I've wandered off with someone elses trolley

Oh God Soozy you sound just like my Mum  Her grocery shopping costs a small fortune because the never looks at the prices or what bargains and offers there are on different brands she just lifts something and puts it in the trolley.  It cracks me up when I'm with her and I end up walking behind her swapping out products.

Hello Mum.

Miss Beatrice,

the church organist,

was in her eighties

and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness

and kindness.

One afternoon, the pastor

came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet, and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter'.

Aww bless lmao i love little old lady jokes like that

Product innovation: Boob Glue is set to hit the shelves  next month

Erin

I might need more than the one tin.

That reminds me of a convo I had with a friend a few years ago. We were talking about the pencil test - I said I'm not so sure anymore a Smartie tube maybe - she said - Smartie tube? I'd not pass the test with a swiss roll and a jumbo one at that  

'Bosom Couture' 

What happens if you glue one higher than the other? 

*examines own anatomy without interventions* 

That's happens when it 'goes tits up'.

I still pass the pencil test 

What's.......nah, wont go there 

That post had rummaging in me cupboards Erin!

Top tip erin  

that's not strictly true... the start of the number reflects the country where the supplier of the item is based, not necessarily the same as the country of manufacture.   The company I work for has goods with a barcode starting 50 and we get them made all over the world.    Muhahahahaha!

Just saying....

It was an email I got from my mate ,Ishould  have researched it before I posted .Kaffy is right and the email is misleading.

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/product-bar-codes.shtml

I just heard this on the radio. A comment that was passed in the Commons, in reference to the raising of the minimum price for a unit of alcohol in supermarkets. Which looks like being scrapped now....

Is there anything that David Cameron can organise in a brewery? 

Made me LOL that did 

Both the dogs have been in for their annual boosters today, the boy got left behind to be sedated while he got his teeth done. We had to stay with him while the sedation took hold, mainly because he's a proper scrappy doo. 

I was so tearful watching him go under, I think I felt it was like he was being put to sleep for ever.  He lay in mr Cinds arms like a baby and the puked.

Then I went to pick him up and a massive sign on his cage saying "only let the owner let him out" the vet came in and was saying," I have never seen a dog behave so mental after an anaesthetic, they're normally so calm"

got him home and he has been asleep all night.

Aww Cinds, I don't have dogs but I do have children who have been put to sleep to get their teeth out and it's scary business.  I actually cried the first time when my eldest was put to sleep.  The doc told him to tell me he loved me and he conked out halfway through saying it.....like a scene in a movie when the kid dies  freaked me right out!!

Luckily they only keep kids knocked out for a few mins.

Cinds

Awww Ells that does sound like a movie!

Ohhh I bet it did.  My boy was a tiny baby the few times he's had to have an anesthetic & that was bad enough, never mind him conking out half way through speaking to me.

grumble grumble mutter mutter flamin' Inland Revenue 

*slams door*

Pleeeeeese don't bring their name onto here

I'm a bit superstitious like that 

Do you mean Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs?

My Grandma died yesterday ......  yes my Mum's Mum. Sorry to bring my sadness in here but the two yr old although she gives good cuddles doesn't really give the best conversation about it all lol

The funeral (in Ireland) is looking like it will be on Saturday (find out for sure later) so it looks like im canceling my party too

MrH had a self employed statement this morning for wait for it ......

£0.09p   something along the way I miscalculated and omitted I guess

a little message at the bottom made me laugh- as this is a small balance you might choose not to pay it  but remember there will be interest adding on to it 

We have had 3 years of grief with them and most of it was their fault - they can whistle for this 

oopps  .....  sorry Soozy   

aww Jen what a bumber on both parts ....  sorry about your Nan 

Thanx MrsH I think I'm ok today, better than yesterday anyway.

Awww Jen - sorry to hear about you Nan 

Hope you manage to sort your party even if it is at a later date