I know Machel!  Hopefully one of them ^^ will be up next week.

Ahh, house cleaned, family fed and being packed of to relatives til bedtime soon... nails painted and booze chilling. It's shaping upto be a very good Sat night out! With added 2 hrs to myself to get ready/chill

Out for anything special Jen?

 

I'm out tonight aswell but unlike you I've nothing done yet  Well I'm bathed and hair dried and I think I know which dress to wear.  Just need to do tan, hair and then make up before I go out the door then it's pre drinks in my mates house til around 11 then we'll hit the town.

Have a great evening you two 

Thanks Sooz I intend to

That lassie's a professional drinker  

 

Like me  

 

Have a good night Ells  

 I've been really good lately  

 

Thanks.....hope I'm not dying tomorrow, the hangovers these days puts me off drinking.

I just know that I'm the only person who sits on her own laughing hysterically at You've Been Framed 

 

I'm seriously sad but - I can't help it

You're wrong, it's a Saturday date with me.  ...and while I'm at it, mea culpa for the other day. I'm not going to explain it to peeps who don't know, but I just wanted to say sorry.

Ells, i wasn't out for any special reason... I've been close friends with my mate for 3yrs now and we'd only been out once near the beginning! I was preg, then when my baby was a few weeks old she found out she was preg so we've been trying to arrange this for a while now,

 

Was a fab night! really enjoyed myself

 

My head... and feet are killing me today though.... Kfc is on its way to my house

I can't believe you've mentioned KFC  Now I want hotwings.

 

I NEED hotwings.

The Kfc is taking its bloody time though!

I need more sleep.  I only got 6 hours which is not even nearly enough for me on a good day nevermind after drinking.

 

One of those mornings - nothing going right - think everything is under control now though.

 

Just wanted to say I finished a really good book last night - would recommend it to anyone who likes WW1 novels (like Birdsong etc.) It was called 'My dear I wanted to Tell You' by Louis Young - so beautifully written and incredibly moving.

 

Just thought I'd share that.

 

Ooooh and my book shelf is finally up on the wall.

 

Have a good day folks and - you two ^^^^ hope the hangovers recede soon 

We were very proud a couple of weeks ago when our son (aged 14) told us he'd got an A* in his English Exam.

 

Today, my daughter thrust some papers at us and said "you have to read his English Exam essay..   the one he got an A* on"

 

Apparently they had to do some writing, starting with "Don't get me started on"

 

"Don't get me started on chores.  Just don't.  See, when I was younger, I was told that everything that happens to me has a reason and a purpose.  It was my parents that told me such lies and if you believe these then I have one word that disproves them: chores.  I've been forced to struggle through gruelling tasks day in, day out and I am sick of it.

 

I am talking about the uselessness of chores I don't mean in general, I mean specifically me doing them.  I am the youngest of my family, I live with three of them.  I fail to believe that every single day all of them are unable to do these things, yet somehow the job is still dumped onto me.  I'm short, weaker and far less patient than the rest of my family - therefore, it's done to a lower quality and takes over twice the time to complete.  Maybe I should talk about said chores in a little more detail:

 

We have a dishwasher, so I don't have to do the dishes (thank God).  However, each evening, after dinner, I try and make a quick getaway to my room to hear my Stepdad's booming voice project the word "Dishwasher" as I'm halfway up the stairs.  Unloading can be ok when the dishwashers half empty already and there are only plates, glasses & cutlery in there.  But the case is often that its bottom shelf is filled with saucepans, pets bowls and random metal tools that do God knows what.   So, I'd grab a saucepan from the dishwasher and open the saucepan cupboard to find lids, sieves and a collander on top of where I need to stack this heavy saucepan.   So by five minutes, I have finally got the cupboard clear and an arm that hurts like hell.

Our family's' dog food bowl is meant to be put in a cupboard where it simply does not fit.  So rather than do what my family do (stuff it in so that it falls out as soon as the cupboard door is opened) I always try to put it somewhere secure, and do you know what happens?  The plastic bowls all fall out.  Then the tupperware boxes.  Then the lids to these boxes.  And before you know it, the whole cupboard just empties itself all of the kitchen, making one hell of a noise.  Then just when I think It couldn't get any worse, I hear jeering and laughter coming from the lounge.  The whole kitchen is a train wreck, the dishwasher's still practically full and rather than helping me, they just laugh.  It take an absolute age to return the cupboard to how it was, so I just shove the dogs bowl in there.   Half of the things that get loaded I swear my parents have never used them.  When I ask what these obscure objects are and where to put them, my sister gets up, pushes me and literally swears at me, telling me that I'm lying and I do know where its to be put.  Then she just unloads the dishwasher and gets in a mood about it.  This stuff doesn just happen once in a blue moon - the comical sketch occurs on a regular basis.

