O/T I think i'm suffering from an empty nest

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Aimee

my daughter will be 16 in a few weeks time and she she is spending more time away than at home, i know i was the same at her age and know she is isn't up to no good, but i miss her

it's been just her and me since she was 3 and i've spent my 20's and early thirties being mum, i'm making great efforts too start my life again (i've got an interview at Debenhams next week

) and have thought about dating again (i have had b/friends, but never moved them in) but all my mates are just starting family's and getting married and i've already done it

also the way my daughter thinks about me makes me feel past it, she think's i'm dead old man

She's just been away to Spain for a week, now she's going to university for a week campus to see what it's like, i'm bored and lonely

BRB my eyes are leaking

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Former Member

Sounds like you've done a good job there Aimee

Good luck with the interview and grasp it while you can

7/26/103:25 PM

DirtyprettygirlthingMember

aw Aimee... been there... still am there!

its horrible isn't it?

fwiw.. this time last year I was blubbing like my heart was broken (proper loud crying) ... and whilst its been hard at times, she always comes back. And we're as close, if not closer, than ever.

Its just adjusting that takes time (for us mum's... the girls don't seem to even glance back).

Its not fair really.... we just get them to the point where they really are able to be a friend on an equal level... and we don't have to be doing for them all the time... and they up & leave us!

I found the anticipation was worse than the actual separation... most of the time

7/26/103:25 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

awwwwwwwww aims i know how you feel.........my 2 are nearly 17 and 15......they don't want to be around 'mum' either....but look at the positives.....you've brought her up to have confidence to spread her wings and to learn to be independant....and you know you'll always get that 'muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum' call....

7/26/103:26 PM

CosmopolitanMember 10 years

Sounds like you've done a great job - she has confidence and wants to get out into that big ol' world. Now all you've got to do is reclaim a bit of a life for yourself - for YOU.

Don't worry, she's still your girl and you're still her mum (the laundry will return soon enough

) x

7/26/103:28 PM

stonksMember

Awww Amee..been there got the Tshirt and the cap, they always come back, I was inconsolable but he's back but going again and I hope I'll be alright this time..it must be so hard for you it just being you two, my heart goes out to you, think of things you want to do and do them....

7/26/103:30 PM

justafriendMember

hugs aimee, it must be sad for you, and exciting at the same time,but look to the future, you could get the debenhams job meet new people, may well be some tasty bloke there

a whole new world opens for you.im oppisite to you im 28 my mums 50 and shes left me home alone for a month or so while shes gone to spain, and yep i feel lonely at times too. bb is holding me to my comp and its not good, if ben goes this week then i can stop this and get back to the pub and my vodka nights and stop making excuses to all my friends.

look forward aimee and think to yourself this could be the change i need.

7/26/103:30 PM

Rocking Ros RoseMember 10 years

awwwwwwww - been there with my son - it is soooooooooo hard - lots of

- good luck with the interview BTW

- i

7/26/103:30 PM

~Lee~Member

It's not easy Aimee but as they grow bit by bit,slowly slowly we hand over responsibility of their lives to them....When they do finally leave home our eyes and heads know they're no longer physically there but out hearts struggle,a lot....Off course you seem "old" to her,didn't we feel the same but they weren't nor are you....

You've a lot to be proud off Aimee,you done it on your own,double the work but double the rewards which are all in front of you .

7/26/103:38 PM

AimeeMember

Thanks everyone

i'm 36 so i hope it's not too late to start my life again

i love being on here and it helps alot but it's not real is it,

why do kids think your really old

i just miss being mum

i still get the washing though

i suppose i've just got to be brave and start my life again (scared smillie face)

7/26/103:37 PM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

i'm 36 so i hope it's not too late to start my life again

Behave yourself,36 is anything but too late...My "Baby" was 26 earlier this month,now that is worrying, my eldest is 30 next month and I'll be 50 in Sep.

