why is it they always try and rewrite history in their favour? even though you were there and remember what really happened...the mind boggles it really does lol...my dad does the same, it's quite bonkers.

my dad text my OH tonight and asked him to come round and pick the easter eggs up for my boys after ignoring my OH's last few texts suggesting he fix things (he was trying to help, cos he fels responsible)

i'm so close to replying back telling him to shove them up his arse, if they can fit next to his head...

I am convinced my dad is a sandwich short of a picnic.

He believes his own lies!   At least, I have to believe that he does... cos if in fact he is fully aware that he is lying...  then thats even worse.

i think that is the case maybe, cos mine seems to think he is perfect so he must believe his own lies...so i know what you mean.

I don't get it Hoob!   I don't get what their motivation is... what they get out of it?

I'd move to the other end of the country from mine if I could.

Having re read the opening post - I was just curious if anyone had spoken to the brother in question. seems like your dad maybe having problems there. Is it not possible that the brother simply didn't want to come and your dad was sparing your feelings? I don't know - I'm probably barking up the wrong tree altogether but it sounds to me like your dad could do with some support re your brother not criticism.
I've probably read it wrong but - it's just a thought. why not contact your brother to get to the bottom of it?

the brother was spoken to...i rang them both individually the night before, to make sure things were sorted, what happened was my brother didn't put his clock forward he was awake though, but didn't hear the door go when the lift turned up and my dad didn't bother to ask him if he was ready...just whinge about him not coming and not speaking to him when he got to my house.
they dont talk to eachother...except for the VERY basics. i communicate for them....even though they live in the same house. i can understand why my brother doesn't talk to him tbh. he was living in his own flat happy and getting on with life, then mum died and dad asked him to move back..he did and ever since dad has been slagging him off to everyone. he ruined christmas cos he was slagging my brother off for overcooking the roasties...saying he was F'ing useless and is stupid and how he ruined the day....all this language in front of my kids too! HE ruined the day NOT my brother...i mean they were potatoes ffs...plus imo they were fine.

dad has always been like this, i dont remember one positive thing come from him...ever...at all.

i've tried being there for him, even though all he does is put me down, put my brothers down and slag my deceased mother off..i've put up with it..not anymore.

my brother did come in the end btw...as i say he was an hour behind LOL we just went the long way round and picked him up on the way....after driving round town searching for a grumpy old git.

Ah - that makes it clearer. I can see now why you're peed off. It's sad really but dont know what you can do TBH - sounds like your dads maybe a bit depressed - then again if he's always like it - what can you do?

reckon he has this http://www.ptypes.com/compensatory-narpd.html

every bullet point is him down to a tee.......

dunno what to do soozy, but i dont have the energy anymore...i have my own problems and my own stresses which are affecting my health without all this too.

Oh dear ..........that's really sad but as you say - what can you do?