Awww ((((Diamante)

I suppose it has to be done sometime, maybe that's the only time they had to clear the stuff.

quote:

Originally posted by queenshaks:
Awww ((((Diamante)

I suppose it has to be done sometime, maybe that's the only time they had to clear the stuff.

I know queenshaks, just seems a little too soon, but as you say, it has to be done sometime I guess...

The Funeral is Friday, we (her Friends) have decided against all black, I am wearing a bright red jacket (over black clothes) as Vicky LOVED colour and always had gorgeous jackets of all colours & styles....she loved clothes and always looked fantastic, so am going to find something a little different to wear rather than the usual black pants & top....

Sounds fab Diamante...really does...

She will be smiling down on you all for thinking of her

D for you honey, In these situations we all do and feel differently, but I know how you must have felt seeing this, I really do sorry for your loss babe.

quote:

Originally posted by queenshaks:
Sounds fab Diamante...really does...

She will be smiling down on you all for thinking of her

Thanks queenshaks, I know she will!

quote:

Originally posted by love greek sunsets:
D for you honey, In these situations we all do and feel differently, but I know how you must have felt seeing this, I really do sorry for your loss babe.

Thanks Jen...

It must have been a shock for you . Did she own her house or was it rented, if she rented her family will only have been given a short time to empty it and that may have been why it`s been done so soon. I know here in Sunderland the local housing corporation (ex council) only give relatives 7 days or else they have to pay the full rent till the keys are handed back.

my previus next door neighbour died last week, she was only about 40.the son and the boyfriend come over and stand in the garden and cry and then go away again, but she rabbits and guinea pigs in hutches in the garden and no one has been to take them away, dunno if they are being fed and watered, can't acess the garden because of gates and fences.

quote:

Originally posted by jeppa:
It must have been a shock for you . Did she own her house or was it rented, if she rented her family will only have been given a short time to empty it and that may have been why it`s been done so soon. I know here in Sunderland the local housing corporation (ex council) only give relatives 7 days or else they have to pay the full rent till the keys are handed back.

She owned the house... You never think about someone having to go through all your possessions

sorry about your friend devil.

quote:

Originally posted by JacksonB:
my previus next door neighbour died last week, she was only about 40.the son and the boyfriend come over and stand in the garden and cry and then go away again, but she rabbits and guinea pigs in hutches in the garden and no one has been to take them away, dunno if they are being fed and watered, can't acess the garden because of gates and fences.

Awww, what a shame...so sad when people die so young

quote:

Originally posted by JacksonB:
sorry about your friend devil.

Thanks Very sad indeed. Ten days before she passed away, she had a fit and broke her nose, she still went into work the next day with black eyes and bruises and never complained....her fits had been getting more regular, she had had 3 in the last couple of weeks, the last one proving fatal.....

...we'll give her a good send off though!

So sad to read about any life suddenly taken

I'm sure it must have upset you, but everyone deals with id differently. My mother did the same with my dads stuff days after he died and she loved him dearly. I think it was something she had to do, it was more of an acceptance thing than anything else. I'm sure you'll look fab for the funeral, and hope it makes it easier for you when it's over.

quote:

Originally posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
I'm sure it must have upset you, but everyone deals with id differently. My mother did the same with my dads stuff days after he died and she loved him dearly. I think it was something she had to do, it was more of an acceptance thing than anything else. I'm sure you'll look fab for the funeral, and hope it makes it easier for you when it's over.

She'd love the colour, come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw her in black...NEVER....so, it'd seem wrong to wear all black really!!!!!

DiD It must hurt to see her house bare, but maybe it's just what they had to do. My Mum was in a home, so not the same, but when she passed away my sister and I went down two days later to clear her things (despite being told there was no rush) We just kinda felt it was never going to get any easier, so bit the bullet and did it. Maybe they're the same.

