I wonder at wot age smacking shud stop?

11, 12, 13 ... is 14 not ok?

Is it therefore ok to smack a 19yr old?

It's assault if you hit ,slap or smack an adult.It should be the same for a child.

Threads like this make me wonder sometimes if we are constructing essays for people. The smacking debate seems redundant to me. IMHYCO, There are more important childcare debates to be had out there.

When I am walking around a supermarket and the child in front of me is screaming and behaving like a little shit. I want to smack the mother not the child.

Oh I dunno, imo mightn't be a bad start re most child care debates if we were ever to get some agreement that it's not okay for bigger/more powerful people to hurt children, in any way...... Have never understood that, whilst there's pretty much general agreement that we shouldn't hit adults or animals that displease us or we think need to behave differently, that we make an exception for children

Jeward? Oh yes!

I dunno really.

The thing is this: Quite a lot of parents that I have known used smacking as a punishment not only because it was how they were raised but because it was also quick and hassle free for them.

The reason we seem to have kids out of control is that other forms of punishment/behaviour modification or whatever you want to call it, take time and effort for the parent to do and quite frankly a lot of parents are just too bliddy lazy or unskilled enough to do them. The kids know this and take advantage.

Is smacking kids right? No in an ideal world it isn't. But I wouldn't castigate any parent who did it, provided other avenues are used as well,

Should it be used if it is the only discipline that a particular child with delinquent parents will get? I really don't know but I see plenty of kids on my estate who know that they can't be touched and know that no one with any authority will put in the time and effort to use other methods to correct wayward behaviour and nurture a child accordingly.

And we as a society will suffer these kids (and adults)

 

ooooooooooooooooooh really tricky - I guess I smacked my kids (lightly) a couple of times when they were small - it wasn't a regular form of punishment but ...............I did do it.

 

I would never dream of smacking my grand sons but we took them away for the weekend last week. The youngest grandson went over to the freezer in the shop (at the zoo) and took out a lolly. I told him to put it back as he'd not long had an ice cream - he started to try and take the paper off and when my husband tried to take it off him , he held on hard and started a mini paddy (very out of character) - my husband gave him a tap on the back of his hand - he was shocked beyond belief but simply handed it over.

 

Out of the kids earshot I went balistic at my husband and he really was sheepish and aknowledged that he really shouldn't have done it. The thing is - it was all resolved - over in seconds and no hard feelings.

 

There is a tap, smack, slap, punch, beating and all out abuse - it's a tricky one - in this instance it turned out OK - I guess it's knowing where the boundaries are.

I was smacked as a child, it did me no harm. As an adult, I feel I can't fairly comment because I don't have children of my own, we live in a different world these days..

I was smacked as a child too Sweet, not frequently and not severely,and I also don't feel harmed by it. I was never afraid of my parents either.

 

Soozy, I also smacked my two boys but don't think I would never smack my grandsons. I see how my son and DIL deal with my grandson who is nearly 3. They never smack, very rarely shout and don't resort to bribery. It is very labour intensive though and luckily they both have the intelligence and patience to be able to channel my grandsons behaviour when he is out of line.

 

I hate it, always have, but I smacked my daughter once when she was seven and I was at the end of my tether. She looked at me and said 'Mum'. We were both completely shocked. That was it, I never felt more guilty and still do.

What had she done?

 

 

I totally agree that it's not a good thing at all but ....................very, very occasionally a short sharp tap may diffuse a situation - should never be an overhanging threat or ultimate punishment.

 

I never ever had tantrums from my kids - they were generally 9pretty good kids). Not sure what I used to do TBH - just talked it through but .......in the heat of the moment there might have been a couple of taps on the hand or leg - not proud of that at all ...........it was what it was at the time!

I saw a young girl today in the car park at Waitrose (just showing off in case Rawky is reading )

 

She was mid uber tantrum, there was an old couple looking on with totally disapproving looks. The girl's dad said very calmly "I am going to count to three, then we are going to walk nicely to the car".

 

He got to two, the little girl got up from being prone on the ground and walked nicely to the car.

 

I smiled at the old couple ...

I do the counting to five thing with my boys .......................it works ..........GOD KNOWS WHAT I'LL DO WHEN THEY STOP COMPLYING!

 

Beat the crap out of them I suppose (joke)

Count to 10??

 

 

Head butting would be apt 

i do the 123 thing if Olivia dont stop by 3 then she knows shes sent to her room and she really dont like that

No need for that. Just cut their hair off. No degree of physical stuff could be worse than that!

 I've never smacked my children - I couldn't.

 

I wouldn't attempt to dictate to others - it's just not something I could ever do.

 

 My kids were disciplined using a variation on the naughty step idea, and using stuff like star charts to reinforce the good stuff - they're ok  

 

I can do the none violent route....... for now 

I used to be in favour of a total ban, but have got more flexible on the subject as I have got older. I personally wouldn't do it, but when used in extreme moderation I think it should be up to parents.

Seriously,  raise your hand to a  small person...I don't think so.I'll state again,if you hit an adult it's a  crime.Why the hell do so many folk think it's okay to hit a child.Oh and as for the  teach them option....NO!

Supes! You misunderstand me. I thought that we had already decided that smacking was wrong. It's a redundant argument. I remember many years ago reading a UN charter about the rights of children. I can't remember the exact title but I know that we are failing children, all children, big time.

(by all children, I mean children all over the planet)

Yeah, but there's smacking and smacking...as long as you don't beat the hell out of them!

I'm going to have a look at the crossword Sprout.

Fraid in todays society this post is a non-starter. The powers that be make the rules but never give advice on alternatives on how to discipline a child.

sprooty agree with you

 

Jonesy - your avi is awful  - it makes my eyes go funny sorry !!!

Was trying to hypnotize everyone here Doing my head in now so i will change it.

Ros and Sprout - I agree ................smacking should never, ever be used to hurt a child but ...............a short sharp tap in exceptional circumstances is, I think excusable. I didn't think I'd say that but re my post ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^above - it can work. There are no hard feelings but - it can resolve a situation that might otherwise get out of control. 

soozy agree - my son got a short tap on the legs when he had gone too far - he is now 21 and in Uni

i for one will not be sorry - it makes my eyes go a bit 

Oh well that's ok then "Don't beat the hell out of them" What degree of "beating " is your guidline then?.Little tap on the hand,harder smack on the bum etc.This a small wee person,not an adult.I'd never hit,smack a child,anyone who does has lost it,my opinion of course.

I'm gonna be shot down here but.......in my experience a tap on the hand and if it goes further a smack on the bum normally sorts it.......or has done with me and others in my family, but everyone's different 

And that said.........my mam just had to look at me at times when I was doing wrong...........

Yep .....................we're maybe of a different generation. As I said - I would never smack my grandkids. When it comes to your own kids though .................I guess as it was a few years back it was different somehow. Sensible people I think know the difference between a tap/smack and a beating. IMO - a short sharp shock did work - I would never physically hurt a child but - they are children - sometimes in the heat of the moment verbal reasoning doesn't work (small children often can't understand an argument). I have three kids I did smack/tap on very rare occasions - they have grown into well balanced adults - none of them ever threw tantrums.

 

Sadly there are always people/parents that will go over the top - a ban on smacking will never put an end to that.

 

TBH - i really don't think there should be laws in place to stop parents disciplining their children the way that they choose to (beatings aside obviously).