In looking through the want-ads the other day, I noticed a job opening at the YWCA. I told April, "I think I'm gonna go down there and apply for a job as a Nipple Inspector for Female Joggers." She glared at me. "Look," I said, "the pay might be lousy, but the tips will be great."

A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her
to come back to his hotel.

When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the first
man you ever made love to?"

She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying.
"You might be," she says. "Your face looks familiar."

A chap comes home with some multi-flavored condoms to spice up the long winter nights. He comes in, throws off his coat, and announces it to his missus, who becomes immediately excited.

Without a word, she grabs him by the nuts and drags him upstairs. He jumps into bed, and she runs off to the bathroom to powder her nose.

While he is lying in the bed, hands behind his head, the wife comes in. She strips at the foot of the bed and slides up under the bedding and starts playing the pink oboe.

Suddenly, she lifts the bedding and says to her husband "Mmmmm, cheese and onion?" To which he replies, "No, hang on a minute. I haven't put one on yet."

It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life.

Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" he asked. But the Lord was very adamant, and that was all man could have.

Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years," he protested, "Ten is plenty for me." Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten?" The monkey graciously agreed.

Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years, and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said of course he could.

Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years, but like the others, ten was sufficient, and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?" The donkey agreed.

This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it and ten years of making an ass of himself.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto placed his ear to the ground and listened.

"Buffalo come," remarked Tonto.

"How can you tell, Tonto?" asked the Lone Ranger.

"Face sticky!"