John James had a mug just like thunder
From crisis to crisis he'd blunder
But then he was dozy
To start in on Josie.
She kicked him straight up his Down Under.

Why hasn't my limerick appeared? I worked hard on it

Toid 

Josie just wants to have fun
She giggles all day in the sun
She`s so full of glee
She`s hap happee
But she`s a sh*t stirrer   

 
Not my best work

Shabby's a bitch!
She's a big fat bitch!
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a stupid bitch!
If there ever was a bitch!
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls!

On Monday she's a bitch,
On Tuesday she's a bitch,
On Wednesday thru Saturday she's a bitch!
Then on Sunday just to be different,
She's a super king kamehameha bi-atch!

Lalalala lalalala

Have you ever met Shabby
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a mean old bitch,
And she has stupid hair!
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
She's a stupid bitch! (Woo!)
Shabby's a bitch
And she's such a dirty bitch!(Hey!)

Talk to kids around the world.
It might go a little bit something like this...

[Sung in 4 different languages by other children]

I reeeally mean it,
Shabbyyy,
she's a big fat, stupid' bitch!
Shabbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Yeahhhhh, Chaaaaa!

Post it again then

Shabby was horny for Caoimhe
And hoped that she never would laoimhe
She said: "I've predicted
"I'll soon be evicted
"So first, could you give me some baoimhe?"

 

There was a naff housemates called Shabby
Known better by nickname of Scabby
An actress she said
So she jumped into bed
With keever - her fave kimo sabe!

Rawkey

 

Josie the thumb sucking fool
Whispered with Govan  the tool
He spread the word,like a sh1t stirring turd
And was nommed for eviction  -by rule!

I'll do a proper one now:

The was a housemate called Govan
But he was really Andi Peters

fin

very clever Demantoid   although Rawky's is best so far as I can imagine Kylie singing it on Top of the Pops

Rawky - that is angry, man!

  Love it 

Young David was smoking some grass

And dispatching some rodents with gas

When he stopped for a rest

and lifted his vest

And Jesus fell out of his arse

Rawkey!

What's with the 'E' Sazbomb?

And a haiku from me!

Bathroom girls boringly flirt
The tree shall part them
Voters wait with glee!

Govan is such a nice lad
He never says anything bad

He`s kind and he`s sweet
He`s baldy wee treat
If he choked on his toast I`d be glad.

There was a young woman called Shabby
Whose manners were totally scabby
she gossiped a lot
was kettle to pot
but her acting was overly hammy

Sorry I remembered you mentioning it recently, and I thought you'd said people miss the E so I made a special effort to put it there

There was a young lady called Corin
Some say her accent sounds forrin
I disagree, won't hear a word
I think she's a lovely orange bird!

*gets coat*

There was a mad monk called Dave
Who swore Steve's legs he could save
On his nubs he would rub
While filled with God's love
Any excuse for a rave.

You talented lot

Wherefore art thou Mario?
On Friday I hope you don't go
You were good as the mole
But quiet since then
Come out of your hole
and the shadow of Ben!

Big Ben started tolling the hour
While Mario hid in his tower
While they both stayed rooted
Sly Gollum got booted
And Scabby looked even more sour.

The was a young lady called shabby

Whose mood was decidedly crabby

she drank from the cup

put mario up

and gets on my nerves cos she's gabby

*snort*

Good thread Deman

There once was a lass called Sunshine
Occasionally she'd have a good whine
She's a bit of a kook
But don't give her the boot
There's worse in there at this time.

There was a geezer called Dave
Our souls he wanted to save
His mission you see
Was to preach to thee
He's either stupid or very brave.....

COuldn't think of anything for the last line, lol...

...do they have to be Limericks...can we do little rhymes as well?

Express yourself, Devil!

There was a young fella called John James
For some reason his Mother gave him two names
His temper was explosive
Towards Rachel he was corrosive
..or maybe he just doesn't like all dames

There's a song in there somewhere....

Another haiku

Ben he has odd hair
Unruly it goes this way and that
This summer we contemplate it.

Big Brother is watching
And making the rules
They seek fame and fortune
The deluded fools

They all think they're special
In their own little way
Full of their own self importance
With way to much to say

I do hope Big Brother
Has lots of twists planned
And hope 'BB's listened
To the publics demands

By far the best Housemate
Is the Tree of Tempation
So thankyou Endomol
For that cracking creation!

And another:

Ben, he's electric
The air around him crackles
And his hair's shocking.

  Good one DiD.

Well i'm doing a little song for my next one....to the tune of "the Ash Grove"  (AKA Hairs on her Dicky-Di-Do, the chorus from which you can add at any point )

That Ben is quite Drippy

With Hair like Mr Whippy

And lips like he ate a chip he

Took straight from the pan

 

He’s got a posh nightie

And likes to start a fightie

Then hide like a  f**ing shitey

Behind Mario his fan

 

Some say he’s a bit poncey

And he fancied the cheap Beyonce

But when he gets his next fiancee

I bet it's a man!

Dancey!