I love the sound of the bright clothes for the funeral - just what she'd want I'm sure, she sounds like a real star.

quote:

Originally posted by ~~KaffyBaffy~~:
DiD It must hurt to see her house bare, but maybe it's just what they had to do. My Mum was in a home, so not the same, but when she passed away my sister and I went down two days later to clear her things (despite being told there was no rush) We just kinda felt it was never going to get any easier, so bit the bullet and did it. Maybe they're the same.

I love the sound of the bright clothes for the funeral - just what she'd want I'm sure, she sounds like a real star.

She was....clothes & jackets were her thing...only fitting i think that we reflect that!!!!

I'm sorry for your troubles. Knowing how long to leaving things is always difficult.

My grandmother died last week and Ma and I decided to just close the house up and leave it for a while, too raw to start clearing personal effects yet.

Teddy

quote:

Originally posted by JacksonB:
my previus next door neighbour died last week, she was only about 40.the son and the boyfriend come over and stand in the garden and cry and then go away again, but she rabbits and guinea pigs in hutches in the garden and no one has been to take them away, dunno if they are being fed and watered, can't acess the garden because of gates and fences.

Noooo. Can't you ask then when they next come over? I'd break in if I thought they were starving.

DiD, I'm sorry about your loss and I know how final it all seems when your friend's house and possessions have all been cleared. Perhaps it is a job that her relatives felt had to be gotten over with - and quickly too.

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:
I'm sorry for your troubles. Knowing how long to leaving things is always difficult.

My grandmother died last week and Ma and I decided to just close the house up and leave it for a while, too raw to start clearing personal effects yet.

Teddy It is difficult, I'm not sure how I'd cope with a whole house, but I was sort of on 'automatic pilot' immediately after my Mum passed away. The blokes in my family are bit hopeless at 'official' stuff, so my sister and I did everything and it's weird, I treated it a bit like 'work' and the grief was totally separate to the job in hand, if that makes any sense. What we did put away for a few months was her jewellery, we couldn't face that.

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:
I'm sorry for your troubles. Knowing how long to leaving things is always difficult.

My grandmother died last week and Ma and I decided to just close the house up and leave it for a while, too raw to start clearing personal effects yet.

Teddy So sorry to hear that

Thanks guys. She was 94 so it wasn't unexpected but still very hard. She was a big influence on me growing up, my parents travelled a lot so I spent a lot of time with her. Glad I got to see her one last time before she went.

quote:

Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:
...as some of you know, my Friend passed away last Monday suddenly....

...I drove past her House on Friday and there was a car (probably Family) with the boot open ready to be loaded up!!!

I walked past this Morning and the whole House has been stripped bare, blinds, furniture, the lot...

I know it's up to Family but IMO it's in bad taste as she's only been gone a week! The Funeral is Friday....I couldn't believe it!!!!

I guess it's none of my business but it just made me feel a little sick that everything has been taken so quickly!!!!

Anyways, sorry for the rant, it just shocked me a little this Morning!!

Families, deaths and funerals

Really sorry to hear about your friend, Devil

When my mum passed away it took me and my sister a year before we got around to sorting out the contents of her house .... but we had that option as her house was all payed for etc.

Perhaps your friends house was rented ... even so, a week is a little soon for comfort.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend devil. I agree with you, I can't see any reason why things have to be sorted in that much haste. Did she live on her own? At the very least they should have waited until after the funeral.

quote:

Originally posted by Poker Face:
Really sorry to hear about your friend, Devil

When my mum passed away it took me and my sister a year before we got around to sorting out the contents of her house .... but we had that option as her house was all payed for etc.

Perhaps your friends house was rented ... even so, a week is a little soon for comfort.

Her house was bought, soon to be sold i guess....

Devil

quote:

Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:
Her house was bought, soon to be sold i guess....

Jeez

I'd be shocked too ... very bad taste indeed, imo ... People should have a little more respect at such a delicate time

quote:

Originally posted by ~~KaffyBaffy~~:

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:
I'm sorry for your troubles. Knowing how long to leaving things is always difficult.

My grandmother died last week and Ma and I decided to just close the house up and leave it for a while, too raw to start clearing personal effects yet.

