Bliddy hell, tough situation.

 

Ells, have you told your son you've emailed his school - as proof you've seriously had enough. Tell him the next step if he doesn't catch himself on, is making an appointment to discuss the situation with his headmaster. Hopefully the threat will be enough?

Oooh yes, he knows I emailed the school.  He was told there was no way we were just sweeping it under the carpet.  I'm hoping he has learned his lesson on that issue at least but for now he's still not allowed his PC and laptop back.  And now, after the stealing, the xbox has been taken again.  We've had a few discussions about the porn issue since he was caught.  He 'seems' to understand the seriousness of it but I dunno, he seems to have become such a good liar that I don't know if he really is sincere.  

 

 

  Hard to know what's going on in his head then.

 

Jeez poor Ells... and you preggy!  You should be looking after yourself and taking it easy right now xx 

 

 

Ells short reply cos away ATM. A girl close to me (not mine) was watching porn at age 10! She's a lovely girl now (14)

I would definetly  get on the schools case!

As for all the other stuff, moody, cheeky and just being an arse? My 10 it old son has just started this crap I make allowances as he's the middle kid and the only boy but he's an emotional little shit recently! If he doesn't have an electronic device in his hand he annoys his sisters or has a grumpy face as long as a horse! 

I feel your pain and ivd just realised this isn't a short reply! Sorry

Ells 

 

My grand son is 12 - he has changed so much since starting secondary school. Far more moody and uncommunicative. I find it really sad. He struggles with a lot of his school work as he is Dyslexic but never had it confirmed. I know this because his father (my son) is and Mr Woo also. He doesn't do his homework and is forever in detention. When he first started secondary we had an arrangement and he'd come to me for a few hours each week and I'd help him sort his homework (and his head out). For some reason his mother didn't like it and has put a stop to it and it's all going pear shaped. I'm sorry to say but his mother isn't terribly bright and sees no value in education so she gives him no help or encouragement and has no expectations for him.

 

It's all very worrying and very depressing but at the end of the day he's not my child and there's little I can do. As for the porn - H had had some friends round at my house a short while ago and they had been using my tablet - they didn't log off properly and I found they'd been watching porn. I took him to one side and told him all similar stuff to you - I also told him that I could get into serious trouble for having stuff like that on my computer and that if the other boys parents found out that I could be taken to court etc. etc. I 'think' I put the fear of God into him and hope some of it sunk in.

 

Last week I told him to put 101 Dalmations on TV for his brother- I came back into the room to find him watching The Inbetweeners Movie  I said 'what on earth are you doing watching that? I'm a grown up and I was embarrassed at some parts of that film - it's very OTT' - he simply turned it off and said 'I've already seen it - I saw it at lukes house last week.'

 

We live in a different world these days. They're unfortunately not babies for long.  

Blimey Ells ... just when you could do with chilling for a bit

 

Two things ... he's probably watching porn to fit in. Sadly it seems that all the other boys are watching it and he wants to be able to join in and discuss what he's seen.

 

He doesn't like football Ells. He doesn't like playing with the kids in the street. But you want him to, you want him to fit in in this situation. What does he like ( apart from the X box of course!)? Amateur dramatics? Music? Judo? If you could find out what he likes, you could channel his energies in that direction and he would meet like minded youngsters and not be so bored.

 

As for the stealing, well you are both pushing each other at the moment. You've taken his stuff, so he's pushing you further by stealing, so you take more stuff. I wonder what he will do next.

 

What can he do to earn his stuff back again? Maybe some cleaning about the house, do the shopping, wash the car?

 

At the moment you are in a lose/lose situation and it's up to you as the adult to find a way through it so that you are both happy.

 

The school will do nothing. They will be so frightened that the media will get hold of the story that they will do all they can to sweep it under the carpet. 

 

Sadly I think you are on your own with this one Good luck

Rexi we've let him join every single club he has asked to join.  Football, summer scheme, judo, kickboxing, violin, choir, cooking...he gives them all up after a few weeks because there are always other people who have been there longer and are better at it than him.  Once he knows he's not great at something, he gives up.  I have asked him to write a list of all the things he loves doing inside the house and outside, he wrote playing xbox and playing with Jack.  Jack was his best friend who now likes to mix with the other boys too but my son won't mix with them.  His geography teacher at school mentioned to us that she sees him as a lovely boy who doesn't mix the best because he is lacking in confidence so she gave us info with different after school clubs and offered him a place in a confidence growing type group that do activities to help them along.  He refused and said he doesn't need it and that weekend arranged to go out with mates from school for a few hours so we know he CAN mix when he wants to....but he has no interest in doing so.  It's very sad to be honest, he just doesn't seem to have any interests apart from xbox.

 

When we go on days out he seems to enjoy himself if it's based on something he likes (cinema, meals out, bowling) but if it's something based on what his brother likes (zoo, park) he huffs about all day and picks at his brother.  It seems if it's not of interest to him then he's going to make sure no-one else enjoys it.  Then there are times when he's great, he's not a nightmare all the time.  He makes me tea if he thinks I'm sick or tired, he's interested in the new baby coming, when he is allowed xbox he is happy in his room bothering no-one but that's not a life for a 12 year old.  

