images of the smartly dressed sisters and (below) some of the items stolen.

The nuns, who carried guns, stole 43 items from the store on New Bond Street, in the heart of London's fashionable Mayfair district.

Their haul included a white and yellow diamond daisy necklace, double hoop diamond earrings, a platinum white Marquise diamond ring,a men's chronograph 45mm watch and several boxes of cleaning products.



The nuns walked into the store - whose celebrity clients include supermodel Naomi Campbell and Victoria and David Beckham - at about 4.40pm and threatened staff with guns and an assortment of sponges allegedly soaked in Vim.

In just a matter of minutes they ordered staff to hand over a variety of necklaces, bracelets, rings and watches before fleeing, seizing a female staff member on their way out.



The woman was left on the street as a third nun fired a warning shot into the air before leaping onto a waiting blue Honda moped.



Police said the Honda weaved its way through nearby streets before colliding with a black taxi.

The nun abandoned her moped, firing another warning shot into the ground, and then switched to a silver Mercedes which drove her a short distance to another waiting getaway car.

The two nuns who escaped on foot are suspected of having purloined a routemaster bus disguised as transport officials.

London police do not expect to make arrests any time soon.

Brothers and Sisters,

I think the best course of action here is for us all to keep as low a profile as possible for the next few weeks.

No overt displays of new found wealth...

Would whoever left this parked on the forecourt kindly put it round the back?




Stay indoors - no partying...




And say nothing to anyone...





I myself will take the lead by renewing my vow of poverty... shortly....

Can I keep this even though it's in my image?

quote:

Originally posted by Pengy:
Can I keep this even though it's in my image?

Not really Sister Pengy. I suggest you give it to me for now for safe keeping...

I also think you should offload this work of art I found hanging in your cell.



1. It's sheer self-indulgent narcissism on your part and not befitting of a Sister.

2. I haven't got a self portrait so why should you have one?

I've been speaking to some of my Japanese relatives and they have suggested a way we might hide ourselves nuns or ninjas

It looks like your instructions are being ignored Sister Bunny and greed has prevailed



and take a look at the morning paper ~ the net's closing in ~ seems like we may have been grassed up !!!



Time to make it light on our feet I think



Blessed be the mop.

They'll never catch me!

I've thought of branching out into the toy department to relieve raise funds for the lodge.

I don't think Sister Bunny came out quite right - she looks a bit cross



and Brother Heatseak looks a bit pervy

Nevermind - Sr Hoochie looks lovely

*ahem* These diamond rosary beads were a gift...

I scream for Ice cream can I take your order?

ROFL Pengy how many spin offs has this Lodge got going?

quote:

Originally posted by nosey rosie:
ROFL Pengy how many spin offs has this Lodge got going?

Someone has to provide funds for my habits...

And on the subject of habits I found this "person" in the male quarters.

I hope the Brothers are not frittering away their recent windfall on unbefitting "entertainment"?

It was good to see Brother Proggers make his debut on the Blue Sponge Shopping Channel this morning, orders for the Holy Rosarys have been flooding in...



Tomorrow the Channel will be featuring Sister Pongy's Pengy's latest line in toys.



Sister Bunny will be pleased

She's already modelled for an addition to the range

Brothers and Sisters,

Lettuce Pray one more time....


I must thank you all for your pious musings. The Lodge is now in remission as we migrate to celestial climes...

It is time to reward and punish.



Awards for long service and income generation piety.

Sister Bunny – pensioned off to a villa in France with James Purefoy as a man servant.

Sister Hoochie – lifetime’s supply of Domestos and a gold-handled mop. Akon to clean her windows once a week wearing... err, nowt.

Brother Heatseek – promoted to Pope. Liz Hurley to light his bedside candle and buff his ceremonial orbs unto eternity. May the Mop be with you Brother.

Sister Pengy - to be rewarded for her services to industry with a lifetime's supply of lemon sorbet served by Brendan Coyle, unto perpetuity.


Excommunications

Sister Rosie – to be burnt at the stake for insubordination. All lands and chattels to be returned to Sister Bunny.

Sister Syd – AWOL – 50 lashes with a mop, followed by immersion into boiling water unto her demise. Followed by removal of all knitting paraphernalia.

Brother Proggers – AWOL – to be tied to a turntable and forced to listen to Toxic by Britney Spears unto eternity.

Sister BeerBelle – AWOL but since with child to be banished from the realm (exiled to Wales). To be made to listen to Max Boyce singing "We All Had Doctors' Papers" in a field of sheep between the hours of 5am and midnight.

Sister Scooby – AWOL – to receive a good ducking (you know the one, if you sink you’re innocent, if you float you’re guilty). Removal of dog biscuits should she survive - which she won't.

Brother Muf – AWOL – to have his internet connection severed with immediate effect, his Last FM account deleted and thenceforth be sent to the Vim Mines for no less than 10 days.

Sister Onetoo – AWOL - forced to burn her effigy of Chris Daughtry and destroy her rubbish record collection. New laptop also to be burnt and bus pass confiscated.

Sister Barney – AWOL - to be dipped in vat of ale and suffocated.

Brother Roland – AWOL - to be ridiculed by Bob Carolgees and then eaten by Spit the Dog.


And remember Brothers and Sisters: To err is human, to mop is divine.

Goodbye, good luck and may your mop go with you...

errrm Sister Bunny - you forgot to say who gets the Cash Card and the keys to the vault, and the Swiss Account access codes! I'm sure it was just a small oversight

quote:

Originally posted by ~hoochie~:
errrm Sister Bunny - you forgot to say who gets the Cash Card and the keys to the vault, and the Swiss Account access codes! I'm sure it was just a small oversight

No oversight, Sister.