Teddy It is difficult, I'm not sure how I'd cope with a whole house, but I was sort of on 'automatic pilot' immediately after my Mum passed away. The blokes in my family are bit hopeless at 'official' stuff, so my sister and I did everything and it's weird, I treated it a bit like 'work' and the grief was totally separate to the job in hand, if that makes any sense. What we did put away for a few months was her jewellery, we couldn't face that.

So sorry to hear your sad news Teddy, I thought you hadn't been around for a while - I remember you speaking of your Grandmother a few times and that she wasn't too well a few months ago - .
It is hard facing a whole house clearing after a loved one has died. I know 15 yrs ago when my Mum died I had to clear her things for my Father - that was hard as he took it so bad (she died in his arms, despite she had breast cancer a clot killed her one morning, suddenly)so I had to ask him what he wanted to keep/give to charity etc - choosing the right time for him was difficult but I had to do it slowly. Then nearly 5 yrs ago when he died I had a huge 3 bedroom house to clear - things were ion the hands of the solicitor and there was no mortgage but things had to go to probate etc and my so-called brother appeared on the scene so things couldn't really hang around for various reasons. Most of the time I was alone sorting things out - and as Kaffy said you do go on auto-pilot to get the job done - sounds heartless but it's something that's hard to explain. I sort of mentally detached myself from the situation and yes certain things/personal affects affect different people different ways - I was glad for example when his brother wanted my Dad's leather chair (he died in it) as I could always see him sitting there and yet didn't want it in my home, it was too sad for me. I used to pretend on bad days that he was still alive and say 'Dad?' and want him to answer, it was as if I had to confirm it. I was really close to my Dad and still miss him and I have to pass his home every time I go out - things do get easier but I do feel I have to act 'cold/detached' at times, I guess it's my way of coping; you'll find your way too - when the time is right. Sending you and your family condolences and love at this sad time.

quote:

Originally posted by gma:

quote:

Originally posted by ~~KaffyBaffy~~:

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:
I'm sorry for your troubles. Knowing how long to leaving things is always difficult.

My grandmother died last week and Ma and I decided to just close the house up and leave it for a while, too raw to start clearing personal effects yet.

Teddy It is difficult, I'm not sure how I'd cope with a whole house, but I was sort of on 'automatic pilot' immediately after my Mum passed away. The blokes in my family are bit hopeless at 'official' stuff, so my sister and I did everything and it's weird, I treated it a bit like 'work' and the grief was totally separate to the job in hand, if that makes any sense. What we did put away for a few months was her jewellery, we couldn't face that.

So sorry to hear your sad news Teddy, I thought you hadn't been around for a while - I remember you speaking of your Grandmother a few times and that she wasn't too well a few months ago - .
It is hard facing a whole house clearing after a loved one has died. I know 15 yrs ago when my Mum died I had to clear her things for my Father - that was hard as he took it so bad (she died in his arms, despite she had breast cancer a clot killed her one morning, suddenly)so I had to ask him what he wanted to keep/give to charity etc - choosing the right time for him was difficult but I had to do it slowly. Then nearly 5 yrs ago when he died I had a huge 3 bedroom house to clear - things were ion the hands of the solicitor and there was no mortgage but things had to go to probate etc and my so-called brother appeared on the scene so things couldn't really hang around for various reasons. Most of the time I was alone sorting things out - and as Kaffy said you do go on auto-pilot to get the job done - sounds heartless but it's something that's hard to explain. I sort of mentally detached myself from the situation and yes certain things/personal affects affect different people different ways - I was glad for example when his brother wanted my Dad's leather chair (he died in it) as I could always see him sitting there and yet didn't want it in my home, it was too sad for me. I used to pretend on bad days that he was still alive and say 'Dad?' and want him to answer, it was as if I had to confirm it. I was really close to my Dad and still miss him and I have to pass his home every time I go out - things do get easier but I do feel I have to act 'cold/detached' at times, I guess it's my way of coping; you'll find your way too - when the time is right. Sending you and your family condolences and love at this sad time.

