Thanx Pirate

I have just watched an item on telly showing how handrails for escalators are made. Riveting stuff

 Could come in handy Moonie!

Not in this life Rog

EDIT: its guitar strings now... and wigs now

 Thats quality tv 

I watch that channel too... its carp... but I still watch it 

The thing is, I have seen 99% of them before Rog but still watch em

Do I really want to know how a coffee machine is made?

Nope, off for lunch and then shopping. See you later Rog

Okey dokes  Moonie, see you later  

This made me laugh ......lovely way to brighten up a journey

http://metro.co.uk/2014/06/02/...ne-loves-it-4747193/

I am really not sure what happened here !

Steven Gerrard reveals that England are preparing for World Cup penalty shootouts by practising shaking their heads while looking dejected

It will make a change from missing most of them Pirate

Bliddy hell! She looks like a chimney sweep.

A prankster has caused a stir with supermarket shoppers after swapping wine label descriptions with his own hilarious versions.

The joker printed off five self-made comedy labels for different wines and stuck them on the shelves at a Tesco store in Brixton, south London – but reckons store bosses still haven’t noticed his prank.

One of the labels, for a £4.09 bottle of Vineyards Soave, describes the wine as: ‘Agile clam flavours with a suspicion of red Kryptonite. Great with roadkill or clam chowder. Taste guide: P Funk.’

    

•   SHARE PICTURE        

 

<input id="share-url-input" type="text" value="" />         

Copy link to paste in your message

 

+5

One of the labels, for a £4.09 bottle of Vineyards Soave, describes the wine as: 'Agile clam flavours with a suspicion of red Kryptonite. Great with roadkill or clam chowder. Taste guide: P Funk'

 

<input id="share-url-input" type="text" value="" />         

Copy link to paste in your message

 

The anonymous joker described a £5.79 bottle of Shiraz as tasting like 'bitter clown tears with a hint of suspicion'

Another label, for a bottle of Blue Nun, reads: ‘Made by actual blue nuns in sea caves protected by wild otters. Full bodied with a hint of wet sand. Taste guide: Dancehall.’

The labels were cleverly printed to look exactly the same as Tesco ones, and even include a barcode and information about Clubcard points.

The prankster claims to have come up with the scheme while he was shopping with his partner.

He said: ‘I was navigating the aisles of my local supermarket when, due to my girlfriend's inability to make a quick decision, my eye was drawn to the flowery descriptions of some of their lower end wines.

‘Phrases like “warming spice flavours”, “smooth finish” and “floral notes” seemed to litter the florid accounts of the wines' supposed qualities.

 

<input id="share-url-input" type="text" value="" />         

Copy link to paste in your message

 

Another label, for a bottle of Blue Nun, says: 'Made by actual blue nuns in sea caves protected by wild otters. Full bodied with a hint of wet sand. Taste guide: Dancehall'

 

<input id="share-url-input" type="text" value="" />         

Copy link to paste in your message

 

The joker, who also changed a sign in a Sainsbury's store to read 'a pretentious yet sensitive wine with a hint of snozzberry', reckons staff still haven't noticed the change

‘Now, it just so happens that wine is  firmly on my banned substance list so I certainly wasn't in the position to put these contrived claims to the test.

‘Instead I decided to get down with a bit of culture jamming and recreate the descriptions using my overactive imagination as a guide.

‘I think what we're left with is probably a more honest appraisal of the wine's true character.’

The anonymous joker described a £5.79 bottle of Shiraz as tasting like ‘bitter clown tears with a hint of suspicion.

 

<input id="share-url-input" type="text" value="" />         

Copy link to paste in your message

 

The joker printed off five self-made comedy labels for different wines and stuck them on the shelves at a Tesco store in Brixton, south London. They were cleverly printed to look the same as Tesco ones with barcodes

He added: ‘Great with lobster Thermidor. Best drunk in the street. Taste guide: Trouser Jazz.’

