Couldn't agree more ..........some people just like to moan.

(Sincerely hope this doesn't end in a row) 

Won't be from my side - if people want to row they are more than welcome however such people will not be getting a response from me.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29...hts-use-word-retard/

It's one of those words that became offensive, despite other words, with similar meanings, being quite acceptable, if you want to call someone 'stupid'.

I actually had to tell my eleven year old off for calling his friend a 'retard' the other day, so it seems its use is being passed on to the younger generation. If people are offended by it, then why not stop using it?

Only an idiot would carry on using it regardless! 

re·tard ¹  (r-tärd)

[Middle English <tt>retarden</tt>, from Old French <tt>retarder</tt>, from Latin <tt>retardre</tt> : <tt>re-</tt>, re- + <tt>tardre</tt>, to delay (from <tt>tardus</tt>, slow).]

re·tarder n.

re·tard ²  (rtärd)

Exactly, Cosmo. He's 51 and should know full well that it is offensive.

And, by the sounds of it, he wasn't sorry in the slightest, even being sarcastic towards those he did offend. 

I'm actually on the 'moaners' side with this one.  At least he apologised.

kids say it all the time... (Blizz...  I've gone off on one when I've heard my kids say it too)..   but in their defense its just a word that they say to their friends, when bantering... meaning div or eejit etc     They have no recollection of the word when it was used to describe people with disabilities.

Older people do recollect that, and yes, are old enough to know better, or at least old enough to be aware of the offense it can cause.

This evolving language thing is a bugger with the kids...     I've spent over 5 years battling the use of the word gay as a degoratory term..  but its a losing battle..    I think at best I have taught my kids to filter what company they use words like that in...   (as in, not in front of me).    I am not stupid enough to think they restrain themselves when I'm not around though.    thing is...  though they use words like this, I know my kids are not discriminating....   racial & gay discimination doesn't even cross their minds (they can be a bit sexist though... & are most definitely ageist )

I remember my daughter coming home really really shocked & appalled that Pondlifes Mum had referred to a disabled girl as a spastic.     I had to explain to her that to her that was the correct phrase, before it got bastardised & eventually deemed politically incorrect cos of slang use. 

The use of 'retard ' and 'retarded' in a derogatory way has spread from the US, where it seems acceptable! A friend of mine used to spend a lot of time complaining about Facebook pages that were set up , purely to mock 'retards' and I can see his point about them being genuinely offensive to people with mental disabilities and their carers!

yeah...  I think you're right there (I'd never really thought about it before)... 

they shorten it to 'tard too. 

I'll be on the moaners side, just cos I find Eamonn Holmes so offensive in general that I think he shouldn't be allowed on TV... or to talk to people at all The way he talks to Ruth is awful

Good point!

^^^^^ I agree, Ditty.

My 85 year old FiL gets very annoyed by the term "gay" being used for homosexuals - he rants that when he "were a lad", the word gay meant happy and carefree - as in, the lambs were gaily skipping in the fields (his example, not mine).

Nowadays, the word gay seems to have changed again and it has become a derogatory term. 

It can be difficult to keep up at times but everyone should make an effort not to say something which will they know may offend - and IMO, Eammon ought to have known better.

And now to get my backside firmly back on the fence, I do think there are some folks out there who go looking for things to be offended by.

I do agree with that bolded phrase..... And God, it really gets on my nerves TBH, being afraid to say ANYthing.  The PC bandwagon has just gone too far.... of course, there had to be political correctness, as so many blacks and gay folk, and disabled and so on, had such a raw deal at one time, and i am fully supportive of everyone being treated with respect, no matter what colour or race they are, or what sexual orientation, but I get sick of being told what to say and told what to do.  You can't say this, you can't say that, you can't fly your English flag, you can't put a Merry Christmas banner up, it has to say 'HAPPY HOLIDAYS,' and so on.......

And I agree that it's daft that the word gay is not being allowed to be used to refer to being happy now: it's absurd...  when the flintstones were repeated in the 90s, (from the 70s,) they replaced the word gay in the signature tune with we'll have a GREAT old time, and also on GLEE: the song 'I'm so pretty' has the word gay replaced with BRIGHT!  Ridiculous... can't it mean happy as well as non-heterosexual?  Why is it offensive to non-hetros to use the word gay when referring to being happy?

On a message forum I used to be on, (back around 05/06,) I actually spoke about to a woman on loose women, who won a guest spot as a loose woman, and when someone asked what she was like (as they had missed her; ) I told them that she was pretty, funny, bubbly and intelligent and had nice eyes, and she was 'mixed race,' but I made the grave error of saying half-caste, and anyone would think I had said that I support nazisim and think black slavery should be brought back!  Someone said 'I can't believe that in the 21st century, we still have VILE BIGOTS like you, using terms like 'half caste..' 