Thanks sweetie, She's been up and down these last few months I've done five dashes to Ireland this year when it looked serious and she held on until I got there this time ( which I will be eternally grateful for).

As for the house, I cleaned it thoroughly (she's been in a hospice for nearly three years) and any more we will do when Mum is ready.I just hope my uncle doesn't gut the place before then ( he's the type).

DID , hope you're ok .

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:

Thanks sweetie, She's been up and down these last few months I've done five dashes to Ireland this year when it looked serious and she held on until I got there this time ( which I will be eternally grateful for).

As for the house, I cleaned it thoroughly (she's been in a hospice for nearly three years) and any more we will do when Mum is ready.I just hope my uncle doesn't gut the place before then ( he's the type).

[/QUOTE]

Aww, for similar reasons we, my husband and I had to sort my Dad's out as my 6 yrs younger brother was ruthless - he didn't speak to my Mum for 14 yrs (a stupid argument over his wife not asking my Mum over the doorstep of his house when she bought presents for his 2 girls - he taunted me and my parents had to take out an injunction out as he lived 7 doors away from me and used to threaten to kill me, why? A way of getting back at my Mum was the only answer we could think of - the neighbours used to look at him in disgust and were glad when he moved then he started again with his 'new' neighbours?!) - even my Dad never knew the real story, it was a disgusting act on my brothers part - even his neighbours hated him, anyhow...) he turned a 'good guy' (my ar*e) when my Dad was ill, yet he chose when it suited him to visit my Dad while he was in hospital for 4 months (his girls saw my Dad twice). Four years later when my Dad died I phoned my bro' - oh, he was on the scene alright - I know my Dad decided to split the money equally (I agreed with my Dad and his will, I didn't have to) but my Dad wanted to know my Bro' wouldn't torment me after his death over the money/will as he had done over trivial things before . Then, 6 months after he had his half of the money and his girls (whom my Dad saw twice, not forgetting my kids saw him many times a day and did his errands etc)received their equal share - my brother announced he wanted to divorce his wife of 23 yrs! A shock to family/neighbours alike! We really, seriously think he timed it in line with my Dad's inheritance/death (even his ex-wife says so) - so he walked away laughing - my Dad must be turning in his grave - I'll never forgive my brother - not for the money but for the fact he used and deceived my Dad.

quote:

Originally posted by gma:

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:

Thanks sweetie, She's been up and down these last few months I've done five dashes to Ireland this year when it looked serious and she held on until I got there this time ( which I will be eternally grateful for).

As for the house, I cleaned it thoroughly (she's been in a hospice for nearly three years) and any more we will do when Mum is ready.I just hope my uncle doesn't gut the place before then ( he's the type).

Aww, for similar reasons we, my husband and I had to sort my Dad's out as my 6 yrs younger brother was ruthless - he didn't speak to my Mum for 14 yrs (a stupid argument over his wife not asking my Mum over the doorstep of his house when she bought presents for his 2 girls - he taunted me and my parents had to take out an injunction out as he lived 7 doors away from me and used to threaten to kill me, why? A way of getting back at my Mum was the only answer we could think of - the neighbours used to look at him in disgust and were glad when he moved then he started again with his 'new' neighbours?!) - even my Dad never knew the real story, it was a disgusting act on my brothers part - even his neighbours hated him, anyhow...) he turned a 'good guy' (my ar*e) when my Dad was ill, yet he chose when it suited him to visit my Dad while he was in hospital for 4 months (his girls saw my Dad twice). Four years later when my Dad died I phoned my bro' - oh, he was on the scene alright - I know my Dad decided to split the money equally (I agreed with my Dad and his will, I didn't have to) but my Dad wanted to know my Bro' wouldn't torment me after his death over the money/will as he had done over trivial things before . Then, 6 months after he had his half of the money and his girls (whom my Dad saw twice, not forgetting my kids saw him many times a day and did his errands etc)received their equal share - my brother announced he wanted to divorce his wife of 23 yrs! A shock to family/neighbours alike! We really, seriously think he timed it in line with my Dad's inheritance/death (even his ex-wife says so) - so he walked away laughing - my Dad must be turning in his grave - I'll never forgive my brother - not for the money but for the fact he used and deceived my Dad.[/QUOTE]

That sounds awful. What a nightmare. I cannot inmagine my sister and I ever behaving in such a way.My Uncle is a prat but nothing like on that scale.

