OK OK I'll give you the haggis thing....only because...
An Englishmen enjoys his breakfast of toast and MARMALADE invented by Mrs. Keiller of Dundee, Scotland- reaches for his RAINCOAT patented by Charles MacIntosh of Glasgow, Scotaland, to dash of to the station on his BICYCLE invented by Kirpatrick MacMillian blacksmith of Dumfries, Scotland, whose TYRES invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland run on a TARMAC ROAD invented by John MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland.
The Journey by train whose STEAM ENGINE was invented by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland takes him to work at the BANK OF ENGLAND founded by William Patterson of Dumfries, Scotland. While opening his mail whose ADHESIVE STAMPS were invented by James Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland he puffs on a CIGARETTE first manufactured by Robert Gloag of Perth, Scotland.
He later rings his wife on the TELEPHONE invented by Alexander Graham Bell of Edinburgh, Scotland. She tells him that dinner will be his favorite, ROAST BEEF - Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland.
He arrives home to find his daughter watching TELEVISION invented by John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, a programme on the US NAVY founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland and his son reading TREASURE ISLAND written by Robert Louis Stevenson of Endinburgh, Scotland and on lifting THE BIBLE he finds that the first named mentioned is a Scot - King James VI who authorized its translation.
The Englishman is unable to turn from the ingenuity of the Scots. He could turn to WHISKY but Scotland supplies the best or to end it all he could put his head in a gas ove - COAL GAS discovered by William Murdoch of Ayr, Scotland. He could shoot himself with his BREACH LOADING RIFLE invented by Captain Pat Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland. If unsuccesful he could be injected with PENICILIN discovered by Alexander Flemming of Darvel, Scotland or given an ANAESTHETIC invented by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.