The joker, who also changed a sign in a nearby Sainsbury's store to read ‘a pretentious yet sensitive wine with a hint of snozzberry’, reckons staff still haven't noticed the change.

He said: ‘I'd like to think these will go unnoticed by the staff until some eagle eyed customer decides to spoil my fun and brings it to their attention. Only time will tell.'

That's ^^ you isn't it Saint, tell the truth.

How I wish it was. its a stroke of genius beyond me

 . . . and to be honest I have thought about doing something similar LOL

 I love that. 

I do! She decided she would give snorting coke a go, but unfortunately bought a bag of coke the fossil fuel.

Oh dear ...............the process of tarting/tattying up the Patio has begun I've never been one who believes that 'less is more' - however - I've returned from shopping with a few bits and bobs - two deliveries have been left 'round the back' ...............all excited but - I didn't bargain for the dead bird right in the middle of the patio . Think it must have flown into the French doors.

At least it wasn't a horses head

I am sooo annoyed

I went and joined slimming world earlier... had to take the kids. but i've seen others take their kids so thought it would be fine... filled out paper work... got my books etc... and my little one was being a F*&£$%£%^$^&£% nightmare... so much so i ended up walking out

  brill

Awww Jen, is there any chance you'd get to the first meeting on your own?  Then after that it's a lot quicker so she hopefully won't kick up too much of a fuss if you're in and out.  I used to have to take my youngest and he'd play up some times but then they moved it to a school gym so he'd faff about on the equipment while I got weighed and then we'd leave again.

^^  Is that Gemma Collins?  She has gorgeous eyes but really overdoes everything else from head to toe.

I was so embarrassed Ells, i actually cried on the way home... I don't know why... i even managed to pay them before doing a disappearing act

The same group is at 7:30 tonight too so if their Dad gets back in time i might go back up there... if i can face the shame I did txt the woman and apologised as soon id put miss naughty to bed.

Well i have a determination about me at the minute (learning to drive, starting college etc) so i went back to the second meeting and finished my sign up, got weighed and a target etc. I proud of myself ( i know for nothing really) for going back in there after bolting earlier

Awww well done to you Jen

Jen well done, hope it works for you.  I've done it several times and when I am focused I can lose with it.....I just get bored and for some reason as soon as I start it, that's when people want to have drinks, go out etc!  Try www.minimins.com (maybe co.uk) for the best tips and recipes....it's a hidden gem and you'll be amazed at some of the info on there.

Ooow thanx for the Ells

I have only ever tried to lose weight once before using the myfitnesspal app, it's brilliant and i did lose while i was using it but there was no inspiration with it so i slowly deviated from it.

I found so much more info on that site than at the meetings that I stopped going and did it myself at home.  That worked for only a few weeks then I started to gain again.  The meetings, for me, meant I was too embarrassed to get on the scales and hear her saying I'd gained so that was always what kept me on track.  

I lost two and a half stone with slimming world - I sort of manage to maintain it too. Once you get your head around it slimming world is a really good eating plan.

well done!

trick is to keep it off

but you will

cos you have a trusty avatar

anyway

this is of no interest to anyone

but ive been looking for an 'everything but the girl' album for YEARS!

just found it

from 1985

its got *anytown* on it

when i was about 15 a group of students used to share my place

they always played this album

memories etc

students

i was tall for my age

i never said i was 15 lol

Yes, me too. I have been looking for a product where I can get the word "bow-locks" into the description.

BTW: Anyone know where one can get hold of the fonts supermarkets use?

bow locks if i know

but try

"ASDA": PF Highway Sans Pro Black

"TESCO": NewtextEF Demi

"Sainsbury's": DTL Argo ST (Medium)

"MORRISONS": Siseriff LT Std

The stuff you learn on here lol 

Nice one Pirate

I'll see if I can get some free ones from the web.

EC I see a challenge coming on