How horrible for you . On the information you've got I really don't know what to say ..............I know it's easy to say but - be positive and try not to worry too much until you have all the why's and wherefores and the full facts.

 

Now might be the time to bury old conflicts and just get there to support your parents and get some of the loving back into your relationship. I'm sure we all fall out from time to time but ........now would be a good time to get your relationship back on track 

 

I hope it all goes well!

You are bound to feel out of control LLF, I usually find reactions just happen naturally, if you feel you want to and your Mum would want you to.......go and give her a hug (& your Dad)....

 

My thoughts are with you xxx

i cant offer you advice cos im useless

but i'll send you my best wishes and i hope it all works out ok

All I would do is go and see my mum, no matter what might have gone before. You will feel guilty if you don.t. Huge hug to you.

Try to get to speak to the ward sister and get a better idea of your mum's condition and proposed treatment. Explain that you are not sure what to expect and want to do the best for your mum.

I hope things turn out to be much better than you anticipate.

Awww Foxy  

You cannot change the past, whatever has happened xx
I would suggest you get a good night,s sleep, and tomorrow speak to the medical team who is looking after your mum. Sometimes emotions take over and things that are said can be misconstrued . 
I hope you will find things are not so bad as they seem. 
Hugs to you  

All advice has been given, but I can give you a

Awwww LLF I have nothing to add to all the good advice here, but i hope it all works out ok for you and your family

Foxy as the others have said, have a good night sleep then speak to the medical team about your mothers treatment plan when you get to the hospital 

Little-fox   I  can`t add anything further to the good advice already given. 

 

I wish you and your family all the best. Take care of you and yours.  

I offer my support for you at this difficult time, and also agree with advice given. Take care hun.xx

Thanks guys, I feel pretty crap at the moment.  I intend to speak to medical team myself as my dad can be a little, well, vague at times.

 

Me and my mum and dad are OK at the moment, we just don't talk that often these days. 

 

I just don't know what to make of it at the moment, I just keep bouncing it around in my brain and I don't have enough information to process it properly

 

I don't know, it's so sudden, surely she's not in imminent danger? I need to understand why they feel they can't operate, there must be something else they can do :/

LLF

why dont you go to the hostpital and ask-dont bother phoning-just go

let them proper people tell ya

that might help ya a bit

I have no relevant advice but just wanted to say I hope you get some clearer answers when you get up there and I hope you and your family can find a way of dealing with whatever is in front of you

Thanks and I would but I'm kind of 150 miles away at the moment, but I'm going to tomorrow

to be fair, sometimes they can blast you with information and you take in some and forget other bits. 

 

It's best to get them to explain things to you in terms that you will be able to understand and if you don't understand ask them to explain properly and don't be put off.

 

Will be thinking of you 

 

 

I'm so sorry LLF, no words apart from what's been said.... but humongous hugs  

LLF I agree with all the above advice, just take things 1 step at a time, and try to get as much information as you can. There's no black or White in these situations, so everyone reacts differently or in their own way. If you feel a bit overwhelmed, just breathe, give yourself a minute to calm yourself and then carry on. Please drive carefully and we're all here if you need a place to talk anonymously, we're all good listeners. I wish you the very best

Foxy 

LLF Hope you managed to get some sleep. I'm sure that once you properly understand what is going on that you will feel better, often it's the not knowing that's the worst. Drive safely

LLF I know it may seem like the family are being vague, this is a coping mechanism for them. Speak to the doctors if you can to get a better idea. Having lost my father, best friend to cancer in the last few years I can tell you they are usually happy to speak to relatives. There is never a definitive prognosis and that is a good thing. There is always hope, whether it be for full remission, an extended lifespan or just for some peace.

 

Best advice I can give you is to treasure every minute you have. It doesnt matter what your past relationship has been, it is now that matters. I dont know you but I send all my best wishes to you and your family. xxx

Aw Foxy..   

 

 

I dunno what is going on at the moment..   seems like there is horrible crap like this going on everywhere..    Hope today goes ok for you (as ok as can be expected in these circumstances).. 

 

you know where we all are if you need to unload/talk..     xxxxx

 

Can't talk much at the moment, on phone. Its not good

Awww LLF

Oh dear, littlefox.    

 

Oh noes 

Sorry to hear that LLF.

So sorry, LLF.

I am so so sorry for you, about 3 years ago my dad was diagnosed with a non aggressive brain tumour which was also there for a while, about 15 years they said. not much to stress about they said.

 

so, one operation to remove...

came back 8 months later.. radiotherapy & op no`2

 

came back again and op no`3.. no chemo

 

came back again 2 months ago, he is now on chemo and i feel like my heart is being ripped out sometimes.

 

I know this wont cheer you up but please do not give up hope. Without that we have only despair.

 

I understand this is horrible & my thoughts are with you x

 

 

 

Clumsycat.  

Right, the situation looks pretty grim. The tumour has fused to my mums bowel, causing a bowel obstruction. If they ignore it she will die. They can't operate as that would kill her. The only option to save her is emergency chemotherapy to shrink the tumour but if they shrink it too quickly it will perforate the bowel and that will kill her. If they shrink it too slowly then the obstruction will kill her, they have got to get it just right. The chances of this happening are slim. My mum says she's very positive and has a good feeling about this but
although I am trying to keep my hopes up to me the situation looks bad.

Please keep your fingers and toes crossed in the next ten days, they are vital. Thanks for listening and all the hugs, I feel a bit shell shocked at the moment

Ooooooooooooooooh LLF .........such a cary time for you ...........I've been there and I know how helpless you'll be feeling. All I can say is stay positive and just talk to your mum - give her some hugs, share sone love, have a laugh and keep focused on a positive outcome.

 

Your next few weeks with your mum (whatever the outcome) are precious ............enjoy your time and put all bad feelings away.

 

I'm really sorry for you . Make your time with your mum special - live in the now.

LLF

 

Sometimes positive thinking, medicine, good luck and gawd knows what else works in your favour ... my mother in law was diagnosed with spine, liver and brain cancer in April. She had shrunk to 6 stone, and was given 'a few' months to live, was told to 'go home and put her affairs in order'.

 

She was put on chemotherapy tablets which, she was warned, would cause chronic diarrhea and vomiting. 

 

Well, she ate the tablets like they were smarties, and they affected her in the same way - ie, not at all! She's put on two stone, the huge lump on her head has disappeared and a scan shows no sign of anything going on inside.

 

She's not cured, we know that. But, just for now she is fit, healthy, and happy.

 

Don't lose hope

How fantastic . It's so good to hear stories like that. Long may her good health continue!

Littleleicesterfox  All my love to you, your mum and your family x

Thanks sooz ... back in the spring we never thought she would make Christmas - now I need to find out what's on her present list (thank goodness!!!) 

 

xxxxx