The world's gone mad!

I finally bought some tea light holders, and will be sorting the driftwood part of it this weekend.

 

 I bought 2 of this one.

2 of this one

1 of this one

Awww I just love being able to prove myself right when someone is calling me a liar!!  

 

People who lie constantly get on my nerves but what is even worse is when they lie so well that everyone believes them and thinks you're being a bitch. When you say that they (the liar) have done something and they convince everyone you are lying it's frustrating as hell.

 

 I am so mad that I'm craving a ciggy.  

C'mon Ells spill the beans.  Who has lied and about what?

Did I mention the boy is away with School for the weekend? 

 

He wasn't happy, but I had the consent form signed and on it's merry way back to school before it had even had the chance to cause a slight draft across the door mat.

The tea lights are lovely - where'd you get them?

My mate has just been on the phone. Tears and lots of swearing. I had to tell her I was heading out or I'd have lost the plot with her. 

 

A year ago she moved to a private rent in a wee village because she said her son wasn't getting the proper schooling he deserves. He has ADHD and is also extremely violent and at 8 years old has a foul mouth that would put me to shame. She babies him and NEVER punishes him. The one time he was in my house I shouted at him for throwing a hammer at my cat. She told me "he can't help it" and left telling me I was heartless for shouting at a "special needs child"

 

Anyways....the new school he's at are now saying he needs more individual educational needs and the other 18 pupils in the class are suffering because he demands 90% of the teachers time. My mate is outraged and her words were "he deserves the same attention as everyone else" . This is where we fell out. I completely agree with her.....BUT.....what about the other 18 kids? Getting 10% off their teachers time. 

 

That school must have reports from his last school and MUST have known his needs. They have no provisions for special needs classes. My mate freely admitted that but told me she needed to move and "kinda winged it" when she visited the school. 

 

I think she's being unfair. 

1 - by not being honest with the school and playing down her sons needs and

2 - by reporting the school for failure to meet her sons needs

Cags I agree whole heartedly with everything you have said.  I have a friend who has 6 kids, 2 of them diagnosed with special needs, adhd and dyspraxia.  But it boils my blood when we are together and her kids are calling me Aunty C*** and instead of her telling them off she tells them I won't buy them a Christmas present (I don't anyway). 

 

Was there a reason she moved to the new place because the school had good reports for accommodating special needs children OR just because it had good ofsted reports?

ebay 

Just watched Primal Scream on red button 301, when they're not being ersatz Rolling Stones, they're a pretty good band. Actually, even when they're being ersatz Rolling Stones they're sometimes a good band.

 

Bobbie Gillespie and 'the scream' still rockin' in their late 40s and not looking their age!

Cinds - she moved because they offered her cheap housing. There was nowhere in her area and when they said would you be willing to live a bit more rural she said yes. It was either that or a BnB.

 

She does nothing to disipline him. I might sound harsh but if any of mine threw a hammer at an animal or a human they'd get they're arsed skelped and the biggest lecture in the world to make them feel like shite. If any of mine swore or was violent to anyone they'd get they're arse skelped. She babies him. He can do whatever he wants with a cuddle at the end of it. That's not helping him. I'm not saying skelping his arse is the answer but he does need some kind of discipline. Some sense of boundaries. How far is she gonna let him go before she realises he's ruling her and not vice versa? He's wrecked almost everything she owns. His tantrums go from screaming the house down to beating her to doing the toilet wherever he feels like it. Last I heard he shit in the cats food bowl and mixed it with the cats food.

 

How do I help her?

 

The only way I see to help her is advice her to give him discipline. He'll take that hard at his age after having none so far. You can't have a child acting like that though. It's disgusting at any age. He knows no better though because he's never been told it's wrong. A week in my house would soon sort him out but I can't take him. When he was here last (and threw the hammer at my cat) my kids basically ignored him.

 

I feel so sorry for him. He must be so frustrated. Nobody understands him.....but then he has nobody around him trained to understand him.

 

 

Sounds like your mate is doing her son no favours at all. A child with ADHD needs firm boundaries and discipline - giving into him doesn't help - he really needs to know what is acceptable behaviour and what will not be tolerated if he is to stand half a chance. I hate it when parents blame the school for their own failings.

she's reported this school Soozy. For not meeting her sons needs. They are both to blame. I said I'd phone her tomorrow. I don't know what to say. You know me. I can't keep my mouth shut. I may offend but I'll say it anyway and apologise afterwards. I really feel she is harming her son by not getting him the help he needs. I don't mean taking him away from her but I think it's not only him that needs education.

 

My husband has taken all phones away from me so I can't contact her tonight.

 

Am hungry!

me too. I got a kebab on speed dial. He doesn't know it yet but if he comes home without a donor he's on the sofa. I'll text him in a minute.

Just noshed a cheese & brown sauce sandwich...am not as patient as you!

I don't think there's any need for you to apologise Cags, you're completely right and she will have to take that on board. Can you imagine the danger she might be in when he's a few years older and too strong for her? For all concerned, changes will have to be made.

Sorry Cagney I wandered off last night.  

 

Like Soozy says, your mate isn't doing herself or the boy any favours by not disciplining him.  

