Groan

I saw this advert in the window that said: 'Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.' I thought: 'I can't turn that down.'

 You're on a roll.

Keep 'em coming pirate

im going there on saturday

Akamba is a little haven in the west midlands

mind you its supposed to piss down on the night

me and my mate said were going to dress up in african kaftans

OH says we cant

What's the difference between a woman and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

My mate Jim Apple gets a lot of grief when people ask who he is in France

I don't get that one 

My mate told me that he was pulling off his boxers before going to bed,
when his Missus said, 'you spoil those dogs'

and thats rude

sorry

but it made me laugh

Jim Apple - Je m'appelle.

Je m'appelle..

how you ask a name in french

cheers yogilol

Ahhhhh

(but I don't get the boxer short one either )

The man who invented Velcro has died.
RIP.

 You're welcome.

ahhhh ... just reread it - Pirate

nah someone else explain that one please

Jonathan Ross arrested in Ikea for stealing a food mixer,
he said it was worth the whisk

 Not me this time! You are on your own with this one.

my work here is done

I got it in the end!!!

Sorry everyone that has that problem  

Phew! Thought my eldest might have had tonsillitis or something cos she's been complaining of a sore throat for a few days..... (We're on Hols from Monday!!) took her docs and it's just a sore throat.... Had to check though as knowing my luck we would have got there and she would have needed anti biotics

Don;t you just love that advert,

"Have you had a cough lasting over 2 weeks - its could be lung cancer"

Cheerful thought

Has anyone seen Ditty about lately? I was just thinking about her and her Mum. If anyone sees her elsewhere please will you tell her I was asking after her. Thanks

I'm sure she won't mind if I tell you she's ok atm as much you could be. I'm not on FB but read the Ship. It's up to her to tell you, yeah? 

I had a look on FB yesterday but she's not been on for a while, hope she's ok 

Thanks Xochi. Yes, I know what you mean. 

Yesterday morning we were up quite early and decided to go down to Shotton for Mr C to get some sky diving in. On our way stopped at a Macdonalds to get coffee, anyway I had a loyalty voucher for a free regular coffee (as I take coffee in most days to work for everyone), so we asked for one regular and one large. Handed him the usual price of a large latte and he said no it's 50p more, so I asked why they were charging 50p more for the same coffee than the macdonalds less than a mile away? He told me it was because they were a franchise. So I said it didn't matter, I'd just have the regular with my voucher. Now I know it's only 50p, but it's also a 33% mark up than the other for the same cup of coffee.

Anyway, we drove to the next window to collect the cup of coffee, and the cancellation hadn't come through to them quick enough and they handed us the 2 coffees we had originally ordered. I went to tell them but Mr C drove off before I could. We stole coffee

They also have different "rules" about sauce, some charge 10p while others give it away free. (The ones in sachets)

Calls the cops 

Sounds like they were trying to rob you first Cinds

Checked my Euro lottery,   in the millionaire raffle I was less than 300 away from winning  never been so close

Awww Machel that's a bit sickening isn't it?

I remember being pissed off at my partner because I had asked him to get me a lucky dip when he was at the shops.  He didn't.

Next morning my sister rang me to say someone in our area had won the EUROMILLIONS jackpot and I had said to her about my partner not getting me a lucky dip and said if I found out the winner had got a lucky dip I'd be fuming.

A week or so later it was in the paper that yes, the winner had bought the lucky dip ticket only a few hours before the draw but we never knew at which shop.  That didn't stop me being pissed off and I kept reminding my partner that if he'd just gone and got the lucky dip it could have been us.  I know it would never have worked out that we would have got that winning ticket but I just wanted to let him know that when I say buy a lotto ticket that I really do mean buy one or else he'll never hear the end of it.

Oh and I was nowhere near any of them at all my ticket numbers weren't even close  I had a few tickets (I buy them if I'm at the lotto counter in a shop getting electric or whatever) and really thought I had a chance of winning at least something.  £2.70 I won.