I was stunned, because I grew up inte the 70s, and although I am not racist or bigoted, I do tend to use older phrases occasionally, and this was used to describe someone who had one black and one white parent.... and I certainly didn't mean any harm.  I flew at the poster in question and said ' I ALSO said she was pretty, with lovely eyes, a great personality and that she was intelligent and bubbly... but you've not mentioned any of THAT have you?  Get off your high horse!'  Anyway, within minutes, five of her mates jumped on me, and I was beaten.  So I told them all to go boil their heads... 

I never went to that forum again, as frankly I no longer wished to stay there with such people.  I know that mixed race is the term that you HAVE to use these days, but this was about 7 years ago, and I am old-school and didn't think anything of it, especially as one of my neighbours at the time, had one white parent and one black and called HERself half-caste.  I get sick to death of people being branded racist, bigoted, homophobic and all sorts because they don't use the correct 'lefty lingo..'  

I think that the 90s and the first half of the noughties were the worst time for people having a right go at you... I got screamed at in work one time (in 1999,) for calling coffe with no milk 'black coffee...'  But I think things are turning around now, because folk are getting pissed off with being TOLD what they can and can't say...

As for Eamonn; I can't STAND him anyway; I recall some guy messaging the show and saying that Ruth is hot and looks dead young for her age, and he said, they 'must need glasses,' and 'get an eye test man!'  FFS, if someone said that about me, my hubby would be as pleased as punch!  It's almost like he was jealous and threatened... I am SURE she can do better than him.. Let's face it, he is punching WAY above his weight!

I must admit though, I don't like the word retard being used to describe people with certain disabilites, but it is a bit much how people get jumped on for anything...it is a bit of an offensive word, but I do agree that it's stupid how you're jumped on for saying ANYthing these days, that's deemed as offensive by the rather irritating and pious far-left!

That is completely offensive and using such a word in that context is highly offensive however I don't believe that using the word in a jokey way should cause people to be offended.

But the word 'Retard' is derogatory, using humour is not an excuse. Why couldn't he have said 'moron' or 'numpty' instead?

In the context of Eammon saying it..  yes I agree totally.

In the wider context of the word being used...      words we use come from somewhere.   Cretin is a shortening of Cretinism (a disorder caused by undetected underactive thyroid in newborns... rarely seen now as all newborns have the guthrie heel prick test to pick it up).

Moron - once a term used by medics to describe mild mental retardation

Retard - for me, this one is worse than those above, but because I am old enough to remember people being classified as retarded.   

Bottom line is...   having the social skills to edit your language accordingly so as to not cause genuine offense..  and the context in which these words are used.    Most words, when directed at someone with venom & intent are offensive..   

 Exactly.

It would be helpful though, if they would stop re-categorising words, i.e. words which were inoffensive suddenly become offensive, and vice versa.

Sparkles, the original lyrics for the stage show of West Side Story were 'I feel pretty and witty and bright, and I pity anyone who isn't me tonight'

It was changed for the film version, as it was sung during daytime.

Oh I hear ya Yogi.

We should have monthly language updates.

Actually if they could add names of countries to the updates that would be handy too (having struggled this morning during a conversation with the boy, to name the ex USSR country that replaced Yugoslavia, and not being able to remember the current name of Ceylon....  it was a memory blank moment..  I do know its Sri Lanka... I just had one of those moments )

Oh I didn't know that LOL.  Thanks Blizz

AGREED Yogi! 

With you on the monthly language updates, and the countries, too.

For me personally I do find that word offensive irrespective of whether it's as a jokey term or not.  It's probably because my brother is learning disabled or what years ago would have been termed backward or retarded.  I spent so much of my childhood duffing up idiots who thought it was funny to call him spastic or retard and other silly terms 

I also feel equally annoyed when I hear disabled people being referred to as 'handicapped' that is not a term that is acceptable in this country as the disabled do not go cap in hand out on the streets begging because we happen to be disabled.  However, I do hear people using it because it's an acceptable term in America.

I agree that PC rules can sometimes be barmy i.e. we're made to use the term 'thought shower' instead of 'brain storm' in case it's offensive to epileptic people, but there are just some terms that are a no no in my book.  I also think there is the problem with so much US television programmes/films that have terms in them that we find offensive but the US use, so our kids are picking them up and using them in general conversation.  Do I admit I almost wanted to say that it's making our kids schizophrenic 

However the biggest no no in my book is the fact that Eamon Holmes is allowed to open his mouth, let alone have words come out of it.  He should know that calling someone a retard, even as a supposed joke, is wholly unacceptable on national TV.  As Ditty said, if it's while talking to friends then it only hurts the listener if they happen to be learning disabled, but on national TV you have a wider audience.