Tis me wot has all them fings.

I have arranged for you to be in receipt of a small annuity. Well, when I say small, err I mean minuscule...

But I’m sure with your business acumen, marketing flair and love of a challenge you’ll be able to make ends meet... and if not – tough!!

quote:

Originally posted by Baby Bunny:

quote:

Originally posted by ~hoochie~:
errrm Sister Bunny - you forgot to say who gets the Cash Card and the keys to the vault, and the Swiss Account access codes! I'm sure it was just a small oversight

No oversight, Sister.

Tis me wot has all them fings.

I have arranged for you to be in receipt of a small annuity. Well, when I say small, err I mean minuscule...

But I’m sure with your business acumen, marketing flair and love of a challenge you’ll be able to make ends meet... and if not – tough!!

You forgot my financial IT Systems skills!

Good job I did some contingency planning - not that I really expected you not to abscond with the funds!!

When you check the balances please don't be too disappointed if they're a lotlittle less than you expect.

Sister Bunny it is with great joy that I accept my promotion to Pope and wish to set your mind at rest about the Lodge sinners being brought to justice and suitably stripped of all valuables punished.

For several months in the secrecy of the Vim mines I have personally trained four loyal sisters in the secret Messianic Lodge art of Nunjutsu.

Moulded into a crack commando unit they are now experts in hunting down dissenters of The Blessed Mop and once dispatched they will soon be dishing out appropriate punishments



As soon as the holy speed-o-meter on Sister Pengy's bicycle registers 20 mph they will become...



...the four sisters of the apocalypse !



To be continued....

quote:

Originally posted by Heatseek:
Sister Bunny it is with great joy that I accept my promotion to Pope...

Holy Father,

I don't wish to trouble you at this early stage in your pope-dom with tawdry financial considerations but... I have not yet received the agreed upon remuneration with respect to your stratospheric vault up the career ladder.

James Purefoy doesn't come cheap you know!

quote:

Originally posted by ~hoochie~:
You forgot my financial IT Systems skills!

Good job I did some contingency planning - not that I really expected you not to abscond with the funds!!

When you check the balances please don't be too disappointed if they're a lotlittle less than you expect.

Pope - do summat!!!

Burnt at the stake? Thats harsh I'm not even a witch, more of a Jezebel

Can't I be stoned instead?

quote:

Sister Onetoo – AWOL - forced to burn her effigy of Chris Daughtry and destroy her rubbish record collection. New laptop also to be burnt and bus pass confiscated.

quote:

Originally posted by onetoo:

quote:

Sister Onetoo – AWOL - forced to burn her effigy of Chris Daughtry and destroy her rubbish record collection. New laptop also to be burnt and bus pass confiscated.

*Trades in her crap record collection in order to be re-accepted*

Workin on it - Chris Rea....oops sorry. wrong fred

quote:

Originally posted by nosey rosie:
Burnt at the stake? Thats harsh I'm not even a witch, more of a Jezebel

Can't I be stoned instead?

You are a heretic but more importantly you stole my funds from our organisation.

You compounded this by calling us all slaaaaaags.

Thanks for the idea though!

You will be partially stoned prior to the burning at the stake.

Hope this compromise meets with your approval.

quote:

Originally posted by onetoo:
*Trades in her crap record collection in order to be re-accepted*

That box doesn't look very big...

What's inside?

Oh, it be what you want it to be Sister Bunny *fallsdownatfeetsmilie*

quote:

Originally posted by Heatseek:

Now don't let the power go to your head. Remember Caligula...

Praise Be Sr Bunny

I am departing for the Emerald Isle with Brendan as we have a new addition to the family to take care of

Brothers and Sisters I bid you adieu

Take very good care Pengy and the best of luck to you

Here's a little prezzie for you...

quote:

Originally posted by Pengy:
Praise Be Sr Bunny

I am departing for the Emerald Isle with Brendan as we have a new addition to the family to take care of

Brothers and Sisters I bid you adieu

Awww... au revoir Pengy

quote:

Originally posted by Baby Bunny:

quote:

Originally posted by nosey rosie:
Burnt at the stake? Thats harsh I'm not even a witch, more of a Jezebel

Can't I be stoned instead?

You are a heretic but more importantly you stole my funds from our organisation.

You compounded this by calling us all slaaaaaags.

Thanks for the idea though!

You will be partially stoned prior to the burning at the stake.

Hope this compromise meets with your approval.

Just try it, you bleedin' mupps!!!

I've enough dirt on this place to bring you all daaaahhhhhn Wouldn't want it finding its way to the Old Bill / NOTW would ya ?

quote:

Originally posted by Pengy:
Praise Be Sr Bunny

I am departing for the Emerald Isle with Brendan as we have a new addition to the family to take care of

Brothers and Sisters I bid you adieu

Adieu Sister Pengy and safe travelling.

I got you this in addition to Mr Coyle:

quote:

Originally posted by nosey rosie:

quote:

Originally posted by Baby Bunny:

quote:

Originally posted by nosey rosie:
Burnt at the stake? Thats harsh I'm not even a witch, more of a Jezebel

Can't I be stoned instead?

You are a heretic but more importantly you stole my funds from our organisation.

You compounded this by calling us all slaaaaaags.

Thanks for the idea though!

You will be partially stoned prior to the burning at the stake.

Hope this compromise meets with your approval.

Just try it, you bleedin' mupps!!!

I've enough dirt on this place to bring you all daaaahhhhhn Wouldn't want it finding its way to the Old Bill / NOTW would ya ?

Right! That's it!!!

*Lights cigar on flames, careful not to singe her gold rolex watch*

Fanks dahhhlin'... are we 'avin a barbeque?