My son started high school last year. Initially my first choice didn't come through, but I appealed and he got in. Now he wants to go to the local school which IMHYCO, is a shitehole in comparison. But he's adamant he'd rather go there. After months of whinging, I applied and he has been given a place should I want it. But I want him to stay at the school he's in, but he doesn't.

It's a tough one cos one part of me is thinking 'I'm the parent, I know what's best', but at the same time his happiness is paramount too. Oh gawd I dunno Help!

Fingers crossed that everyone got their school of choice.
I'm also in Scotland, so never had this worry (when mine were still at school).

Didn't know that. I know that Scotlands laws and systems tend to be a hell of alot better than ours, but not sure about the schooling system. Then again from what I've heard education in Scotland generally seems to be of high importance so I would imagine most schools are quite good?

That's a tough one Karma. Obviously, you want him to go to the better school, but you don't want him to be there if it makes him miserable. Is he the type of lad who will do well, wherever he goes, or are you worried his grades will slide if he goes to the local school? Then again, will his grades be affected if he is miserable in his current school? This parenting lark never gets any easier, does it - and I have been absolutely no help whatsoever, sorry.

Don't be daft Yogi! xx I think he's the sort of kid that will do well regardless cos he does have an interest in learning. My worry is his peers really. He has friends who go the school of his choice, and thinking about it I may be being a little bit selfish really, cos even though I think the school is a dump, apparently it is picking up, but it will never be close to how good the school he is in now.

I dont want to be one of these mums who lives their dream through their kids if you get what I mean, forcing him to go somewhere cos it's my choice and will look good on his CV later on. Thing is if he leaves this place he will never get back in, I had to fight as it was. I'm one of these who studies Ofsted reports and speaks to as many locals as possible, and where I live they're not used to that   I'm now just thinking out loud now, sorry

We had 8 months of hell cos of this last year.... and even last August it was looking like I would have to home school my son for a few terms....  thankfully we got a tip off about spaces in a good school across the county border over in Suffolk.

HUGE hugs to anyone going through this this year...   don't dispair... don't give up... the process is a complete nightmare...  but persistance will pay off xxx

Sounds to me like you are a good mum Karma, who always has her son's best interests at heart. You will make the right decision.

I'm in Scotland too! My daughter doesn't start school for another 2/3 years so I don't have to bother just now. We are right in the middle of two catchment areas so I have to apply for the school of my choice so hopefully we will get in as her cousins go there

I have also decided to send her to the nursery within that school as I feel any little friends she might make there will surely be going to that primary school and she should know a few faces

At least here you know in advance what school your kids are going to and you know their friends are going as well,its just an automatic transfer from primary, they even get for the odd day well before the transfer to get familar with the new school. Mine are all up now apart from the baby she started secondary last year, it's stressful enough for the youngsters without the extra worry of what school their going to..........Really hope things go well for the kids and parents today

Knew I should have bloody moved to Scotland

Karma if your son is happy and doing well thats. youv've done the right thing........

Well, as for happy, he's developing early and 'happy' is not on his radar at the moment. Confused by testosterone is a term I use

I've only got the one child, and it's just I can see areas where he's really bright and I want to make sure this is recognised and he reaches his full potential you know? I'd hate to think that he was just getting through school for the sake of it (like I did). I cant force him to do owt and I dont want to, but it's tough when you see potential in certain things but the kids dont want to do it. But thanks Ozzy, and thanks everyone else x

i'm waiting to hear...thankfully this is the last time I have to do this....though nos 2 and 3 were ok cos they got into the school of my choice though siblings...it was number 1 who never got offered a school place at all let alone of his choice that was very stressful...and now the last one has his no1 choice as a school number one never got into (though number 2 is the school the others are at so if it comes to it he'll get in there and I'd be more than happy with that)

Will you know today then Croc?........

i thought the letters were sent today so i'll know whenever that turns up....i think.

Fingers crossed then......

Well postman has been and no letter re schools...just a load of Uni stuff for number 2 son.

More waiting then......

Yep...but with the post round here it could take a week!

What's the saying "No news is good news".......It was on the news there, some people have been told already, .......

We got our letter a week after the other kids in our village...    the other kids more or less got their choices...    my boy was the only one to get allocated to the always failing even after special measures, middle of the roughest estate we have, school known affectionately as Heroin High!

Still... things may have looked bleak then... but they turned out better than we could have hoped really.   Especially as one of schools that turned him down, that we were actually going through appeal procedure with has also taken a turn for the worse (they had a drugs raid there last week... )

I know in Dartford poeple found out online yesterday due to a cock up....i can' even look online cos I was offline when you had to register for that

Can not e-mail them croc?.....Say you didn't know you had to register?

you could phone the schools admissions number at the council for ours... but the lines tend to be permanently engaged from now til mid april with people responding to their allocation

Or  check online for a help-line number, there must be some way of getting information

I've had a good look round the website...theres no info and as Ditty said any number would be permananly engaged....it took them 8 months to reply to a letter from me telling them i was going to teach my son a home (the oldest) so i don't think theres any point chasing up...my local LEA are useless...thats why the are the worst in the whole country!

That's shocking croc......

Most of the schools riound here are shocking!!

What is considered a good school here would be poor in most areas

I guess we take a lot for granted then, I've been so lucky with my families education then, they all went to the same primary, and the same secondary, and have all done well......

At times like this I wonder how my generation ever survived without being able to choose schools.

karms xxx..........i had the same situation.........eldest daughter went to what i consider to be the best school round here....she loves it......when youngest spongettes turn came she got in too..........and it's a church school so i was one of those awful parents that dragged the kids to church 3 yrs prior to eldest getting in cos you had to get a letter signed from the priest to prove you went blah blah blah.......i did it cos it was what i considered the best secondary round here...

youngest went and hated it...there were tears  and it really got to her....she was desperate to go to the big high school in town where a load of her mates went.....i appealed and got her in.......she's back to her usual self now an much happier!!..........i sooooooooooooo wish i'd just let her go in the first place!

good luck in whatever you and your lad decide xxx

So we got the letter today and my boy the the school we wanted...and so did all his mates

That's great news croc, you must be so happy, and your son also.......

he doesn't know yet....

excellent news!

all his mates too!  woohooo!

he'll be like a pig in shit!

hahaha!

Well he might be dirty,  but at least he will be happy.....