7/26/103:44 PM

MentalistMember

I'm not there yet Aimee, mine are 14 & 15, but they are already talking University and stuff, and even though I know I've got a couple of years yet when they talk about it I feel a little blip in my stomach. I hope I have done as good a job as it sounds like you have and I send off two young men ready to face the world with good moral standards and confidence. This is the start of your life Aimee and you should grab it with both hands. Remember she may be grown but she will always be your girl and she will always love you

And remember if you get lonely I am always here to stalk

7/26/103:46 PM

justafriendMember

50's fine Lee, im suprised how well my mums taken it,(she was 50 march) she seems quite proud

7/26/103:46 PM

DirtyprettygirlthingMember

36!!!

Aimee... you're still young! Honest!

I know 36 years olds that are single & yet to have kids.... and panicking

Time to live girl! (cos when we were stuck in looking after them when they were little & our friends were all out partying... isn't it what we wanted then? The freedom we saw others having? We didn't see how much this bit would hurt though... I know that now)

7/26/103:47 PM

suzybeanMember

Aww Aimee, I've just cried my eyes out last week at my eldest son's Primary School Leavers' service. I still have my 9 year old and 2 year old twins to go....but I was still choked at how fast it all seems. I'm trying hard to be like my parents in letting go....they always say that love will always bring you back home, and to this day I still have my best poos when I go home to the house I grew up in....hope this helps

7/26/103:48 PM

Rocking Ros RoseMember 10 years

Reference:

but it's not real is it,

but we are real peeps with real experiences and i personally know how you are feeling

7/26/103:48 PM

Rocking Ros RoseMember 10 years

Reference:

that love will always bring you back home,

so true

7/26/103:49 PM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

50's fine Lee, im suprised how well my mums taken it,(she was 50 march) she seems quite proud

It's life JAF but I have warned them all I don't want a fuss like they done for my 40th,no parties or the like ,a nice meal with them and especially my 2 grandsons will suit me just fine.

7/26/103:53 PM

CosmopolitanMember 10 years

Reference:

i'm 36

Alright! Don't rub it in...!

It's all out there waiting for you, honest

7/26/103:55 PM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

Alright! Don't rub it in...!

Come join me on the envious bench Cosi.

7/26/103:56 PM

justafriendMember

sounds good Lee

7/26/103:56 PM

CosmopolitanMember 10 years

Reference:

Come join me on the envious bench Cosi.

I may not be 36 but I'm in MY PRIME, let me tell you!

But I may not be 'real'.

*prods self to check* Nope, them lumps is definitely real.

7/26/103:59 PM

AimeeMember

Thanks for that suzy

ir's hard to explain really, i left home at 18, had my baby, been a mum and now i'm on my own (she's still here but she's leading her own live) and i feel redundant (sp) it feel's very scary to start again

7/26/103:58 PM

AimeeMember

Cosmo

i wish i was 21 again

7/26/104:02 PM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

I may not be 36 but I'm in MY PRIME, let me tell you! But I may not be 'real'. *prods self to check* Nope, them lumps is definitely real.

*Adjusts Spanx*

My innards are going to be squished to death some day.

7/26/104:03 PM

CosmopolitanMember 10 years

Reference:

i feel redundant

You wait. You'll have a nice weekend planned and the b*ggers (plural 'cos I've got 3 kids) pop up last minute and "neeeeeeeeeeeeeed" you to drop everything.

And you will.

And they'll forget that you did.

Then they'll swan off out happy as a happy thing and you'll be standing there wondering why the hell you cancelled everything. And then it'll be YOU rushing around trying to catch up with your mates down the local wine bar.

Change the locks...!

7/26/104:08 PM

CosmopolitanMember 10 years

Reference:

i wish i was 21 again

I don't..! I was up to my eyes in nappies. Sprogging young has it's advantages sometimes.

7/26/104:10 PM

CosmopolitanMember 10 years

Reference: Lee

My innards are going to be squished to death some day.

No matter. We'll be dead so we won't notice.

7/26/104:11 PM

AimeeMember

Cosmo you have made me laugh tonight

7/26/104:23 PM

CosmopolitanMember 10 years

Trust me, Aimee, everyone's posts are true. Even Suzybean's bestest poos.

You'll be better than fine. xxx

7/26/104:29 PM

brisketMember Memoriam

I don't have personal experience of this situation Aimee.
But it seems you have much to be proud of.
Change is often difficult too!
But it is inevitable.
I send you my warmest good wishes.

7/26/105:27 PM

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