 

The moody change has just come out of nowhere since starting secondary school but he gave up on friends the summer before P7, we had just been hoping that he'd find new interests when he started secondary and that new friends would mean he'd want to do more.  Nope.  He has always been the same in regards to clubs etc, shows an interest then gives up.  I don't want him sitting around the house wasting the summer because he doesn't want to bother with anything.  

 

I've emailed the local youth clubs asking for info on what clubs and events they have for his age.  We sent him to summer scheme last year and he wasn't happy because they played football most of the week and he just hates it so hopefully somewhere has something other than football running!

 

 

Soozy that's exactly what we did too.  We told him it was illegal to be watching that stuff and if he watched something that police were investigating that it could be traced back here and that they wouldn't believe that he had been watching it and that it would be his Dad who would be jailed for it.  I was hoping that would scare the bejesus out of him too.

Aww Jen, I wish I could say it gets easier but....it's doesn't     Not in my case anyway.  

 

He is sitting here now ignoring me, because this is what he does when he's being punished!!  

I really feel for you Ells I wouldn't want to go through my kids teenage years again for all the tea in china ! My son in particular got up to all sorts ....and I do mean all sorts .....it was like he went to bed one type of kid and got up the next morning a total moron! I just thank goodness there was no internet etc. in those days...although he did have Sinclair ZX I seem to remember Trouble is every generation seems to find new ways to * act out* ....and every generation seems to do it earlier !! Having said that , I guess we were all little horrors in our own ways and in our own era ....and now look at us , all grown up ..well kind of Seriously, don't beat yourself up too much ....as others have said , you're doing all the right things, telling him right from wrong and in the end thats all you can do .

Ahhh Baz, I think this is my karma for being such a bitch to my Mum when I was 16/17.  I didn't act out for long but considering I got pregnant within that time then I think it was a pretty big deal for my Mum!  

 

 

Bless  when I look back I gave my parents hell too But if it's any comfort at all , my kids are around 40 now and I am watching them going through it with their kids ...* and trying not to smirk * Hang in there ....I'm sure your son will come right in the end ...none of us are teenagers for ever ...thank goodness ! Just buy some hair dye for the grey hairs he's giving you  

I should have had my kids closer together.  When this boy is 18 my youngest will be 14 and no doubt putting me through it again.  Then when HE is 18 the new baby will be 10 and I'll be dreading going through it again lol.....I've got a long few years ahead of me!

True ....at least mine were only 15 months apart ....twice the trouble but half the time  

In less interesting news......tea is giving me terrible heartburn!!  I need my tea as soon as I get up but it leaves me with the worst heartburn for hours.  I've taken gaviscon after my tea every morning but it doesn't work.  I had just been saying to my OH that I hadn't been suffering with it this pregnancy and next morning it starts!  

Have you any andrews salts, rennies or a try wee bit of bicarbonate of soda?

Could be nervous indigestion with all the stress?

Hope you feel better soon Ells. Heartburn is horrible xx 

I've got my son home for the weekend. He does a bit of running - I said I was thinking of taking up running and might do the Race for Life. He told me to watch this video for inspiration.

 

PMSL ......... if  you want a good laugh pleeeeeeeese watch till the end. I can't stop giggling.

 

 

 

I've got rennies aswell but they make me gag when I put them in my mouth  The baby has moved upwards this past few days so I think that's pushing on my stomach and causing the acid reflux. 

Aww Ells that'll be it  

You're not having it easy a.t.m. you poor thing.

I'm fine Rog   I've been dealing with the boys carry on for a while now, it just got on top of me last night with the stealing and I needed to vent because I haven't confided in anyone else about the porn etc so I'm glad I posted here.  Thank you for listening.....all of you xxx

Hope things ease up for you Ells 

Check with your Doctor if you're OK to take Zantac .........I used to suffer with heartburn and Zantac work 100% ALL THE TIME! Not sure if they're OK for pregnant women though .........it really is worth checking out. 

Anyone tried these? I fancy them for Christmas .

 

 

 

 

Erin I have some, they're lovely. Definitely recommend.

Cheers Cinds, I am ordering them they do add that extra special touch.

I just HAVE TO HAVE one of these. I can't remember when I was last so excited about something

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem...dults-want-kids.html

What  a brilliant idea!

As one of the comments asks, how are you going to get back up the stairs to have another go?  

I came home from Birmingham about 6pm, got straight into pj's, ordered Chinese, ate and fell asleep on the sofa.

Ells, your boy sounds like mine was at that age. Hated sport, hated music coz he couldn't master the instrument after one lesson, and quite happy with his own company. He turned out alright. Be kind to youself and let it all mellow for a bit

 

Erin ... I've just thrown away half a jar of those hibiscus flowers. The look like spiders in the glass and put me off my wine! And it takes a lot to do that!

Did you have a good birthday party?

Ohh yes, that'll make mornings interesting! I want one of those!

There were so many people there (Sis in law has a big family)

 

I was a little worse for wear as whenever i stay at my Dads (Sat night) We end up putting the world to rights until the early hours with a few drinks

That's the best way to do it Jen

Opps ...poor Kate.

Awwwwwwwwww - this is lovely.

 

http://www.goforyourraise.com/...l-from-26-countries/

 

 

There is a couple of very strange posteriors there.

 

Kate.  Mmmm

 

 

Down and out! Engagement off and dumped out of the French Open in the first round - defeated by a player ranked 50 places below her.

 

Not a great 7 days for Wozniacki!