*gets off soap box* 

He knew what he was saying.

Pengy  

When it comes to deciding whether a term has become offensive, I tend to think that if one person from the group concerned is offended by the term used, then that means it IS offensive, and it is unacceptable to use it.  I don't believe that ignorance is any excuse, and the fact that certain terms might be acceptable in one country doesn't mean that they are elsewhere. 

The fact that words evolve over time is something that everyone has to accept.  My mother is in her 80s and we had a heated discussion a couple of years ago when she insisted on referring to a disabled child as a spastic, and couldn't understand why she shouldn't use the word now.  Like lots of other people here, I'm old enough to remember the Spastics Society, which was a respected charity about 40 years ago, but I think it's important to recognise that what was acceptable many years ago isn't now and to take responsibility for making sure that we don't cause unnecessary offence.  . 

Good post Growly 

Yep! 

Ummm...it's NOT acceptable over here, if you have an ounce of manners. I may be particularly sensitive to the term since I worked for the Washington Association of Retarded Citizens almost 30 years ago. The proper term then (despite the name) was "developmentally disabled", but for some reason they never changed the Association name (we were always "the WARC").

I don't care if the use is "jokey" or not. It's not acceptable.

I would never in my wildest dreams use it, I don't think it's a matter of PC, I think it's a matter of basic manners. It costs nothing to offend someone, but to the offended, it might cost a lot.  

It really is quite an offensive word, and I agree with Growly that if someone from that particular group is offended by it then it shouldn't be used... But the problem is, with lots of things, we always get people who AREN'T from that particular group ranting and complaining, like the peope concerned can't speak for themselves...JUST so they can look good and look down their nose at whoever said the word...

As someone said above, it's like some people just like to whinge, and I also get bloody sick of being afraid to say anything because of PC gone mad... but yes, sometimes it IS appropriate, like the N word is horrid and unnacceptable IMO, (although I still don't get why some blacks (some not all,) use this word themselves but go batshit if white people use it.  Never got that.)  But there is something about the word retard that is the same as the N word... it's a bit nasty... ESPECIALLY if it's describing someone disabled.  It's just icky and shouldn't be used imo.

re your mom Growly, I have worked in care and with the elderly, and so has my mother, and I can tell you that the older generation are SO not PC!  And they don't give a shit.  They're like ' I have been on this planet for 80 years, don't f***ing tell me how to speak!' They have a point, but they can be rude at times.  My nanna regularly commented on how fat I was when I was a teenager, and said 'yer a bit chubby still aren't you?'  There is being honest and speaking bloody piggin' rude.  Sometimes it's best to just say nothing.  Besides, I was 5 ft 6 and only bloody 12 stone... not exactly morbidly obese FFS.

Eamon Holmes might have apologised, but I don't believe for one single second that he meant it. I heard him and his wife being interviewed on 5life and he really doesn't come across as someone who could be humble, although he was moaning about being misunderstodd and really being a very nice person. My foot. Incidentally, back to the topic, I can't believe that any adult uses that term nowadays.

Did anyone actually watch the programme? I did ..............it was probably not the right word to use - stupid, thick might have been a better choice of word. In all honesty I cannot for the life of me see why people have chosen to be offended by it. Johnny wilkinson (not him can't remember who) (to whom it was directed didn't). It's live TV FGS - wrong choice of word maybe but it wasn't directed at 'that mans son'.

As for people saying how offensive Eamon speaks about Ruth ................................it cuts both ways .......IMO she is far more offensive towards him IMO.

I'm speechless - he did not intend to offend anyone - there are people who sit by rheir TV just waiting to be offended IMO.

  Well said Dame.    People need to think before they speak, especially when they are on live tv!  People who can't have basic respect should not be in that job.

TBH ...............I'm confused .

No I didn't think it was accepted in America Lori.... I was surprised when I read that post...   as you said, you don't use it if you have an ounce of manners; it's just plain offensive, ESPECIALLY if it's used about someone disabled.  As i said, I find it as offensive as the N word.  

If he was using the word to describe a disabled person then that is highly offensive and complaints would be completely justified however he wasn't.  At the end of the day there are hundreds of words and phrases out there that we all use every single day that offend different people for different reasons - it's life!  Are we really at the point whereby people cannot speak freely without being vilified?  At the end of the day it was a joke - nothing more - not something that was said in a nasty or offensive manner about a particular section of society.