 

I know how hard it is to try and hold your tongue or to say something in such a way that it won't cause offence.  Good luck today 

Cagney your mate sounds like she really needs help. If it were me I'd try and find her a support/advice group of some sort where there are other parents of children with ADHD. There she may pick up tips on what help is available and how to get it and also advice on how to control/discipline her son from people with the same issues. (ie if she see's other kids with ADHA being told off and punished for bad behaviour she wont be able to use the same old excuses and may change her parenting style)

 

Plus that way you don't end up falling out with her.

 

I agree with Cologne, as he gets older and stronger he could really hurt her or someone else.

I hope Cags friend is still talking to her. The thing is REAL friends tell you the truth even when it hurts. I hope she undertsands that.

 

Now then ... I get back from shopping to find our fiesty little black cat casually toying with a very lively and clearly terrified shrew on the drive so I chase her yelling - as I recall - "drop it you evil fecking bitch" only to be met with a rather bemused young man my daughter subsequently introduced as the new boyfriend.

 

Is this salvageable?

I would say - start as you mean to go on He'll know now not to mess with you or your daughter.

Sister.  Can't say about what but something important enough for me to have to prove myself right.

 

You can't pick your family, eh? 

I've a sore boob!!!    It hurts a bloody lot!  Went to the docs but have to wait 2 more weeks before going back and I'm ready to scream.

 

ION one of my favourite programmes starts tonight again, Take Me Out!!

oooooooooooooh dear Ells My sisters coming up on Tuesday - I'm very excited - we're usually surrounded by a gaggle of kids and grandkids but she's coming on her own. It'll be lovely.

I'm lucky enough that I've got 2 other sisters, one who I'm really close to, and one brother aswell as lots of nieces and nephews so....I was going to say I don't care but really, I don't even know what I feel for her 

That makes it really difficult Ells.  I have 4 sisters, I am close to them all, but closer to 2 than the other 2, but I think that's because the 2 I am close to are very similar in their thinking to me whereas the other 2 are very quick to judge but should really keep their hands clasped tightly over their mouths as they judge on things they themselves are very guilty of. 

 

But like you say, you can't pick your family. 

ION, I've been driftwood hunting today and came home with 6 pieces, 2 that I am considering for my dining room lighting idea, the rest will be used as decoration in my garden.  We went up to Cambois, which is where the river Wansbeck comes out in to the North Sea.  Thought that due to it bursting it's banks the other week it would be an ideal driftwood hunting spot.  It was a beautiful day up there, the dogs had a fab time.

 

We've come home all fresh air tired, which is wonderful, but seeing as the boys away we were going to go out and party but are so tired we've decided to stay home and I am baking pies and pasties to gorge on before I start my Jenny Craig diet next week. 

Aye sea air always knocks me for 6 aswell Cinds.  Plenty of nights out have been put off after a trip to the seaside.

 

Your night sounds better to me.  Probably because I'm a tad hungover from the wine last night.

Thanks everyone

 

I might talk tough but I'm a big wuss really. I've agreed to take him for a week in the holidays. I know I slagged his mum but I do really feel she thinks she's doing what's best for him. Maybe I'm spoiled with the 5 kids I've got or maybe I'm a bit of a little Hitler  They push it.....but they know the boundaries and my punishments are harsh so they rarely make the same mistake twice  When my girls were little and pushed it too far I put everything they had in black bags and gave it to charity. I've been known to strip their room of everything but the beds. I think this boy needs a firm hand but I don't think I should be the one to do it. I think his mother is hoping I'll sort him out. That's not my job

Tell me about it  

Cagney, are you me?  I have done exactly the same thing with the boy.  I get told I am TOO hard on him, but then I sit there while those same parents kids are calling them all sorts and basically taking the piss out of them safe in the knowledge my boy would never speak to me like that.  (He might call me all sorts behind my back )

I've signed up for the free trials at Netflix and Lovefilm.  They're both a bit shit and don't have as much choice as they'd have you believe.

 

I need something to watch for the night.  I'm thinking of rewatching Prison Break or 24 for the gazillionth time coz I can't find anything.

I thought my punishment was quite sufficient without having to listen to Dolphins by Tim Buckley. (DDI)

I'm the same. I haven't actually given away the black bags but they were filled and there were lots of tears and remorse..... I pull them up on the slightest things as imo that's where it starts... lack of respect and bad behaviour all stem from there. I too get told I'm too strict but then i also get complimented on how polite and well mannered they are so i don't really care that people think I'm hard.

 

God reading that back makes me sound like a total witch

 

The tea shop in the village is re opening today - it's had a re furb and is under new management. The old one was great but she's moved to bigger premises in the next village. I'm off with my dirlie shortly .......................exciting! (How boring am I?)

That was my experience exactly ....................it used to make me laugh when people said 'OMG - you're so lucky kids are so well behaved' - it was like it just happened. TBH - I think a lot of parents are lazy and do anything for a quiet life - in my experience it backfire big time. Hate to say it but my sons partner (mother of my grand sons) is like that - I try my best to put things right but it's an uphill struggle.

Just about to set off for the game. Went to pay the hotel bill and was surprised to be served by James cordon speaking with a German accent. It must have been him but he denied everything!

Do I meet you at 15:30?

^^^^^^ that was a text reply

  It could have been so much worse.