Nicked from DS but I thought we could play it, I'll start 
When entering a bar they order a pint but never say what of
They have everyone's phone number even if they never talk to them
No one on EE has a washing machine
A baddie comes along and accuses a local of something (kirsty and Tyrone) and the locals believe the new comer
They never spit bad news out, someone either interrupts them or they say it doesn't matter I'll tell you later
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They leave an important note for someone but it always fall down the side or under something.
They always leave secret pregnancy tests in the kitchen bin for everyone to find
There's never any cars parked on Coronation Street
There's never any cars parked on Coronation Street
That's because they have all been nicked 
Whenever someone makes a call the recipient always answers within a few seconds. And no one seems to say goodbye, they just hang up.
A massive percentage of the cast seems to sleep with each other.
Over and over and over and over again.
Dramatic silences always occur in a pub.
Everyone is always in a rush.
Actors exit via taxi - always!!
No one can have a reasoned/calm discussion.
Its always a dramatic 'to-do' and a 'storming off'.
Dramatic silences always occur in a pub.
Everyone is always in a rush.
Actors exit via taxi - always!!
Daffodils anyone
They can go on holiday, emigrate at the last minute
People turn up with nothing, next day they have a fully furnished house and a job on the same street
No one breaks wind.
They go to the pub everyday
They NEVER claim benefits. They think it more fun to prostitute steal and let their kids go hungry rather than sign on.
The music in the pub always stops when there's a fight 
No on e ever seems to complain about the government - we all complain about them at some point in our lives.
I'd love to see Phil Mitchell and Ian Beale discuss the NHS reforms over a pint in the Vic
Billy Mitchell always treated the worst by Phil but always goes back for more
The people with little kids NEVER look after them/are with them
Yes! You notice that more when they've got their timelines wrong.
Actors exit via taxi - always!!
Jean didn't! 
No one ever seems to complain about the government - we all complain about them at some point in our lives.
I'd love to see Phil Mitchell and Ian Beale discuss the NHS reforms over a pint in the Vic
TBF, Eastenders used to do that (sort-of). Indeed it was part of their brief: to provide a social commentary on "ordinary" people. I still remember well an fight between Ian Beale and his father Pete: Pete attacked his son for "selling out" his working class roots and becoming a Yuppie, then Ian retaliated by pointing out that Pete had himself voted for Thatcher. They could never do that now...
The political slant was largely dropped in the rush for ratings, but there were also self-inflicted problems due to the BBC having to appear unbiased and consider both sides of any issue ("Say what you like about the Ku Klux Klan, but they know how to keep their whites clean and bright."). Also, there was an increasing "realism" problem: as the producers have admitted, many of the characters currently in EE wouldn't be able to afford to live in the real East End nowadays...
No one ever seems to complain about the government - we all complain about them at some point in our lives.
As an aside: I remember back in the days when EE was pulling in over 20 million viewers (
), some wag pointed out; "If Eastenders is supposed to be so realistic, why do we never hear any of its characters discussing Eastenders?" 
I used to quite like Doc Martin, but drifted away from it after about S3 I think. Never really watched New Tricks - seen the odd episode. I presume Dennis Waterman wrote the theme tune, sang the theme tune
All the houses seem to have endless bedrooms for people to stay in
Bianca and Kat make a living from a stall they keep packing up and walking away from
They all talk about family being the most important thing.
. . . but all hate each other!!
And when they talk about something private they stand about 3inches apart ... even though there's no one around!!
They never visit their family in prison or even mention them
They only ever seem to go to the local shop to do their shopping
They only ever seem to go to the local shop to do their shopping
TB F I have heard EE cast say they are going up (is it West?) shopping. I presume they are going into London.
If EE has no storylines let's make up a new football team 
They never visit their family in prison or even mention them
It varies.
Characters who are in prison short-term are visited (e.g. Max recently in EE).
Long-term prisoners (i.e. where the actor has either left the series or is on extended leave) tend to conveniently order their family not to visit...
They only ever seem to go to the local shop to do their shopping
TB F I have heard EE cast say they are going up (is it West?) shopping. I presume they are going into London.
Yeah: EE characters are often "heading off up West" (presumably London's West End) for shopping or a night out.
TBF. one of Albert Square's defining characteristics is a street market, so EE is a bit more "self-sufficient" than most places...
nobody goes to a football match, close family members who have never been mentioned arrive with just a suitcase, no one goes to the loo, bills are never paid, cost of said bills not mentioned, at family celebrations only the locals are invited - not the relatives who are going to appear next week........
Something that just occurred to me:
I don't know about other soaps, but when EE characters are having a fancy meal at home, they always buy a bottle of wine from the pub. Does anyone do that in RL? 
nobody goes to a football match,
That's another thing that EE used to do, but doesn't anymore. They even had their own club: Walford Town. Arthur Fowler was a hardcore fan, and even scouted for them at one point. The Mitchell boys also occasionally went to West Ham games (especially when Jamie was around).
Nowadays, Walford Town's defunct, and all the Hammers fans in the Square seem to just watch from their armchairs...