All of the money has been spent on my grandmother's hospital care ( which Mum and I topped up every month) but my mum gets the house in accordance to her mother's wishes. My uncle doesn't know about and I'm sure he will create merry hell but it's been done and dusted for ten years so hard cheese. She moved home to Ireland 20 years ago and he has visited 4 times (including my grandfather's funeral) so sod him.

I will be very glad mum lives aborad when he does find out.

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by gma:


That sounds awful. What a nightmare. I cannot inmagine my sister and I ever behaving in such a way.My Uncle is a prat but nothing like on that scale.

All of the money has been spent on my grandmother's hospital care ( which Mum and I topped up every month) but my mum gets the house in accordance to her mother's wishes. My uncle doesn't know about and I'm sure he will create merry hell but it's been done and dusted for ten years so hard cheese. She moved home to Ireland 20 years ago and he has visited 4 times (including my grandfather's funeral) so sod him.

I will be very glad mum lives aborad when he does find out.

There's always something in every family that brings out the true colours of relatives/close family etc upon a death/funeral, unfortunately - even on my hubby's side in Turkey (long before I met him) his father's Mother sold a load of land that the immediate family (including my hubby's side) are still raving about.

I hope all well turns out well for you tho' Teddy - you're a lovely guy/family member imo. Pity we weren't siblings - how things would be different on both sides then.

quote:

I hope all well turns out well for you tho' Teddy - you're a lovely guy/family member imo. Pity we weren't siblings - how things would be different on both sides then

Right back at you, I thought of you When I was over there and knew you'd have some great advice for me. Thanks again, now I'd better do some work.



P.S: Big appology to Devil In Dynamite... sorry for dumping all this in your thread, very bad form and I owe you a virtual drink.

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:

P.S: Big appology to Devil In Dynamite... sorry for dumping all this in your thread, very bad form and I owe you a virtual drink.

Flattered you thought of me - you're a great family guy too.

Your right Teddy - but I'm sure DID is a decent FM and wouldn't mind (I never do if I start a thread btw) but we'll put champagne on ice for her.

You had better do some work?! I'm in the middle of a total kitchen re-fit (by Hubby - late Dad paying btw)My LR looks like a holding bay for B&Q right now! Then we have to do the finishing touches and start on the 3 bedrooms - now that's major, books/creams/clothes etc)! We're shattered doing the work ourselves, well hubby does most, I do the painting/cupboards and things people don't notice. There's tiling the walls, new plumbing for different taps etc to go and then it'll affect the bathroom that's next - then we have tiles for the back yard/front of house and as I said three bedrooms to go after that plus we have to pay MIL's rent as she's moving to the apartment next door in order for her new apartments (yes plural) to be built - plus 'connection' for gas fees etc. I have a £5,000 bill to pay tomorrow! Cliché : 'It''ll be nice when it's all finished'!

quote:

Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:

...I guess it's none of my business but it just made me feel a little sick that everything has been taken so quickly!!!!

It's hard to lose someone very close and then watch others behave in a way that you find inappropriate.
It's better that you concentrate on your thoughts and actions - if you feel you're paying respect in the right manner then that's all that matters. And yes, wearing bright clothes sounds a lovely idea.

quote:

Originally posted by Teddy Bleads:
Thanks guys. She was 94 so it wasn't unexpected but still very hard. She was a big influence on me growing up, my parents travelled a lot so I spent a lot of time with her. Glad I got to see her one last time before she went.

My deepest sympathy, Teddy. My Nan left a big gap in my life when she passed on, so I understand the emotions of your loss. xx