I know that tidying my room is kind of cleaning up after myself and that I should do it, but its like one of those chinese finger traps - the more you pull the tighter it gets.   The more I tidy my room the messier it gets.  I'm being serious, its honestly like that.  I try, but then my Stepdad's eyes widen when he sees it.  Then eventually, the job is designated to my sister, who just puts things in stupid places.

 

At about 8 on a Sunday morning, once every couple of months, my Stepdad drags me out of bed & demands me to give him a hand washing the cars.   I can't even reach some parts of it and what I do wash my Stepdad points out that I've done it wrong and goes over it anyway!  Then he just sends me to do another chore, as a punishment, which brings me onto my next topic:

 

My parents are less than reasonable.   If I don't do one little job they strip me from my PS3, laptop, iPod, TV and everything else I own.   Just to point out, these things that they confiscate are MINE.   They steal from me because I don't clean up their mess.   That makes no sense whatsoever!  I try to reason with them, they get all angry at me!

 

Its just one of those things that I can'd do anything about, I have to just put up with it.  Its hard, laborious and difficult, and things that fit such a description don't fit well to lazy people like myself.  I just want to relax after a long day at school, but that's seemingly too much to ask for now. 

 

I have a deep, strong hatred for the endless cycle that eats away at my life.  I can't stand doing something again, and again, and again.  I can't even explain the extent my hate goes towards chores, it boils my blood to even mention its name.  Therfore I shall stop my ramblings now.  Good day.

 

 

 

Teachers comments:

 

Detail & depth, impact upon the reader 

Creative answer 

Punctuation used to add impact

 

10/10 + 9/10 = 19/20 = A*

 

 

 

 

Obviously we are wicked wicked parents...    don't you feel sorry for the poor little mite? 

You is eebil dishwasher loaders! ! Brilliant piece of writing ditty, could feel my blood pressure rising as I read it.. tell the boy I feel his pain! ! 

( and I read it in a ranty voice in my head! ) ! 

He must have been sat in that exam room absolutely fuming...   face screwed up in anger...  pen flying across the paper...   

 

I would LOVE to have seen his face 

 

 

Its come back to bite him on the bum now though...   we keep quoting bits back to him 

unloading the dishwasher once a day is his ONLY chore.

 

he mentioned 8am car washing..    its been many years since he or my husband have seen 8am on a Sunday morning...  and he mentions he couldn't reach some areas needing washing..   THAT WAS COS THE ONE TIME THIS HAPPENED WAS ABOUT 7 YEARS AGO!!  

That sooooooooo deserved a thread of it's own!  

if I did that now it would be ramming down peoples throats! 

you do it 

Terrible terrible life that child has,there has to be a transcript of some description out there ,it's dated yes but the content overall remains the same ,the same darn one my sons memorised.

I feel all self conscious now  

me too..   don't do it 

 

he is soooo hard done by! 

Lol

I read it and thought it was genius Ditts 

Got my 14 yo to read it and she just shrugged and said "but he's right!"

 

 

FREE THE DITTSVILLE ONE!!!

 

 

 

Don't bliddy laugh too soon,for a lot of them it becomes a permanent aspect of their personality,

 

 

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

they really do believe it don't they?  

 

the line "I have a deep, strong hatred for the endless cycle that eats away at my life"  I can't stop reading it...   he is talking about emptying the dishwasher!!!  

Gawd, I hope the poor girl that takes him on doesn't stand for his crap! 

Ditty do you keep a diary?,could he have been snooping in it and plagiarising .

hahahaha... 

 

you know..  there are the odd few sentences in amongst all that that I am fairly sure I have said in the past 

The struggle of every day life for that poor child must be horrendous!

I'm getting adverts for book ends cos of Soozy!

Best day of the holiday so far, everyone has gone to the beach so I've had the villa and pool all to myself all day. There's just been a fab dance session round the pool to beyonce 'single ladies'.

 

I'm so jealous Cinds, i'm thinking i need to get the paddling pool out now lol

 Mine have arrived - they're really nice - still searching for nice piccies to put in them.

 

 

*************WARNING*************** get your wellies and raincoats ready - I have FINALLY got the pool out today - the boys have just gone home - gonna download a good book to my kindle and get out in the garden. Any suggestions? I've got a trial read on Stephen Kings 11.22.63 but I'm open to persuasion before I buy.

This video made my

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/od...k-on-wife-video.html

oohh, which ones did you go for Soozy ? ( bookends I mean. not books! )